Teach Me How to Say Goodbye
by Spunky0ne
Summary: Byakuya notices Renji is acting strangely and discovers that he is suffering from an all too familiar situation. His efforts to help his grieving fukutaichou have an unexpected result that could catapult the two into love or lead to disaster...Angsty, mpreg
1. Renji's Secret

**Teach Me How to Say Goodbye**

**(Sorry to burden you guys with one more, but I am having a really hard time right now and I need to write something that will channel the emotions I'm suffering from. This will be a bittersweet, angsty one that is a slow burn Bya/Ren. Byakuya notices a change in Renji and finds out that he is going through a painfully familiar situation. As he watches his fukutaichou struggle, he finds himself offering what it seems no one else can give the grieving redhead. In the process, unexpected love blooms...but will it survive?)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**You stand with your feet on that path that I once traveled. Teary-eyed and brokenhearted, you move forward, but the icy wind cuts on all sides and the storm rails at you. When you cannot see, extend a hand in my direction. I know the way and I will lead you through.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 1: Renji's Secret**

Byakuya sat quietly at his desk, poring over the papers in front of him, as he did nearly every day, from his arrival at the sixth division until the beginning of the training exercises at midmorning when he accorded himself a break to walk in the public gardens, before returning to the office to continue. He felt an unusual dryness in his mouth and throat and glanced at the clock, then at Renji's vacant seat.

_He is late again._

_That is the third time this week. He had seemed to overcome his habit of arriving at haphazard times after Aizen was captured, and he continued to be exceedingly diligent about it...perhaps because we were training together then._

He frowned down at his still uncharacteristically thin body unhappily and shook his head.

_Perhaps when I am cleared for training again, he will..._

His thoughts were interrupted as the door slammed open and Renji burst into the room, looking somewhat harried.

"Abarai," he said quietly in greeting, adhering to his more recently formed habit of purposely not mentioning the redhead's infraction.

"I...I'm sorry, Taichou," Renji panted, hastily shoving Zabimaru into the sword stand behind his desk, then swearing as the stand detached from the wall and sword and stand crashed to the floor, "Damn it! Sorry, Taichou. I'll fix that...after I get your tea."

"That is fine, Renji. Take your time," he said, not looking up from his work.

Renji sighed heavily and picked up the fallen sword and stand, dropping them onto his desk before abandoning the office to go and make the noble's tea. Byakuya's mind, calmed by the arrival of his fukutaichou, returned to the paperwork in front of him, reports, troop deployments and general cleanup after the chaos of the war. The array of tasks recaptured his attention and he was soon distracted away from even wondering about Renji's continued lateness.

"Here ya' go, Taichou," the redhead said, a few minutes later, setting the tea carefully on Byakuya's desk, then accidentally knocking it over and watching in dismay as the hot liquid swiftly destroyed all of the work Byakuya had completed in the last two hours. The noble bit his lip gently and said nothing as Renji apologized profusely and began cleaning up the mess.

"It is fine," Byakuya said, shifting slightly to hide the fact that some of the tea had landed on his haori, leaving several odd dark patches.

The door to the office opened and Renji made a sound of relief as Rikichi flash stepped into the room, wearing an amiable smile.

"Good morning Kuchiki taichou, Abarai fukutaichou," he said cheerfully.

He slid to a stop, staring at the mess of tea, then at the fallen sword stand that laid on Renji's desk.

"Do you need me to give you a hand, Renji?"

"I think that would be a very good idea, Third Seat Rikichi," Byakuya said quietly, "Renji appears to be out of sorts today."

"Hey," the redhead said, shaking his head, "It's okay. I can handle it."

"But you have to lead the training maneuvers in just five minutes," Rikichi objected.

"He is right," Byakuya affirmed, not looking up.

"Shit, it's that late already?" Renji mused in a flustered voice, "S-sorry, Tai..."

"You needn't apologize," Byakuya assured him, "Just go. Rikichi said that he would manage things here."

Renji let out a frustrated breath.

"Yeah, sure...okay. Thanks, Rikichi."

"No problem," the youth said cheerfully.

"But, after I get done, I want you out there to train with me," the redhead said firmly, "I already owe you for watching my back in the war, so I'm gonna kick your ass around until you reach bankai. You got me?"

"Yeah, thanks Renji," Rikichi answered, blushing.

Taichou and third seat watched as Renji grabbed Zabimaru, then flash stepped out of the office. Rikichi shook his head, laughing softly to himself and starting to clean up the tea that had spilled on Byakuya's desk and papers. Byakuya gazed at him for a moment, then moved to help.

"Oh, you don't have to do that, Kuchiki taichou," Rikichi said cheerfully, "I have it."

"Ah, very well," said the noble, standing, "I shall go and find my other haori. Some of that tea managed to find its way onto this one."

"Huh?" Rikichi mused, blinking, "You knew that and you didn't do something right away to keep it from staining?"

"It will be removable," Byakuya said dismissively.

"But, you did that to spare Renji's feelings?" the youth went on curiously.

"He was already near the breaking point," Byakuya reasoned, "It would have been counterproductive to nudge him over."

"Oh...right," Rikichi said, mopping up the last of the tea and studying the papers to see which ones might be salvageable.

Byakuya exited the office, heading for his quarters and leaving Rikichi to the task of finishing the cleaning. He whistled softly as he worked and became so involved with it, that he almost didn't notice the squad door opening to admit a young man with stunning sapphire blue eyes, careless waves of satin black hair and an unusually friendly expression for one of the noble clans.

The youth sucked in a surprised breath and turned quickly, upsetting the teacup he had righted and sending it tumbling into the trash can.

"Oh...!"

The young noble smiled.

"Do you need some help, there, Rikichi-san?"

"Huh?" the younger man said, a blush roaring across his face, "Ah...no, I'm fine. I just. I was just a little clumsy is all."

He fished the teacup out of the trash can and set it on the tea tray, then picked up the tray to take it back to the squad kitchen.

"Are you here to meet Kuchiki taichou?" Rikichi asked, then realized what a stupid question it was.

_That is the only reason he ever comes here._

"Yes," the noble answered, nodding, "Arashi and I are accompanying him back to the council hall for a meeting of the elders."

"Whew!" Rikichi mused, "Poor Kuchiki taichou has been in one meeting after another since the war ended. His powers had better return soon or he will wear himself out keeping up with it all."

"Oh, they will," Tetsuya assured him, "In fact, they would have already, but he is performing a service for the clan that requires his powers be sealed for the duration. We are not allowed to discuss the details, but that service will be concluded soon and Byakuya-sama will be back to his normal self again."

"That will be good," Rikichi concluded, "He must be getting bored with just sitting in here and filing reports all of the time. And poor Renji-san is being run ragged."

"Yes, Byakuya-sama has mentioned that he seemed somewhat rattled lately. Is he all right?"

"I think so," Rikichi replied, "But I think there was bad news about a friend he has who lives in the upper Rukongai."

"Oh?" queried Tetsuya, looking surprised, "I hadn't heard. He hasn't mentioned it when we've talked."

"Well," said Rikichi, scratching the back of his neck, "He's really private about it. He's been going there a lot when he's not working. And he rushes back to get to work."

"Ah, Byakuya-sama has been wondering why he was late several times," Tetsuya mused, "So, he is caring for his friend? Why does he not take some leave time?"

"Well, with Kuchiki taichou not having his powers and Renji-san worrying so much about him since he was nearly killed before, he can't make himself ask, I think."

"But, Byakuya-sama would, of course, grant him the leave. And I could assist him with the duties here as well as you so that he could be with his friend..."

"Renji-san takes pride in being Kuchiki taichou's fukutaichou," Rikichi explained, "He can't bring himself to leave right now, so he is really burning the candle at both ends."

He started to say more, but broke off as Byakuya returned to the room, wearing his clean haori and carrying the stained one over an arm.

"Would you like me to take that to the cleaners?" Rikichi offered, "I'll see that stain is removed."

"Thank you. I would appreciate that," said the noble, "Just be discreet. Do not bother Renji with it. Take care of it quietly."

"Sure thing, Kuchiki taichou!" Rikichi said, accepting the haori and flash stepping away.

Byakuya watched as he left, then turned his eye onto his younger cousin, who stood, also looking after Rikichi, his cheeks lightly flushed and an unusual flutter in his reiatsu.

"He's very energetic," Tetsuya observed quietly, "He always seems busy with something."

The hint of a smile touched the clan leader's lips.

"He is at that," Byakuya agreed, "He is a good, kind person. And one who is growing in power. Renji is sure that he will reach bankai at some point. I was not so sure, at first. But I must admit that he has surprised me with his persistence and determination. But then, you have been out watching him a few times, ne?"

"Eh," Tetsuya said, the flush on his face and throat deepening, "Yes...a few times while Arashi and I were waiting for you. I did go out to watch him."

Byakuya placed a hand on Tetsuya's shoulder, seeking his blue eyes and noticing the slight wistfulness in them.

"Do not worry. Our service to the clan will be done soon and you will have my blessing to see him romantically, if you wish."

"You...are not angry?" Tetsuya asked tentatively.

"No, of course not," Byakuya said solemnly, "You are not required to give your heart for this service. The clan only wants that the heir will have strong genetic traits. And you and I are both taichou level with bankai. That is why you were chosen to see this through with me."

"But I was rather hoping that Byakuya-sama would fall in love again someday."

Byakuya gave him a tolerant smile.

"Making an heir for the family does not preclude me falling in love again. But in truth, I do not want to fall in love, Tetsuya. My heart was burdened enough by it before. Better to depend on one like you who is the closest to me, but not in love. Love is a beautiful thing, certainly, but losing the one I loved is something I would not want to endure twice."

"I understand," said Tetsuya, returning his smile, "That is why I accepted"

"And I am grateful," Byakuya assured him, "But come now. The elders will be waiting to continue the preparation ritual."

Tetsuya nodded silently and followed him out of the squad room, then waited as he mounted the younger noble's tall, black Arabian stallion.

"Good morning, Arashi," Byakuya said, acknowledging the beast.

The horse nickered softly in response and turned his graceful head to sniff briefly at the clan leader as he climbed on.

_Good morning, Byakuya-sama._

Tetsuya mounted behind his cousin and needed only a thought to nudge the stallion into motion. The two men were quiet at first, enjoying the lingering coolness in the air and the fine breath of sakura that touched them as they proceeded past the public gardens. But as they moved on past the gardens, Byakuya found himself thinking back to the morning's events.

"Renji was late again today," he commented, not really meaning to say the words aloud."

"Oh," replied Tetsuya, "He is doing quite a lot of that lately."

"Yes."

"Rikichi-san confided in me that Renji-san has a sick friend he has been helping to care for in the upper Rukongai."

"Oh?" Byakuya queried, "I hope it is not serious."

"I think it is, unfortunately," Tetsuya admitted, "That is what has him so unnerved."

"I see. I wonder that he didn't simply request some leave time. I would have granted it to him, even if he did not want to explain why."

"I believe he knows that," Tetsuya said hesitantly, not wanting to damage his cousin's pride by confessing what he knew were the reasons.

But it seemed he needn't have worried.

"Ah," Byakuya went on, "He does not want to go on leave while I am like this."

Tetsuya glanced at him briefly, but didn't answer.

"It is all right," the clan leader assured his cousin, "It is no affront to call me 'weak' right now. I am powerless."

"Stop talking that way," Tetsuya chided him, "Powers or no powers, nothing about you is weak, Byakuya-sama. And anyway, as soon as our bodies have been sufficiently prepared, my powers will be sealed away for the mating as well."

"But I am weak," Byakuya insisted, "It is a simple fact. And because of that, Renji feels he has to hide this from me."

They walked on for a time in silence as the two considered the redhead's predicament.

"I think that I need to confront him," Byakuya said finally, "We can work around his absence. He needn't overtax himself."

Tetsuya smiled.

"Well, as much as I think Renji-san will appreciate the gesture, you do know how stubborn he is. He won't want to leave you alone to run things when you are on desk duty."

"Nonsense, Rikichi is making excellent progress."

"But, he does not yet have a bankai," Tetsuya reminded him.

"And most of the fukutaichous who assist the other taichous do not have a bankai," Byakuya countered, "Besides, you have a bankai, at least until our mating is done. I will just have to talk some sense into him."

"Talk sense into Renji-san?" Tetsuya mused, smirking, "You are joking, ne?"

"Ah, he is rather headstrong about my safety," Byakuya sighed, shaking his head, "Well, he is just going to have to let someone else handle it this time."

He swallowed hard as a memory of Hisana tugged painfully at his heart.

"This is someone who he feels close to, and he should be at his friend's side now."

"I agree," Tetsuya said softly, "But convincing Renji-san to leave you is not something that will be easy to do. He carries a lot of guilt about what happened before."

"Well, he shouldn't," Byakuya said with finality, "The responsibility for that is mine. It was my failure. I am this company's taichou and it was my job to protect my men. I failed to do that and a large number of my men died because of that. Renji and I almost died because of it. I will not let such a thing happen again. Not ever."

Tetsuya sighed.

"You still haven't forgiven yourself, have you?" he said sadly, "Byakuya-sama, that wasn't..."

"But it was," Byakuya insisted, "And it is now causing Renji to worry about me unnecessarily. But I will not allow that. When we return, I am going to have a talk with him."

_But I think we know just how far that will go_, Tetsuya mused inwardly, _After all, this is Renji-san we are talking about._

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hey," Renji said, smiling down at the raven-haired woman in the bed in front of him.

"Renji, you are early," the woman commented, "Why?"

"Actually, I just took a long lunch so that I could come down here."

He moved forward and removed a cluster of dying sakura blossoms from a vase by the bed, then cleaned the vase and freshened it with new blossoms. He set it back at the woman's bedside and sat down, slipping a hand into hers and leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead, then on her soft, too warm lips.

"You didn't have to do this," the girl chided him, "I am doing fine and I don't need you exhausting yourself running back and forth just to come and hold my hand."

She met his eyes earnestly.

"We both know that I do not have much longer to live, Renji."

"Shut up. I know that, okay?" the redhead said, his brown eyes growing sad, "I get it. But, you know, you were there for me when things were really bad, and now I'm gonna be there for you."

"I appreciate that, Renji. I do," the woman assured him, "But I don't want you doing that at the expense of your own health. This is not good for you."

"Well," Renji said with finality, "it's what I need to do. I won't leave Kuchiki taichou unguarded, and I won't leave you alone, not after all you've done for me. I love you, and I am going to take care of you, okay? So just leave off trying to kick me out."

The girl looked up at him, frowning disapprovingly.

"I am not kicking you out," she said with mock affront, "And _you_ should stop rewriting history. I am not the one who has your heart, Renji. I never have been...and that is all right."

"Stop it, will you?" Renji objected, "I don't want to talk about him right now."

"Why not? He is the reason I have you in my life," the girl acknowledged, "If not for your unrequited love for Kuchiki Byakuya, you would not have noticed me at all."

"Hey, I said to quit that, all right?" Renji said, tears coming to his eyes, "I'm over all of that. I got over that stupidity a long time ago. I'm never gonna be with that guy. He's a noble, first of all. He's my taichou, second, and besides, after the way I failed him, I don't deserve him. Come to think of it, I don't deserve you either."

He sighed again, more heavily, closing his eyes and bringing the woman's hand up to his face.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I got you caught up in all of that. It was really, really dumb and insulting to you."

"It was sweet," the girl said, smiling, "And I was happy that I could make you happy, even if it was only for a little while. You are a beautiful, loving person, Renji. And someday, your taichou will see that. You shouldn't give up."

"Be quiet, now," Renji chided her, "You should try to get some sleep before that pain medication wears off. Don't worry. Kuchiki taichou will be gone for a while, they said. I can stay for another hour or so before I have to get back."

"Oh, very well," the woman said, shaking her head, "I suppose there's no stopping you."

"Nope," Renji said, grinning and kissing her fingertips, "You're stuck with me, I'm afraid."

"Well, as selfish as it is, I admit I'm glad," the girl said, closing her eyes, "Your love is a very precious thing, Abarai Renji."

"Thanks, Sakiko."

He sat quietly at her side, watching until he was sure she was sleeping.

Then, he let the carefully held back tears fall.


	2. The Purification

**Chapter 2: The Purification**

**(Thank you so much for the wonderful, heartfelt responses to this story. It is currently digging into my emotional angst over RL and working some of that off, so it is having the hoped for effect of draining away some of the bad feelings as well as providing an emotionally charged story for readers. My gratitude to Sohainochiyoko (I think that a good sad story is spiritually cleansing, so the sadness serves a purpose. I find it easier after working on this to go and sit quietly with her, smiling and talking about past fun things we did and planning what we'll do when she gets out of the hospital She has been told she has up to two years to live, so we are going to enjoy every moment.), Berty05 (Aww, you are so sweet! I will do my best to keep up the momentum.), Firebirdever (I think this will be comparable in some ways to Learning to Love Without Sake in that the focus will be on the relationships, Bya and Renji's, Renji and Sakiko's, later Bya and Sakiko's as well as Tetsuya and Rikichi's and Tetsuya and Orochi's as an undercurrent in the story. And thanks for the good wishes. My friend saw what you wrote to me and it made her smile. That really made my day too!), DragonPrincess01 (Ah yes, tissues should be close at hand. Oh, and enjoy that new house! I hope you love it.), Chakragoddess (This one is taking over my mind so it's hard to concentrate on anything else.), Renji-Bya-Lover (The next chapter will begin to delve into how Renji and Sakiko met and how Byakuya was involved in that. I think you will really enjoy the way it plays out.), DieRedPineapple (Oh, poor Renji will need those hugs! And there is a certain taichou who will be happy to share them!), Alabirdie (Aww, thanks so much! You are too sweet.), Aria6 (I'm so glad your interest is piqued!), KingHerod (So glad to hear from you! :) I will keep the tears and angst flowing.), Irockyourworld123 (I really appreciate the good-heartedness of readers here. I love every one of you too and enjoy feeling that connection that writing and reading each other forges in us.), Yonaka Kyoki (Here you go! Another chapter to tempt you along!), and MissLilly2012 (Here you go! Hope you like it.), Enjoy, everyone! Starfire is off to write the next!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Bow your head, close your eyes. This is a holy place. Purge your body and purify your soul. Set your cleansed heart to the task at hand.**_

_**Do not hesitate.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Are you all right, Tetsuya-san?" Koji asked softly, pausing behind his elder cousin and studying their reflections in the mirror in front of them, "You look very pale. But then...this is difficult for you, I know. Will you be all right?"

"I will be fine," Tetsuya said, letting his cousin's words wash over his anxious mind and soothe him, "This is an honorable thing we are doing. Byakuya-sama wishes to honor the clan with his progeny, as the rules dictate he must. But he does not wish to marry, nor to lie down with a concubine whom he only knows casually. We are close. But we will not fall in love. I am the obvious choice for this task, no?"

"Maybe," the attendant said worriedly, "But this wears on your heart. I know that you are uncomfortable being touched sexually."

"Well, there will be no sexual touching until the mating," Tetsuya said, cutting him off gently but firmly.

"Still, _he _will be there and be touching you, even if not sexually. After what he did to you while you were imprisoned, I don't know why they have to have him there..."

"The ritual demands purification by the seated elders."

"He should never have been made a clan elder."

"When Isas died, it made Orochi the heir to his subfamily. There was no getting around it. In the eyes of the law, he was never proven to have done anything wrong."

"Pfth!" huffed Koji "Only because the council of the time was under laws that demanded a half-blood's testimony to be supported by a full blooded noble's! Everyone knows that he..."

"But the law is clear," Tetsuya said, more softly, "And if we wish our brethren to follow the law, then we, ourselves, must adhere to it."

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, wishing he could disappear out of the confines of the council hall and conceal himself beneath the surface of the large, blue lake at Kuchiki Manor, as he had done so many times in his early days there.

"Besides," he said, brightening, "We were able to get the laws changed. Mixed-blood nobles have a far better life than they used to, you know. I take pride in having been a part of that change."

"But there are still those like him who will always look down on you. And Tetsuya-san, you must always be careful because of them! I would never want anything bad to happen to you!" Koji said earnestly.

"No," Tetsuya replied, smiling and touching his attendant's hand for a moment, "Koji-san is ever devoted to my care and safety, just as he has been ever since I arrived at Kuchiki Manor...a poor, emaciated savage, who knew nothing about civilized life. You were so kind to me...you and Mai and Sadao...Aratani and Kohana. Without Byakuya-sama to rescue me and the rest of you to educate me, I would still be a savage."

"H-hardly!" Koji laughed, "You weren't that bad, Tetsuya-san. You had a few unusual habits and you scared me with your water abilities...being able to stay submerged without drowning and when you learned to use those waterforms to move about without being seen! I was sure that you would go to the Covert Ops!"

"Well, I am just as pleased at not having been allowed to serve in the military. I could never give anyone but our leader my full obedience and loyalty."

"You do give Byakuya-sama that," Koji agreed.

The two went quiet, realizing that time was growing short and it would soon be time to leave the dressing chamber. Koji swallowed hard, seeing the signs of anxiety returning.

"With your permission," he said softly.

"As you will," Tetsuya said, bowing his head and fighting to control his breathing and his pounding heart.

Koji undid the tie at his waist and carefully removed and set aside Tetsuya's dark blue house security uniform. He bared his cousin, then slipped a plain white yukata around his shoulders and fastened it in front.

"It is just another purification and preparation," Koji said bracingly, "It will be over in no time and you can relax again."

"Yes, until the next one...and the next one," Tetsuya said absently, "But eventually, we will reach a state of balance...and then..."

"Don't think on that," Koji said, wrapping his arms around Tetsuya and smiling sadly as his cousin stiffened for a moment, then very slowly returned the gesture.

"Thank you, Koji-san," Tetsuya whispered, "You always know what to say."

"I think that, with the exception of Byakuya-sama, I know Tetsuya-san the best of anyone," Koji said proudly, his green eyes shining.

His smile faded and he released Tetsuya from his embrace as a tapping sounded on the chamber door.

"It is time," a low, stately voice said through the door.

"We are coming," Koji answered, then he turned to Tetsuya, "Don't worry. I'll stay with you as always. I'll object if _he_ tries to harass you."

"I do not think he will try with so many eyes watching. But I cannot help but feel that he will try something _soon_."

"That is why you have Sadao, Mai, Aratani, Kohana, Byakuya-sama and me looking out for you, Tetsuya-san. Orochi-san may lead his subfamily, but he is not _your_ leader."

"But, he does outrank me in the clan hierarchy, and that is dangerous enough on its own," Tetsuya reminded him, falling in beside his attendant and leaving the room.

They walked down the hallway to the large double doors that led into the meeting chamber, then waited as the doors opened. They proceeded inside, where Tetsuya was met by a council attendant, who led Koji and him to one of two examination tables that had been placed in the meeting chambers.

Tetsuya swallowed hard and climbed onto the table, where he laid down and tried not to see that Byakuya was already on the examination table next to him, his yukata opened and his body bared. Tetsuya flinched as Koji and the council attendant opened his yukata as well, then stood at his shoulders in traditional guard fashion.

The head elder stood first at Byakuya's head, looking down on his bared body as the rest of the council stood along the sides of the examination table, bowing their heads and closing their eyes while the head elder breathed a prayer of blessing, then recited the words of purification. As he gave the recitation, the elders gathered around Byakuya laid their hands on his revealed flesh, focusing their reiatsu and letting it flow slowly into him. Byakuya rested quietly, only making eye contact for a moment with Orochi, to give the man a glare of warning before closing his eyes and letting words and reiatsu wash over him. He relaxed nearly to the point of sleeping as the elders' prayer and reiatsu curled around him, then gradually extended to where Tetsuya laid on the bed next to his. Slowly, the whispers of purification began again, and the elders' hands lifted from Byakuya's body and moved in Tetsuya's direction. The younger noble tensed and his heart skipped uncomfortably as the elders took their places around his naked body and laid their hands on him as they had done to Byakuya.

And although he tried not to make a sound, a soft gasp escaped him as Orochi's open hand touched his thigh. His mind shot back in time to the days he had spent in the noble's prison.

_"Stop! Please stop, Orochi-sama!" he cried, pulling at the reiatsu chains that bound him to the bed._

_But his elder cousin's rough voice only scolded him, and the hands that touched him, gripped him more tightly. He cringed as Orochi's impatient fingers invaded his body and began to prepare him._

_"I don't know why I even bother," Orochi said off-handedly, "You've been taken often enough it shouldn't be necessary."_

_"Orochi-sama, it hurts! Stop it!"_

_"Shut up, you ridiculous little whore. You have no rights. Do what you're told!"_

Tetsuya's breath caught and he clenched his teeth as he felt Orochi's eyes rake his naked flesh. He didn't dare look directly at the man, but turned his head slightly so that he could see Koji's look of encouragement. Tetsuya's heart calmed then, and he was able to ignore his wicked cousin until the ritual ended and he was allowed to stand and let Koji tie his yukata closed again. He stood silently beside Byakuya as each of the elders whispered a word or two of gratitude for what they were doing. Orochi's words were, of course, clipped and perfunctory, but he stuck to the protocol carefully to avoid angering Byakuya. Even so, as he passed through the doors and into the corridor outside the room his voice leaked back into the room.

"It's not as though any amount of purification could cleanse _that one_."

He was well accustomed to Orochi's cruelty, but standing so scantily dressed, and in front of the elders as the words were uttered, he could barely keep his composure until the elders left and Koji followed him back to the dressing room. Tears began to leak onto his face as Koji removed his yukata, and they had dribbled down onto his chest before the attendant realized.

"Tetsuya-san!" he exclaimed, taking his cousin's hand in his and brushing away the tears, "Please, Tetsuya-san, don't cry! He was only being hurtful. His words are meaningless. Don't let him get to you like this."

"I am all right," Tetsuya assured him, "I am fine. And you are right. I let him get to me when I should not. It's just being naked in front of him like that. If it weren't for the rules of the ritual, Byakuya-sama would..."

He paused as a knock sounded on the door, and then it opened to admit Byakuya. The clan leader frowned as he took in Tetsuya's deflated bearing.

"Will you excuse us, Koji?" he asked softly.

"Hai," the attendant said, bowing and exiting the room.

Tetsuya waited for Byakuya to speak, but was surprised as his cousin simply picked up Tetsuya's uniform and calmly began to dress him.

"You let that man's cruelty reach too far inside you, Tetsuya," he said quietly, "I am worried for you if this continues."

"Do not be," Tetsuya replied, "His words may sting me, but he cannot hurt me really. Not anymore, thanks to you."

Byakuya gave him a rare, and deeply comforting smile.

"Believe me, Tetsuya, you have repaid me many times over by giving me your kinship and protection. And this...this is the most beautiful of the gifts you have given me."

"I have not actually _given_ you anything yet," Tetsuya objected, blushing, "We are not yet even in balance."

"But we will be soon," Byakuya assured him, "And you will bless our clan with the heir they thought I would not have. And Orochi will be the subordinate of your own child."

"But it won't be my child really," Tetsuya said in a softer, wounded tone, "You know that concubines are not acknowledged on the heir's birth documents."

"Well, that may have been the tradition," Byakuya said bracingly, "but when push comes to shove, as it did in council this morning, the truth is there is no actual charter, note or bylaw that says that a concubine _cannot_ be named at the discretion of the clan leader. And so, you will be this child's acknowledged 'mother.' I hope that this pleases you."

Tetsuya's eyes darkened with emotion and his lips trembled softly, but he managed to hold back the tears.

"Does it please me?" Tetsuya repeated, gratitude plain in his features, "Byakuya-sama!"

It might have been unnatural, coming from anyone else, but coming from Tetsuya, the arms that wrapped around Byakuya were welcomed warmly.

"Come along now, Tetsuya," he said, once his cousin's arms finally released him, "I have a rather large task that needs doing, back at the sixth division."

"Oh. Will it keep you late then?" Tetsuya asked, regaining his poise, now that the unpleasantness of the purification ritual had passed.

"Well, this is not a task I can do myself, as I have some other duties to attend to. However, I think between you and a certain, very capable subordinate of mine, it shouldn't take long to complete," Byakuya said, smirking knowingly.

"Byakuya-sama!" Tetsuya laughed, blushing.

"You will assist Rikichi, then?"

"Of course, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya said affably, "Although I must say, I do not know if I approve of your rather obvious attempts at matchmaking while I am not yet even pregnant with your heir!"

"Well, the groundwork must be laid. And it is not as though you will forget the rules of the agreement we made."

"No, of course not. I will be mindful of my promises while I am with Rikichi-san," Tetsuya promised, "And truthfully, I do not think I would be ready for anything anyway. I feel like I cannot breathe when I encounter him. I think it will be some time before I can become relaxed with a lov...with _another man_ that way."

"But you will eventually," Byakuya said, looking down into Tetsuya's sapphire eyes, "This has been a long time in coming, Tetsuya. But you will find love again."

"I think that you will too," Tetsuya answered, turning with him to leave the room.

"Come Tetsuya," Byakuya said, leading him out into the hallway.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji placed the last of the reports into his outbox, then cleaned up his desk area and prepared to go, leaving Zabimaru in the sword stand that he had painstakingly fastened securely to the wall. He muttered a farewell to a still working Rikichi where he sat in a seat next to where Renji had been sitting at the redhead's desk, then he proceeded to the squad room door. He startled and made a sound of surprise as he opened the door and encountered Byakuya and Tetsuya, making their way inside.

"Oh...hey, Taichou, Tetsuya-san. You got back faster than expected."

"And you are leaving sooner than expected, ne?" Byakuya said archly, "Making up for arriving late by leaving early?"

"Ah...well..." Renji stammered, flushing slightly, "Everything is done and I..."

"Abarai," Byakuya said reprovingly, "After working together for as long as we have, do you mean to tell me that you do not know when I am attempting levity?"

"Oh...right!" Renji chuckled, catching himself, "Sorry, my mind is just preoccupied."

"It is fine," Byakuya said dismissively, "But before you go, may I have a word with you privately?"

"Y-yeah, sure thing, Taichou."

"In my quarters," Byakuya said, starting towards his room.

"O-kay..." Renji muttered, following.

_I hope this doesn't take long._

Byakuya led him out of the squad office and into the comfortably furnished taichou's suite, where he poured himself a serving of sake, then one for the redhead. He handed one of the drinks to Renji and sipped at the other as Renji sat down on the sofa and looked up at him questioningly.

"Renji, I think that we need to speak about what is going on. I respect your privacy, of course, but it is affecting your work. If there is something troubling you and you need time to address it or..."

"Look, I am really, really sorry I've been late a few times. I just...I have been kinda distracted by something personal, something I've been trying to deal with."

"Would you like to take some leave time?" the noble offered, "Rikichi and Tetsuya can certainly assist and protect me capably so that you could..."

"No, Taichou!" Renji exclaimed, "I mean, I am kinda stretched, trying to manage everything, but I just don't feel comfortable with..."

"With allowing other people to look after me? Renji, we discussed this. The war has ended and I am not even on combat duty. I am not accompanying anyone on any missions and spend my time sitting at my desk. Certainly, you can take a few days to see to whatever is troubling you. And, Renji, you should allow me to offer what assistance I can."

"No!" Renji shouted, looking terrified for a moment, then catching himself and scrambling to minimize the damage, "I mean...it's okay, Taichou. It's just, this is private, and I really do have to deal with it on my own."

"Does Rukia know about this?" Byakuya asked, "Are you at least confiding in her?"

Renji's blush deepened and he looked down at the floor, struggling for words.

"It is not my business, of course," the noble went on, "But with as many friends as you have supporting you, I would find it odd if you chose not to confide in any of them."

"Look, I promise, I'm fine. It will be fine. I'll be on time tomorrow and..."

Byakuya shook his head firmly.

"You are on leave until such time as you have..."

"I can't!" Renji said desperately, "I have a job to do...a really important job here."

"And I told you that I am not even on active duty. I am sitting at a desk and I have other capable people to look after my needs. Renji, this obsession with my safety, as much as it is appreciated, is not necessary. I have overlooked it as much as I can, but it is getting out of hand. Effective immediately, you are on leave."

Renji's eyes met the noble's stubbornly and Byakuya's eyes widened in surprise at the words that followed.

"I'm sorry. I can't obey that order, Taichou."

Byakuya stared into his subordinate's defiant eyes, unable to think of a response.

"Taichou, I get that you're trying to help me, and that is really very kind of you. But there is no way in hell that I am going on leave right now. I can't do that. I just can't. Call it an obsession if you want, but after how near you came to _dying right in front of me_..."

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"So...what you are really saying...is that you think that I cannot fight my own battles. Is that it, Renji? Have you never been defeated in battle and nearly died before? You think that because I was not able to overcome that quincy the first time we fought..."

"No...it's just, you _are_ without your powers right now. And no matter how many people are watching out for you, there is only one person whose responsibility that is when you walk in those doors. I failed you in the worst way, Taichou, and I am having a hell of a time forgiving myself for that. So please, don't ask me to let someone else do that. I will not be late again. I promise. But, I do have to go now. There is someone waiting for me."

Byakuya looked up at him again and nodded briefly.

"Go then," he said solemnly, "but you are still on leave."

"What? Taichou, no, I..."

"If you refuse to take time off as long as I am here, you leave me with no choice but to go on leave, myself."

"We can't _both _go on leave."

"Why not? It is a time of peace and our unit is on home duty, the least demanding detail, while I am recovering. And not to forget, the last time I checked, I was the taichou and you were my subordinate. If you have forgotten that, I am more than willing to pick up my sword and remind you of why, powers or no, I am the commander of this squad."

Renji found himself unable to fend off a smile.

"It's okay. I get it," he chuckled, stealing a glance at the noble's glaring eyes and feeling a lovely, familiar twinge inside, "I'll take some time off. I only need a couple of days."

"Very well," Byakuya said, draining the last of his sake and setting the glass down, "Go then. I will see you in a few days."

Byakuya felt a deep warmth overtake him at the redhead's genuine look of gratitude.

"Thank you, Taichou. Take care of yourself, okay?"

Byakuya gave him a dismissive look.

"Get out of here, Renji."

"All right," Renji laughed, sounding more like himself than he had since before the war, "I'm going!"

He finished the last swallow of the sake that Byakuya had given him, then left the noble's quarters. Byakuya watched him go, then sat down on the sofa, thinking about the words they had exchanged.

_He is still too burdened over that first battle with As Nodt. He just cannot seem to forgive himself, despite the fact that none of us could have foreseen what those monsters were going to do to us. And now, he is taxed by the illness of his friend, and I gather from his reaction that he is not confiding this in his friends._

_I wonder why that is..._

He considered the question for several long minutes, pouring himself another drink and consuming it slowly. After finishing the drink and setting the glass down, he summoned two hell butterflies.

"Memo to the first division...sixth division leave notes. Effective tomorrow, the taichou of the sixth division will be on recuperative leave and the fukutaichou will be on personal leave. Third seat Rikichi and fourth seat Ryuu will assume responsibility for the division for the duration."

He let the first hell butterfly go, then observed the second quietly for a moment.

"I want you to track Abarai Renji," he said softly, "Show me to where he has gone."

_The lengths I must go to, to compensate for having no powers..._

He came to his feet and followed the hell butterfly out of his quarters, stopping briefly to set Rikichi and Tetsuya to the task he had planned for them. He watched the two for a moment, enjoying the shyness and politeness in their interactions.

_But Tetsuya looks more content than I have ever seen him. Yes, he begins to look as though he is ready to love again. I am glad for him. He has been alone for a long time._

He ignored completely the fact that he had been alone for much of that time also.

Leaving the sixth division, Byakuya followed the hell butterfly through the streets and out the main gate, into the Rukongai. He hadn't gone very far beyond the gate, when the hell butterfly emitted a soft beeping sound, telling the noble that they were near the redhead's current position. Byakuya looked at the building that the insect had honed in on and frowned.

"Who lives there?" he asked softly.

The hell butterfly made a series of soft clicks and beeps, then glowed briefly.

"The residence is rented to a commoner named Sakiko," the hell butterfly told him, "She is currently unemployed, but was, until recently, a prostitute."

_Renji's 'sick friend' is a prostitute?_


	3. Reflection

**Chapter 3: Reflection**

**(My humble gratitude to AnimeBookLover14 (Awww! *hugs* We all go through those rough times. Gosh, do I know what that's like! It's good to not feel alone in our troubles, but I sincerely hope you feel happier again soon! I am glad the story is giving you an outlet. I work off some tears each time I work on it. It is really therapeutic.), Caitriona695 (I considered the fact that the hell butterflies carry messages and probably are managed by the second or twelfth division so might be able to access or carry intelligence to troops in the field...just a little helpful extension that seemed to make sense. Ah yes, Renji's background with Sakiko will come out slowly and there will be touching scenes as well as gentle remembrances to move things along.), KingHerod (Aww, thanks! You are too sweet. I think Bya knows Renji pretty well and will think before making conclusions, and Byakuya will learn more soon!), Skrut180 (I am so glad you like it! :) Enjoy the new chappie!), Toshiruki forever (Oh, but they are such good listeners! ;) *giggles*), TomyAllen (Aww, thanks! Yup, the ones like this do give readers a change to dig into the characters and feel more with them. I should write more like this! Erm...after I finish a few! lol), Mina Kye (Thanks so much for the encouragement. My friend is still hospitalized, and they are trying really hard to stabilize the situation with her lungs, but they keep filling with fluid and having to be drained. She's having so many invasive tests and procedures and having trouble sleeping. But through it all, she is so strong. I am too until I get in my car to drive home. I'm glad it's a hundred miles, so I have time to turn up the radio and get the raw emotion out on the way home.), Firebirdever (Ah yes, Rikichi! He is around eighteen or nineteen in this and still adorable! I love him and wish Kubo would include him more!), DieRedPineapple (Good reflections! I did make the assumption here that as hell butterflies carry messages, they could carry intel too. As for Renji and Sakiko, she is a prostitute, but things are not as simple between them as they look. We will get an up close look at how they met and why he is so grateful to her. And Bya knows Renji well enough to suspect things are more complicated than Renji seeing a prostitute. He will struggle with how to help his fukutaichou, and will take some interesting actions.), Renji-Bya-Lover (Heheh, I don't think Tetsuya really wants to go through with it either. That part of the story will take a very interesting turn, so no worries! I think you will enjoy what happens.), and MissLilly2012 (Oh yes, this will take some interesting turns!), Enjoy the chapter!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**We cannot help but see truth in our reflection. Loved or reviled, it simply is. I look into the glass, reach out and touch your fingertips. They are warm, but slowly growing colder.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_Renji's 'sick friend' is a prostitute?_

Byakuya frowned thoughtfully.

_I do not sense disruptions or swells of reistsu that would indicate a powerful man like Renji having sexual relations. The reiatsu around here is quiet...quite serene. This is something else, then._

He chided himself inwardly for thinking for a moment that someone like Renji would use a woman for sex.

_Renji is surrounded by beautiful people, many friends and people, male and female, who would like to be more than friends. In addition to that, he has a strong moral code that grew within him while he was a street child in Inuzuri. During our training, he told me..._

Byakuya's mind went back to a warm day in the training grounds at the sixth division.

_He watched with a pleased expression as Renji sheathed his sword, his handsomely tattooed and attractively sweating chest still heaving from the exertion of their sparring._

_"You do realize that you might have beaten me if you had taken advantage of that moment when the barricade fell and distracted me."_

_"Yeah," the redhead acknowledged, brushing a cluster of damp red hairs away from his face, "But it wouldn't have been right."_

_Byakuya sighed softly._

_"You have a strong moral code," he commented, "It is commendable, but you must remember that it will make you vulnerable at times."_

_"You're not telling me to be more ruthless," Renji mused._

_"I am telling you to be aware. I feel that this is something that has been ingrained deeply on your code of ethics. Perhaps someone you respected taught you this, or maybe something that happened to you made you think this way. But whichever it is, this is a strong compulsion."_

_Renji stood quietly for a moment, gazing at the noble and panting softly. Finally, he nodded._

_"The kids in Inuzuri usually fell into two groups," the redhead explained, "There were those who were savage and who believed in taking what they could and survival of the fittest. There were others of us who felt differently. And we lived by three rules. Take care of people who are weaker than you. Don't hit girls. And...fight honestly. If you can't win honestly, then you don't deserve to win."_

_So...he is, perhaps, taking care of this woman?" _Byakuya wondered inwardly_, "They must know each other, maybe from Inuzuri. But she was 'until recently' a prostitute. Does this mean that Renji convinced her to leave that life and is caring for her? Does he worry, then, that people will judge him for that? Or...is it something else?_

He jumped and caught his breath in surprise as soft equine breath tickled his ear and neck. He turned his head and found himself gazing up at the lovely, quizzical face of his cousin's black Arabian stallion.

"Arashi!" he mused, shaking his head, "Did Tetsuya tell you to follow me?"

_He doesn't like you going out alone and unguarded without your powers, _the stallion's wispy voice whispered into his mind, _I am only respecting his wishes._

"That is fine, but do attempt to be discreet. I do not want Renji to know I am here. My reiatsu is low and he is not very sensitive to it anyway, but you are more obvious."

Arashi made a sound of assent and invoked Tetsuya's shikai power, making his body take on a watery, transparent composition. He stepped back into the bushes, disappearing from view. Byakuya watched silently, but then hastened to the stallion's side again.

"Arashi, I know that Tetsuya's power allows you to include others. Can you use that power to allow me to enter that house?"

_That depends. Why do you ask this of me? You are a person of character, so why do you wish to enter someone's home without permission?_

"Something is weighing heavily on Renji's heart. He has been acting strangely, coming to work late and leaving early. He has been clumsy and out of sorts...short tempered with himself..."

_You are worried about him?_

Byakuya swallowed hard, considering the connotations of the question.

"Yes."

_And you think that breaking and entering and disrespecting the boundaries between you is the right thing to do?_

Byakuya let out a frustrated breath and reconsidered.

"I am just...worried about him. And I wonder what is weighing on him."

_Have you asked him?_

"He won't tell me."

_And so, you are invading his privacy?_

"I do not want Renji to suffer," Byakuya said insistently, "If you do not want to help me, that is fine."

He went quiet and shrank into the bushes as Renji emerged from the house and stood on the front porch for a moment, reaching up with a hand to rub at his eyes.

_Renji is crying?_

_What is going on here?_

He moved further into the bushes as a familiar looking man emerged from the house and approached the unhappy looking redhead.

"She's worse, right?" he asked softly, "The treatment you tried didn't help?"

"I am afraid not," the elderly man answered solemnly.

_Michio?_ Byakuya thought, remembering the old healer from Inuzuri.

"I know it was expected," Renji said haltingly, "But...I thought we had more time, you know?"

"I told you that there were no guarantees on how long it would be. Renji-san, you have been an angel to her...getting her out of Inuzuri, renting this place and trying everything to help her be healed. She could not ask for a better friend."

"I couldn't believe it when Inoue couldn't even heal her," Renji mused sadly.

"Ah, yes," Michio replied, nodding, "Her reject power failed because of the insidious path this disease takes."

"That's what she told me," Renji affirmed, "She said that because the disease invades the cells and corrupts them from inside, it changes them so that they can't go back. Then, those cells invade others and corrupt them. Rejecting only slows the progress by reverting the affected cells to what they were when they were first infected. It can't make them normal again."

"Because when they change states, they change in nature," Michio acknowledged, "So, now her own body is slowly destroying itself. I am so sorry. Inoue Orihime and I will continue to do what we can to prolong her life, but we cannot save her."

"I know," Renji said, tears rising in his eyes again, "It's just that...you know...I really owe her. She was there for me at a time when things were really bad, you know?"

"Yes."

"I had a lot of confusing feelings about my taichou, and Sakiko was a good listener. She helped me think things through. I think that I would have gone off the deep end if it hadn't been for her. Shit just got so crazy...and after the war, everyone else seemed to go back to normal, but for some reason, I just couldn't."

Renji caught his breath softly and stared as Michio's hands captured his and the old man looked up into his teary eyes.

"You will feel normal again someday, Renji-san. But while this goes on, you need to have someone there for you. Have you told anyone besides Orihime?"

"Huh..." Renji huffed, letting a tear roll down his face, "I can't. I mean, it's not like I'm worried about my reputation. It's just that some people would be judgmental about her past as a prostitute. I don't want people saying bad things about her. She's my friend and I don't give a shit what she used to do. If she hadn't been who she was, she wouldn't have been able to help me."

"But Renji-san," the healer objected, "You know that your friends in Karakura Town wouldn't react that way. Ichigo-san is a good boy and his friends are very loyal and friendly. And you need someone..."

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. Look, uh, I have to go home and get a few hours of sleep. I'll be back to see her again all day tomorrow."

"Then, you will likely see me again," Michio concluded, "Take care of yourself."

The old man reached into his satchel and searched around for a moment, then pulled out and brown paper bag and handed it to Renji.

"What is this?" Renji asked, frowning curiously, "You giving away your dinner?"

"Noa made your favorite meat pies."

"She made that for you," Renji said, trying to hand the bag back.

"I am going home now," Michio answered, refusing the bag, "I can eat another when I get there. Go on, Renji-san. I know you are not caring for yourself."

"Eh..." the redhead said, coloring slightly, "Yeah, I guess. It's hard to think about that."

"I know. But that girl needs you to keep your strength up. She doesn't have anyone else to look after her."

"All right," Renji sighed, smiling at the old man and accepting the bag, "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow."

Byakuya stood silently, watching with sad eyes as Renji walked away. He thought back through what he had overheard.

_He said that she helped him...and that what was weighing on him before had to do with me._

He looked around and spotted the healer walking back in the direction of Inuzuri. The area around the house grew quiet, and the light slowly began to fade as night approached. Byakuya considered his options carefully, then looked back at Arashi.

"I think you were right to caution me before," he said softly to the stallion, "It would be wrong to sneak around to get information. This is a difficult situation. And I think I really must do something. But..."

He felt a stab of remembered pain pass through him as he looked at Sakiko's dwelling and thought about what to do. His thoughts scattered as the door to the house opened and a woman wrapped warmly in a cloak and hood stepped out onto the porch, heading for a comfortable porch swing. A few steps short of it, she paused, swaying slightly and looking as though she might fall.

Byakuya reacted instantly, flash stepping to the woman and catching her as she collapsed.

"Oh!" she gasped, grabbing onto his arm for support and leaning against him as he helped her to sit down in a chair near the porch swing.

"It is all right," Byakuya assured her, "You are safe now. Do you need me to find a healer for you?"

He froze as the woman's head turned and she drew back the hood that had been covering her face. In silence, he took in the fine lines of her face, the raven black hair and wide, lovely gray eyes that looked dangerously like his own. From a distance away and with her shapely breasts concealed, she could have passed for him.

The girl looked up at him curiously, studying his face as he had studied hers. A slow smile touched her pale lips and her eyes brightened.

"You are _him_," she said breathlessly, "You are Renji-san's taichou...Kuchiki Byakuya!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Thanks for helping out, Kuchiki-san," Rikichi said, smiling at Tetsuya as the noble finished with the last of the papers in front of him, "That would have taken me a whole night to do on my own and Kuchiki taichou needed it done as soon as possible."

"I was glad to help," Tetsuya assured him, relieved that after several hours, he had managed to untie his tongue and talk to the other young man, "And you needn't be so formal. Tetsuya will be fine."

"Thanks for helping, Tetsuya-san," Rikichi said, smiling, "I don't know about you, but I am starving."

"Yes, I've worked up quite an appetite myself," Tetsuya admitted, "I had best be going if I want to be back at the manor in time for dinner."

He registered suddenly the tiny flash of disappointment that registered in Rikichi's brown eyes and felt a jolt of uncertainty.

_I have...offended him somehow?_

"Well, have a good evening, Tetsuya-san," Rikichi said, turning towards the squad kitchen.

Tetsuya tried to think of something to say, but found his tongue tied all over again. He had little choice but to watch as Rikichi walked away, leaving him alone in the office. He thought briefly about following Rikichi, but wasn't sure how the other young man would respond to such a thing. Instead, he loosed a soft, unhappy sigh and left the sixth division. He started to whistle for Arashi, then remembered that he had sent the stallion to watch over Byakuya. He continued home on foot, his eyes lowered as he thought over what had happened.

_I wonder if he wanted me to ask him to dinner, _Tetsuya mused inwardly, _Or if maybe he was leading up to asking me to stay for dinner at the division. Maybe he wanted to cook together. Curse me for being so stupid about this! I just don't know what to do when I'm around him. Naoki and I were friends for several years before we noticed each other sexually. But...I don't even know if Rikichi-san would like me that way. It is so complicated!_

"What are _you_ doing, wandering around in the dark?" a mocking voice asked suddenly.

Tetsuya scowled.

"What do you want?" he asked, giving his cousin an annoyed glare.

Orochi looked around, his black eyes glinting.

"Where is that flea-bitten nag of yours? I don't sense him."

Tetsuya realized suddenly that they were standing on a nearly deserted street, and stepped back to give himself some distance from the other man. Orochi ran his fingers through his black, slicked back hair and smiled slyly.

"Get away from me!" Tetsuya said shortly, trying to move past the other man.

He inhaled in surprise as a hand wrapped firmly around his wrist and Orochi shoved him into a dark alley, just off the street.

"What are you doing? Let go of me!" Tetsuya cried, trying to tear his hand free, "Orochi-san!"

Orochi's eyes darkened with anger, and his hand tightened on Tetsuya's captured wrist. Tetsuya felt a shiver of foreboding as Orochi's lips moved and several devastatingly familiar words sounded.

_Damn it!_

_The submission command spell from the prison!_

Instantly, as the suppression spell was uttered, Tetsuya's limbs froze and though his mind screamed, his eyes looked up into his cousin's submissively, waiting for his order.

_I have to move!_

_Please...please move!_

Orochi gave him a cruel smile.

"That's better, isn't it?" he said, moving forward and trapping Tetsuya's body between his own body and the stone wall, "You're so much more pleasant this way."

Tetsuya's blood turned to ice in his veins as Orochi's invasive hands slipped beneath his clothing and sought his warm, soft privates.

"N-no!" Tetsuya panted, straining against the binding spell, "S-stop!"

Orochi scowled and wrapped a hand tightly around his throat.

"Be quiet!" he hissed, "And do what you're told! On your knees."

Still unable to break free, Tetsuya was dragged down onto his knees, facing his elder cousin. Orochi moved closer again and sank his fingers into Tetsuya's silken hair. With his other hand, he bared his already aroused privates and guided his thick, wet member to the younger shinigami's trembling lips.

"You were always quite good at this," Orochi sneered, "Go ahead. Suck."

Tetsuya winced as Orochi's fingers twisted in his hair.

"If you bite, I'll cut your throat," he said warningly, looking around to make sure they were still alone.

Orochi's powerful scent drifted over Tetsuya's dulled senses, sending a shudder of revulsion through him. He renewed his resistance and managed to pull free. Still rubbery from the binding spell, his legs gave way as he tried to rise, and he fell at his cousin's feet.

"Insolent peasant!" Orochi hissed, grabbing his hair and dragging him back onto his knees, "Obey me at once!"

"N-n-no!" Tetsuya panted, sweat breaking out on his forehead, "Get...ah...away from me! You have no right, e...especially while I am undergoing purification!"

"You pure?" Orochi snarled, "Don't make me laugh!"

"Bastard, stop it!" Tetsuya cried, struggling.

He reeled as his cousin's fist connected with his cheek, taking him roughly to the ground. Orochi dropped down on top of him and began to move his clothing aside to bare him.

"Hey!" cried a youthful, male voice from the end of the alley, "What are you doing to Tetsuya-san?"

Careful to keep his head turned, so as not to be seen, Orochi glared down at his stunned cousin.

"Don't you dare tell anyone!" he hissed, sending a powerful jolt of disruptive kido through him.

He flash stepped away as the shinigami who had yelled at him reached Tetsuya's side.

"Tetsuya-san!"

"R-ri..ki..." Tetsuya managed, beginning to lose consciousness.

"Don't worry, Tetsuya-san," Rikichi said, kneeling at his side, "He's gone. I'm gonna get you to the fourth division."

"N-no!" Tetsuya managed, fighting to remain conscious, "I...don't want anyone to..."

"But you're hurt!"

"I'm all right," Tetsuya whispered, closing his eyes against the pain as he held on to Rikichi and the other young man helped him to his feet.

His ears rang loudly and his legs shook warningly, but he managed to lean against Rikichi and stumble along as the young man led him back to the sixth division.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the fourth?" Rikichi asked, "Whoever that was beat you up a little. I'm not a great healer, but I could help, I suppose."

Tetsuya mumbled a few words of gratitude, then fell quiet as Rikichi coaxed him into the squad six building and back to the third seat's quarters. Rikichi left him dressed, but tucked him into bed, then leaned over him and healed what cuts and bruises he found. Tetsuya laid quietly on his back, looking up through dazed eyes as Rikichi looked down at him and smiled.

"Is that better?" he asked.

"Yes," Tetsuya replied softly, "Thank you, Rikichi-san."

"It's okay," the younger man assured him, "You look a little better. I'm going to go and make us some tea, okay?"

Tetsuya nodded wordlessly and closed his eyes again, succumbing quickly to sleep.

Rikichi returned a short time later, bearing a tea tray with hot green tea and a little bit of food.

"I thought that you might be hungry," he said, smiling, "since you didn't even get home before you got grabbed by that guy. Who was that guy anyway? It was lucky that I found I was out of milk and decided to go to the..."

He broke off, blinking as he realized that the very comely young noble had fallen asleep in his bed. Chuckling softly to himself, Rikichi ate some of the food and drank his cup of tea, while stealing glances at Tetsuya's sweet, tranquil sleeping face. When he was done, he selected a sleeping yukata and went into the bathroom to change. Upon emerging, he noted that Tetsuya was still deeply asleep, and he curled up on the far side of the bed, sleeping on his stomach with his head turned so that he could check on his sleeping friend during the night. He turned out the lights and drifted off to sleep, smiling at the light, gentle sakura scent that reached out from Tetsuya's sleeping form and teased his senses.

"Good night, Tetsuya-san," he whispered, "Sleep well."


	4. Warmth

**Chapter 4: Warmth**

**(Thanks to everyone who read, and especially those who reviewed even though ff went on the fritz the other day. Grr! Just like this site to pull that, but it's fixed, thank goodness. Anyway, thanks going out to Moegi (Ah, you will get your wish! Interesting things will happen as Byakuya and Sakiko get to know each other. And thanks so much for the good wishes for my friend and me. She is hanging in there, although she is not strong enough yet to go home from the hospital. Hopefully, she will be soon.), Firebirdever (Ah yes, that Orochi is a devil, but lucky Tetsuya to have Rikichi show up to help! And the interactions between Byakuya and Sakiko will be telling!), ToshirukiForever (No worries! :) And Sakiko will get some relief from her pain, even though she can't be healed.), Renji-Bya-Lover (Renji is in a bad way and I know just the person to help him out! :) Rikichi and Tetsuya are cute and shy with each other and that balances some of the seriousness. I need that right now!), KingHerod (Yeah, things are scary and Renji and Byakuya will really be challenged dealing with Sakiko's condition. But as she moves forward, she will try to help the two find resolution.), TomyAllen (Yes, Renji would be floored to know the object of his affections overheard what amounts to a confession. It will make things interesting, to be sure! And Rikichi and Tetsuya will share some fun interactions while also dealing with Orochi's interference.), MissLilly2012 (Ah yes, Sakiko is the kind of friend everyone finds themselves needing in times of great confusion!), and CallMeSenseiKuchiki (Yes, Sakiko's appearance will definitely have ramifications in the story!). Enjoy the chapter! Love, Starfire) **

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Like the late afternoon sun on a lake's surface, so is the warmth of your soul where it meets mine.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_Ah, it's warm._

_I don't remember ever feeling a warmth inside like this._

_What is it?_

Rikichi opened his eyes and felt a beautiful, shocked twinge pass through his body, leaving a weak feeling in his legs and an uncontrollable flutter somewhere in his chest.

_Oh!_

He couldn't seem to make himself stop staring, let alone actually move. Small, tumbled strands of wavy black hair tickled his cheek and the side of his neck near where a gentle weight rested on his shoulder. And that sweetly warm weight laid across his chest and abdomen, resting lightly on top of him and extending all of the way downward. He breathed in and was graced with the light, pretty scent of sakura. And the glimpse he saw through the wispy strands of hair of a pale, lovely male face relaxed in sleep and dreaming was enchanting enough that it left him with that wonderful stunned feeling so that all he could do was lie helplessly and stare.

_Tetsuya-san..._

_What do I do?_

He wasn't sure how they had met in the middle of the bed or found their way into each other's arms. All he was sure of was that being that way left him lightheaded and unable to make himself move.

_What do I do?_

_Tetsuya-san will be embarrassed if I wake him like this. I am sure that it happened by accident. Ah, but it feels really good and so very warm! But, what will he think of me if he finds me staring and knows that I found us this way and didn't do anything?_

_Maybe I should just go back to sleep._

_Maybe, if I just go back to sleep, we will pull away from each other while we sleep._

But even though he could make his eyes close, they still saw that enchanting, wonderful sight of Kuchiki Tetsuya resting comfortably on his chest and shoulder, looking blissfully content there.

_He is so beautiful. He is quiet, even when he is awake...polite, kind...and even though he is very powerful, he is gentle._

_Ah, being close to him like this makes me feel so dizzy..._

Rikichi felt something unbearably soft touching the fingertips of one hand and moved them just a little, causing the young man in his arms to stir very slightly and sigh sleepily. He thought his heart might explode out of his chest, it was pounding so hard and he could feel he was blushing and beginning to break out in a sweat.

_So very warm!_ he thought, quivering.

His fingers moved of their own accord, where they had woven themselves into the silken strands of Tetsuya's hair and Tetsuya sighed softly again and turned his head slightly, bringing their lips close together. Rikichi froze, wide-eyed as, still sleeping, Tetsuya planted a very soft kiss on his startled friend's mouth. He thought he must have made a sound, but he couldn't have known for sure, as stunned as he was when Tetsuya's large, sapphire eyes opened and found his.

XXXXXXXXXX

"You are Renji-san's taichou, Kuchiki Byakuya!" Sakiko breathed, looking up into the surprised gray eyes of the handsome man who had kept her from falling.

"I am Kuchiki Byakuya," the noble confirmed, still staring in confusion.

"I am Sakiko," the girl said, relaxing into the chair he had guided her to, "But, why are you here, Kuchiki-sama?"

Byakuya hesitated for a moment, then quietly accepted the woman's gestured invitation to sit down in a chair near to the one she occupied. He considered the question and decided that in this case, honesty seemed the best policy.

"I was concerned about Renji. He has been acting oddly lately...coming to work late, behaving clumsily and not taking care of himself," he explained, "I gave him some time off to address his situation, but was still bothered by his behavior, so I decided to go and speak to him. I sensed he was near here and came this way looking for him."

"Ah, but even though you found him, it seems you changed your mind about speaking to him, ne?" Sakiko observed, "Why is that, Kuchiki-sama?"

"Byakuya," he corrected her solemnly, "And you are?"

"Sakiko. I am his friend."

"I see," Byakuya replied, studying her face for a moment, "You look weary, Sakiko-san. Would you like me to help you back inside so we can talk there?"

Sakiko smiled in a way that made him feel like a child caught in a lie.

"Is that your way of saying that you do not wish to be seen talking to me, Byakuya-sama?" she said coyly, "Do not worry. I understand your concern."

"I am not concerned about who else might see me speaking with you, but I do not wish for Renji to know right now," he explained.

"Oh?" she said, accepting his hand as he rose again and offered it.

He helped her to her feet and they turned back into the small house together. His eyes took in the simple, but elegant decor as they proceeded through the entry to a room that overlooked a lush, forested area and a large blue lake. Sakiko slid into a comfortable chair set in front of a huge bay window and Byakuya met her eyes questioningly.

"Would you like me to make us some tea?" he asked.

"Thank you, Byakuya-sama," she replied, nodding and gesturing in the direction of the kitchen.

Sakiko gazed out the window as she waited for the noble to return, her mind replaying what she had learned about the man from Abarai Renji.

_"It's strange," the redhead said, gazing out into the dusty street and running his eyes over the rundown buildings, "When I first met Taichou, I never pictured him setting foot in a place like this. Of course, I didn't know then about his wife. I mean, I knew she was a commoner and that she died the year before Taichou adopted Rukia into the family. I even knew that Rukia looked like her. But no one knew then that they were sisters. We didn't learn that until Taichou was injured during Aizen Sousuke's betrayal and he thought he might be dying, so he told Rukia the story. I was unconscious and didn't hear him tell it, but Rukia told me after."_

_"And that was when it began?"_

_"Yeah. It started out as just emotions...mixed feelings about what I had done. You know, I vilified him. I thought of him as my enemy, even when all the guy had done was to adopt my friend, to offer her a better life. I hated him. I really did...because he took her away from me like that. I judged that he was just some rich, powerful guy and I didn't even wonder why he'd really taken Rukia in like that. All I thought about was that he'd taken her away and that because of his kindness in doing that, I couldn't even speak to her for forty years. I wanted to hurt him for that. I wanted to get really strong so that I could beat him down and take her back. I just didn't get at all who he really is. I screwed things up so badly that by the time I realized what I was doing, we were in the healing center, recovering from our wounds and I was thinking that he was going to have me transferred. And I deserved it, you know? But, the thing is...I didn't want to leave him then. After I knew why he had adopted Rukia, then why he had supported her execution...and that in the end, he was willing to die to protect her...once I understood all of that, I thought that I could let go of my hatred for him and just move on. But then, my feelings for him seemed to morph into something else."_

"Thank you," Sakiko said softly, accepting a cup of hot green tea from Byakuya's hand.

She took a sip and smiled.

"I didn't know that you could make tea so well," she said, looking amused, "Being that you have never actually made your own tea in Renji's presence, but always had him make it."

Byakuya felt an odd twinge inside as she observed him quietly and took several more sips of the tea.

"You like being 'cared for,' don't you?"

Byakuya frowned.

"Gomen nasai, what do you mean? Do you think I like ordering people around?" he asked, an edge of defensiveness in his voice.

"Not at all," the woman said, still smiling at him, "I said that you like feeling 'cared for.' That is different from 'being spoiled' or 'ordering people around.' It is not meant to offend you, just an observation."

"You know quite a lot about me," Byakuya said, taking a sip of his own tea, "Did Renji tell you these things?"

Sakiko turned her head to look out over the lake.

"Renji has confided some things, yes. But some things you have revealed to me, yourself, just in the time you have been here."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," the woman confirmed, setting her teacup on the table beside her chair, "And what you have revealed to me makes me feel that I must ask a favor of you. I know you are a stranger to me, but you obviously care about Renji-san, as do I. And you are in a position to help him, as I am not."

"Because of the state of your health?" Byakuya asked, "As I arrived, I did hear Renji speaking about it with Michio of Inuzuri."

"I know that I am dying," Sakiko said with surprising calm, "And this is why Renji-san has assisted me as he has. It is why he is so troubled. We are close friends and it is difficult for both of us, knowing what is in our not so distant future."

"And this compels you to ask something of me?" Byakuya inquired, "What is it that you need, Sakiko-san? Whatever comfort you need, I will certainly provide."

"There is no power that can save my life," Sakiko acknowledged, her gray eyes holding his steadily, "so while I live, I want to make sure that the people I care about are taken care of. But Renji-san needs something that I cannot give him, and it is exactly this that I will ask of you for him."

"And what is that?"

Sakiko's eyes closed for a moment.

"For some time now, Renji has come to me to unburden himself. There is something that has troubled him for a long time, and I think that you are the one in the best position to help him come to terms with it."

"I don't understand," the noble said, shaking his head, "Renji has many friends, better friends than me. Why would you think that I would be able to help them where they could not?"

Sakiko smiled warmly at Byakuya.

"That is not something I can explain to you, Byakuya-sama," she said, looking up into his eyes, "But if you want to know the answer to that question, you will find it if you choose to help Renji-san."

"I will do what I can," Byakuya promised readily, "but there will be little I can do if Renji does not ask me for help or does not accept it if I offer it. And when I have sought to learn what was bothering him, he has made no effort to confide in me. If he chooses that path, then what am I to do? I can reach out, but it is up to Renji whether or not he accepts."

Sakiko laughed softly, making Byakuya's heart catch as he was suddenly reminded of his late wife.

"Byakuya-sama, if Renji-san will not come to you and he tries to pull away when you offer your assistance, then you must help him without saying that is what you are doing."

Her dark eyes narrowed slightly.

"From what I know, Byakuya-sama is an _expert_ in caring for people without them knowing that is what he is doing."

Byakuya blinked slowly, letting the words sink in.

"You think that if I find ways to offer him comfort, without being overt, he will open up to me?"

"I think that Renji-san already wants to open up to you. But he has to first understand his own emotions and come to terms with them. You can help him best by positioning yourself close to him and being there for him as I grow closer to meeting my fate."

"And remaining close to him will cause him to confide in me?"

"I cannot say," Sakiko said, looking amused, "My ability is not in telling the future, but in reading people and then giving them what they need."

"Not what they _want_?" Byakuya asked, not quite knowing why.

"If I had given Renji-san what he _wanted_ when we met, then we would not be friends. I was good at my profession because while excelling in physical comforts, I was even more proficient in the more elusive art of healing hearts."

"And Renji's heart was in need of healing, even before this?" Byakuya asked, frowning.

Sakiko chuckled softly.

"I would say that Renji-san has been in need of heart healing since the day he first crossed your path, Kuchiki Byakuya."

Byakuya caught his breath softly.

"Because I took Rukia from his life?" he inquired, "But, I thought that after our battle, he forgave me for that. He never came out and said the words, of course, but he did act as though he had forgiven me. Are you telling me that he did not?"

"I am telling you that it was not 'getting Rukia back' that would heal Renji-san's heart. His confusion and heartbreak do not have to do with Rukia, but with you, Byakuya-sama."

"I know that Renji looks up to me. I have acted as a mentor to him, assisting him with acquiring increased skill. That is what he said that he wanted. And I will continue to train with him, once my powers are returned. But...how will this heal Renji's heart? If it has not helped to this point, then what good does it do to continue that way?"

"Perhaps you need to change the way you interact with Renji-san," Sakiko suggested, "If you are not powerful and you cannot offer your expertise and battle knowledge, then offer something simpler."

Byakuya considered the suggestion quietly for several minutes, then nodded in acceptance.

"I will do what I can for Renji, although at the moment, I have no idea what I could offer him. But...I do have something I can offer you, Sakiko-san."

"Oh?" the woman said, looking at him curiously.

Byakuya leaned forward and placed a hand on her forehead, invoking a softly spoken sleep kido. He watched as she relaxed in the chair and closed her eyes, succumbing to the sleep spell almost instantly.

"This helped Hisana, not to live longer, but to feel stronger and to be able to have a better quality of life, while she lived. I apologize for taking you off guard, but it is a forbidden technique. Still, if it brings you comfort, then I will take the sin of using it onto my soul."

He went quiet then and placed a hand over her heart, reaching down into the well of strength in his own body and stealing away a small portion.

"The sharing of life force is not the same as the sharing of the reiatsu we wield. Life force protects our ability to endure, to function amidst the challenges to our bodies. It is found deeper in the soul and it restores itself much more slowly. But given in small quantities, it can ease your suffering and bolster your strength. Let this be my way of repaying you for the comfort you have given Renji in his struggles."

He reeled for a moment at the initial shock of the exchange, then felt intense hunger well up as the small portion of his life force bled slowly out of him and entered the dying woman's resting form. Instantly, her face relaxed and her sleep deepened. Byakuya sat back for a moment, fighting off dizziness and hunger. Then, he rose and lifted Sakiko out of the chair, carried her to her bedroom and laid her comfortably in bed.

"Sleep well, Sakiko-san," he said softly, closing the door to her room.

He left the house and walked slowly back to the Seireitei gates, his mind replaying their exchange of words, and focusing deeply on what it was that he could offer Renji that would help him most. He was so intent in his thoughts, he failed to see the object of those thoughts when he appeared on the street ahead of him and spotted him.

Byakuya paused in his walking for a moment, realizing suddenly that weariness had overtaken him and his hunger raged out of control.

_I should have rested more after sharing my life force with her..._

"Taichou?"

He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, his ears ringing and his heart pounding strangely. Blackness seemed to invade from all sides at once and he felt himself start to fall.

_It was reckless to share life force when I was already somewhat depleted myself, but..._

_It seemed like the right thing to do at the time._

"Taichou, are you okay? Do you need to...?"

"No. I will be fine. I will be..."

His words trailed off and his legs gave way. He felt himself being caught up in strong arms and caught Renji's familiar scent.

_Where did he come from?_

_Why is Renji here?_

But whatever the reason, Renji's presence made him feel safe enough to relax and he calmed into a haze of sleep. Renji gazed down at him worriedly, but couldn't sense any immediate danger to him, so he turned towards his apartment.

"You work too hard," he commented softly, feeling a gentle, beautiful throb in his chest as Byakuya's head dropped onto his shoulder, "You can stay with me tonight, because I'm too damned tired to carry you all of the way back to Kuchiki Manor, okay?"

He carried the sleeping noble to his apartment and stepped onto the elevator, frowning down at Byakuya's troubled face.

"What were you doing out here anyway? I thought you were going home."

The elevator doors opened in front of him, and he walked out into the hallway. He carried Byakuya to his apartment door, then inside, where he laid the noble in bed and tucked him in comfortably. He made up a place on the sofa for himself, then left to shower, before settling in and taking a final glance at his sleeping superior.

Byakuya's body seemed to glow very softly in the darkness of the apartment, and his expression seemed more contented. Renji sighed in relief and closed his eyes.

"G'night Taichou," he said softly, "Feel better, huh?"


	5. Hunger

**Chapter 5: Hunger**

**(Thanks so much to Bijective and Invertible (It is going to be fun revealing more of Renji's connection to Sakiko and seeing how she interacts with Byakuya, helping him take steps towards falling in love again. And Rikichi and Tetsuya will tangle with Orochi again...oh, there will be fireworks! Yeah, keep that frying pan handy!), KingHerod (Yes, Byakuya can be very reckless when he is taking care of someone. And Sakiko has already reached his heart in a big way. Hope he doesn't get too reckless. It would be dangerous!), SunlessNights (Ah, the wait is over and Rikichi and Tetsuya will continue some very cute bonding!), Firebirdever (Yup, my friend is one of those people who is very accepting and gently guides. I love that in a person! Ah, and reactions to sleeping near future lovers starts here! This was fun to write!), Renji-Bya-Lover (Wow! Are you ever in tune with my thinking! Can't get anything past you, can I? This chapter will live up to its name, I promise!), Berty05 (Byakuya will be surprised at himself, that's for sure! :) And Renji? Well, you'll see!), MissLilly2012 (Thanks so much for the extra prayers. My friend got some bad news in that the cancer has left one lung at 10% and is attacking the other, so her prognosis is not good. But she is a really strong person. She cries sometimes but she fights harder than anyone I know!), and Chakragoddess (Yes, sweet and bittersweet will rule this story. The only regret I have is that it takes too long to get it out of my head and typed in!) Enjoy the chapter! Love Starfire.)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**All I know is sorrow, so great is that hunger inside. Feed me with your gentle loving, and let me be finally sated.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

A warm, delicious, savory scent drifted over Byakuya's senses and caused a deep rumble in his belly, nudging him out of the heavy sleep he had been in. He sucked in a breath of the wonderful smell and felt the bed move as someone sat down on the edge and set a tray of food down on the nightstand. He blinked sleepily, taking in Renji's long, red braid he always wore at night, the slightly rumpled black silk yukata and the somewhat weary shadow to his normally contented features.

"Renji..." he mumbled, still not sure he was awake.

He recognized then, the pleasant, masculine scent of his fukutaichou that permeated the bedding, and the simply furnished, but comfortable apartment the redhead inhabited.

"What am I doing here? And why are you even conscious before noon?" he asked sleepily.

"You're here because you passed out right in front of me, down near the Seireitei gates last night," Renji answered, watching as he sat up and brushed the tumbled strands of hair out of his eyes, then handed him a cup of hot green tea, "And it isn't before noon. It's ten after. It's okay, we're both on leave, remember?"

"I imagine that explains why you are awake."

"But it doesn't explain why you're not," Renji mused, shaking his head and smirking, "Kuchiki Byakuya in my bed, sleeping past noon and waking up to eat my home cooked food. Never thought I'd see the day."

Byakuya let out a huff of breath and sipped at the tea.

"Stranger things have happened," he said, frowning as another deep rumble went through his belly.

Renji chuckled.

"You'd better eat some of that before that monster in your stomach decides to come out and eat us both," he commented.

Byakuya's frown became a soft scowl.

"Do I look like a child to you?" he asked archly, "And why do you feel the need to let me steal your bed, then to cook for me?. I have staff to take care of menial things for me. You did not have to..."

"I like taking care of you," Renji said, making Byakuya freeze for a moment as a bit of his conversation with Sakiko replayed itself in his mind.

_You like being 'cared for,' don't you?_

"Besides," Renji went on, "your stomach growling kept waking me up."

"It couldn't have been any louder than your incessant snoring," Byakuya replied, his frown softening somewhat as Renji grinned and handed him a plate piled high with food.

"Heh, and how would _you_ know?" Renji laughed, "You were dead to the world!"

Byakuya contemplated the delicious looking food, trying to decide where to begin, then raised an eyebrow.

"You do realize that there is enough here for about four people, ne?" he asked, taking a bite.

"Yeah, you're that hungry," Renji said with certainty, "Though I can't say as I've ever seen you that hungry before. And I thought you ate normally yesterday."

"And what is this sudden interest in my eating habits?" Byakuya asked, "Though, I must admit, you manage to cook as well as you prepare my tea. Where did a lower Rukon boy learn such culinary skill?"

"I don't know," Renji admitted, shrugging, "I guess I just appreciated finally having enough food so much that I wanted to make the most of enjoying it."

"That makes sense, I suppose," the noble said, his stomach growling impatiently as he tried to retain some amount of manners while devouring the mountain of food on his plate.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked, pausing as Renji rose and stretched.

"Already ate," he answered, walking to the closet.

Byakuya cleared his throat softly and tried to look absorbed in his meal while watching out of the corner of one gray eye as Renji slipped out of his yukata, baring the full array of his tattoos and his golden tanned flesh.

_It is not like I have never seen him naked before._

But somehow, seeing Renji, relaxed and naked, stalking carelessly about his home environment was enough to make Byakuya feel an odd, strangely beautiful shiver pass through him.

"So," the redhead said, derailing the noble's thoughts, "What were you doing down in the Rukongai? I thought you were going home."

Byakuya considered making a comment to the effect of telling the redhead to mind his own business, but was once again struck with a memory of his conversation with Renji's dying friend.

_I would say that Renji-san has been in need of heart healing since the day he first crossed your path, Kuchiki Byakuya._

He took another bite of the savory food, then glanced up at the redhead.

_Perhaps you need to change the way you interact with Renji-san. If you are not powerful and you cannot offer your expertise and battle knowledge, then offer something simpler._

"It is almost the anniversary of my late wife's passing," Byakuya said quietly, "For each special occasion...her birthday, our anniversary and the anniversary of her death, there is a certain flower that grows only in the lower Rukongai, and only in the spring, that I travel there to find to lay on her grave."

It was, in fact the truth, both that it was something he did, and it was something he would be going into the Rukongai to do soon anyway.

"Ah," Renji said, a softer, more reverent sound to his voice, "That's right. That makes sense. It's...really good of you to remember her that way, Taichou. You must have really loved her a lot."

Byakuya chose his next words carefully.

"She was a gentle, beautiful soul...and she was my friend, before and after everything else."

He swallowed hard as unexpectedly strong emotion began to return at the memory.

"It is...difficult when one grows up with everyone having such high expectations. To meet someone with such simple beauty, someone who had no expectations of me at all, was very...different."

"Did she know who you were when you met?" Renji asked.

"No. She only knew that I was a shinigami who was in the right place at the right time to save her life. She was being cornered and threatened by a group of young men who worked for the local brothel owner and were out finding women to work for him. Hisana had managed to elude them before, but was searching for her sister and strayed into a dangerous area that I was assigned to patrol."

"I hope you really beat the shit out of them. I can't stand scum that would ever use a woman like that."

_Which makes his association with Sakiko-san even more of a curiosity. What exactly is between them?_

He frowned as another memory invaded his thoughts.

_"I cannot say," Sakiko said, looking amused, "My ability is not in telling the future, but in reading people and then giving them what they need."_

_"Not what they __want__?" Byakuya asked, not quite knowing why._

_"If I had given Renji-san what he '__wanted'__ when we met, then we would not be friends. I was good at my profession because while excelling in physical comforts, I was even more proficient in the more elusive art of healing hearts."_

"It was necessary to kill one of them. The other two, I left unconscious and incarcerated in the town jail."

"That's good," Renji said, nodding in approval as he slipped into a clean shihakushou and tied it at his waist, "Bastards have no right to lay hands on a woman. It happens a lot down there, but it shouldn't, you know?"

"Of course not," Byakuya agreed, continuing his assault on the meal that the redhead had made for him.

Renji slipped into the bathroom and returned several minutes later, clean shaven and with his long hair bound up into a high ponytail. He smiled at Byakuya as he emerged, then nodded towards the vacant bathroom.

"You're welcome to use the shower, if you like. It's pretty small compared to what Rukia said you have there at the manor, but it'll do if you're in a hurry to go somewhere."

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, I have some things to do. Don't know when I'll be back. But take your time getting up, okay? You seemed pretty wiped out last night. What, were you doing speed trials down there or something?"

"Hardly," said the noble, shaking his head, "I just...was more tired than I realized."

"Which explains why you came back empty-handed."

"Yes. I will go back today...later."

"All right, then," Renji said, starting for the door.

He froze as Byakuya's voice sounded behind him.

"Would you perhaps come with me later?"

Renji blinked in surprise.

"To Inuzuri?" he asked, looking back at the noble curiously.

"Yes."

"Ah...sure," the redhead said hesitantly, "Yeah, if you want me to. You worried about there being trouble?"

He caught his breath and shook his head, catching himself.

"That's right," he mused, "You still don't have your powers. As much as you wouldn't want to admit it, it could be a bad idea, you going there alone."

"Do you _want_ me to withdraw my invitation?" Byakuya said, his frown returning.

"No," Renji chuckled good-naturedly, "Sorry, Taichou. I'll go with you...and I'll shut up about your powers."

"Good."

"Take it easy, okay?" Renji said, opening the door.

"I will," Byakuya answered softly, watching as it closed between them.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Tetsuya's widened, sapphire eyes blinked slowly and Rikichi's brightly blushing face came into focus. A jolt of realization passed through the noble's body and he pulled away from the young officer, sitting up in the bed and still staring in surprise.

"R-rikichi-san!" he said in a shaken voice, "I...I am so...I am sorry! I didn't..."

He felt heat on his own face as Rikichi continued to gaze at him wordlessly.

"I should go," he said, starting to exit the bed.

He froze as a staying hand touched his arm.

"Wait, Tetsuya-san," Rikichi said in an equally affected voice, "Don't go, okay?"

Tetsuya looked back at him in surprise.

"But I..." he began to object.

"It's okay," Rikichi laughed, breaking into his usual friendly smile, "Tetsuya-san was cute, mistaking me for a teddy bear, "I'm not angry. I was just a little surprised."

Tetsuya gave him a somewhat confused look as Rikichi released his arm, stretched and yawned, then scratched his head, tousling his hair.

"Are you hungry, Tetsuya-san?" Rikichi asked, looking as though waking up in Tetsuya's arms was the most natural thing in the world.

"Am I...? Oh...yes, a bit," Tetsuya said, regaining some poise.

He started to say something about going back to the manor to eat and change, but remembered his blunder from the day before and only looked back at Rikichi quietly.

"We could make something here," the third seat suggested.

Tetsuya glanced down at his somewhat rumpled uniform, biting gently at his lips.

"Oh, you probably want to shower and dress first," said Rikichi, "I'm sure Kuchiki taichou wouldn't mind if you use his shower and maybe borrowed something to wear, if you like. But his clothes are a little bigger, ne? I have some yukatas that are nice enough for going around in. Would you like to borrow one?"

"S-sure, yes, thank you," Tetsuya said, climbing out of the bed and following the third seat to the closet.

Rikichi looked through the yukatas and selected one with a mingled royal blue and black pattern. Tetsuya thanked him again as he accepted it, then frowned curiously as Rikichi started out the door as well.

"Don't you have your own shower?" he asked.

"Sure," said Rikichi, "All of the upper level officers do, but mine's broken and we're waiting for the part to be delivered. So, I have to use the showers in the regular barracks."

"You could use Byakuya-sama's shower with me," Tetsuya offered, blushing as he realized what he had said.

He started to correct himself with 'before me,' but received a sound shock as Rikichi's smile widened.

"Really? You're...sure that Kuchiki taichou won't mind? It is much bigger than my shower and not crowded like the barracks showers."

"I think my cousin would be fine with it, but..."

"Great," Rikichi said, following the flustered noble as he left the third seat's room and headed down the hall to his cousin's quarters.

He knocked first, reaching out with his senses to ensure that the clan leader was not in the room, then produced a key that Byakuya had given him and opened the door. Rikichi gazed longingly at the hot tub as they entered the room and Tetsuya couldn't help but notice.

"Did you want to soak in the hot tub first?" he asked, "I still have a few painful places from what happened last night."

"Really?" Rikichi said, going wide-eyed, "Are you really sure it's okay, Tetsuya-san?"

"Of course," Tetsuya assured him, "My cousin and I are as close as brothers. He won't mind us using it."

_Although, he and the elders might have issues about me being alone and naked with another man while undergoing purification..._

"Wow..." mused the third seat, moving to the dressing area beside the hot tub and slipping out of his yukata, "That looks really hot!"

Tetsuya tried not to stare as Rikichi turned and walked to the hot tub, but couldn't help wanting to see the younger man's cutely tumbled hair, slender back, and shapely hips and pleasantly round bottom.

_Oh...this was not such a good idea, I think. He is...!_

Tetsuya's hands shook softly as he disrobed and started towards the hot tub, and Rikichi turned as he reached it, looking back at Tetsuya and smiling invitingly.

_He is so innocent...so gentle, kind, happy...unspoiled._

_I wonder if Naoki and I would have been like that, had we not been locked up for all of our childhood._

"Tetsuya-san, are you all right?" Rikichi asked, shattering his reverie.

"Oh, yes, sorry," Tetsuya said, shaking his head and continuing to the hot tub, all too aware that Rikichi was trying not to look, but was stealing glances as he had been.

He reached the hot tub and slid down into the water, then touched the controls to make the jets activate.

"Ah..." sighed Rikichi, sinking in up to his shoulders, "This feels so good!"

"Yes," Tetsuya agreed, struggling for words as his head spun from the intense warmth and the closeness and nakedness of this one he found he was beginning to desire.

"Oh, would you like me to massage anywhere?"

Tetsuya was grateful that the hot water gave him another reason to be blushing.

"Eh..."

"You said that you were hurting from last night," the third seat reminded him.

"Yes, that's right," Tetsuya said.

He knew he should refuse, but he found that he couldn't look into Rikichi's sweet, friendly expression and say anything but yes.

"Okay," he managed, his heart pounding.

He turned slightly, feeling lovely twinges in his belly and loins as Rikichi's hands touched him, then his strong fingers worked into the tightened muscles of the noble's shoulders and back.

"Is that better?" Rikichi asked, his voice close to Tetsuya's blushing ear, "Or is there somewhere else that hurts?"

_I didn't realize before._

_I didn't think about it because I was focused on settling into my new life...my new family. Even amongst those who loved me..._

_I was lonely after losing my Naoki._

_Rikichi is different. He smiles easily. He wants so much to please. He hasn't seen the kind of abominations that we did in that place. He is young and beautiful and unspoiled...still sweetly naive and not darkened by the weight of others' cruelty._

_If only..._

"Tetsuya-san?"

_If only I could be like that._

"Tetsuya-san, what's wrong? Was it something I did? Did I hurt you?" Rikichi cried, reaching out to brush the tears away from his friend's eyes.

"No," Tetsuya reassured him, stunning the younger man by slipping his arms around him and pulling him close.

"Tetsuya-san?"

"I am fine. It is just that...you reminded me of something precious that I lost, long ago," the noble breathed into Rikichi's flushed ear, "I am sorry if I startled you. You just surprised me by bringing it back."

"B-by bringing what back?" Rikichi asked, quivering inside at the feel of Tetsuya's warm cheek, where it pressed up against his.

The noble's answer nearly brought him to tears.

"Happiness," Tetsuya whispered, laying his head on Rikichi's shoulder, "It makes me happy when I'm close to you, Rikichi-san."


	6. How Well You Know Me

**Chapter 6: How Well You Know Me**

**(Thanks a bunch to Scarlotte O'Hara (Aww, thanks! And here's some more bittersweetness to enjoy!), TomyAllen (I am also liking the gentle pacing. It gives me time to show different facets of the characters and let them interact a lot in different situations, giving them more depth. And yeah, Renji will want to spoil the daylights out of Byakuya, if he should...hmmm...maybe somehow become pregnant...*winks*), Renji-Bya-Lover (I think I'll take my time and let this move slowly. I want Sakiko to be developed more and her relationships with Byakuya and Renji to be in the foreground as her illness progresses. And on another topic entirely, I finally have a break in my work schedule, so will try to catch up on your enjoyable fics! So sorry it's taken so long. But I know it will have been worth the wait.), Sohainochiyoko (I promise that Orochi will receive something he very much deserves!), KingHerod (Aww, so glad you like it!), Bijective and Invertible (Thanks so much for the continued prayers for my friend. She is hanging in there and restarting chemotherapy to slow the cancer. It's really just giving her as much time as possible, and even though she is still a bit weak, she is really planning to make the most of her time. Now is when I wish I could do what Byakuya did for Sakiko. But, my friend is one tough cookie!), MissLilly2012 (I went back and watched what episodes I could find with Rikichi in them, then spent a lot of time building the chemistry between Tetsuya and him. Rikichi's happy demeanor and desire to please are so refreshing to Tetsuya, who might have been more like that if he hadn't been so traumatized. So, being with Rikichi is like recapturing something of what he lost.), SunlessNights (LOL Oh no! You're not obsessed. *winks* Just like I'm not obsessed with writing or Bleach! *giggles madly*), and Chakragoddess (Ah yes, that trip to the Rukongai will be fun to write! That's coming up soon.), Enjoy the chapter!)**

"Kiki?" Renji called softly, tapping on his friend's front door, then waiting for her to call back to him to come inside.

To his surprise, he heard her footsteps approach the door, then the door opened.

"Whoa!" he said, stepping back and taking in the unexpected sight of her, on her feet and smiling...dressed, not in night clothes, but in a yukata more suitable for being _out and about_, "What's going on? You look really good today. What? Did ol' Michio give you an energy boost or something?"

"No, actually," Sakiko said, her gray eyes looking comfortable and happy to see him, "I am not sure what is going on. My condition hasn't changed, but the healer said that it seemed as though some sort of stabilization had happened. He doesn't know why. But, it is wonderful to be on my feet and not sitting around in a chair. I was about to go down to the town gardens, I felt so good."

"I'll go with you," Renji offered.

"You're not going to ask me if I'm sure I feel up to it?" Sakiko asked merrily.

"Would it matter if I did?" the redhead chuckled, "You wouldn't listen anyway. You'd still just get up and do things your way."

"You know me very well, Renji."

"Yeah, you and Taichou are both the most willful people I know. You want something and there's nothing anyone can say to stop you. Sheesh, just yesterday I caught him as he passed out right in front of me. I don't know what he did to himself, but it wasn't the 'resting and taking it easy' that the healers prescribed when we were healed up after the armistice with the quincies was declared."

"Byakuya-sama passed out?" Sakiko asked, looking concerned, "Is he all right? Did you find out what was wrong?"

"He just seemed exhausted," Renji answered, slipping an arm around his friend and walking alongside her down the street, "He didn't have anything really wrong with him, and he sees the clan healers pretty much daily...something to do with a service of some kind he's performing for the clan. But anyway, I scooped him up and took him back to my place, gave him a place to sleep and a really big breakfast this morning. He seemed better when I left. He even complimented my cooking and tea making. Felt pretty good."

Renji reached back and scratched the back of his neck, smiling at the recollection.

"Come to think of it, it was really nice being with him. He was so relaxed and still half asleep...real cute, you know."

Sakiko smiled more widely.

"It was good of you to take care of him like that. And it sounds like he was very grateful to you."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, "It was funny. We just went back and forth making jokes and teasing and stuff...like a married couple."

He sighed softly.

"It's like I thought, Kiki. We are really good together. But even though we are, it doesn't change the fact that he's a noble. And even if he wasn't a noble, he was married to a woman. He's probably not going to be interested in a guy...especially some Rukon rat like..."

"Stop that," Sakiko chided him, "He likes your cooking, ne?"

"Yeah."

"And how many times have I told you that the key to catching a good mate is knowing how to give a man what he likes most, be it food or other 'comforts?'"

Renji laughed and felt a flush on his face at the suggestion.

"I guess that's why you never had any lack of marriage proposals, even though, you know, you were..."

Sakiko shook her head and let out an amused breath.

"It's okay to say it, Renji," she said matter-of-factly, "I was a prostitute...and I was good at what I did. I became an expert at surmising what it was that the men who came to me needed."

She giggled, making Renji laugh along with her.

"That's probably why, for a prostitute, I actually didn't have so much sex as conversation. Most of the men who came to me were wanting something else...most were just lonely and wanted to be spoken to by someone who was gentle, who smelled good and was soft to the touch. Many needed to feel they were noticed or heard. Those aren't such complicated things, really. But sometimes it's the really simple things in life that get overlooked and undervalued."

Renji lowered his eyes and spoke more softly.

"I didn't fall so much into any of those categories, ne?"

"No," Sakiko agreed, brushing several feisty raven strands of hair away from her face, "You were very unique. You may have asked me to have sex with you, but I knew right away that what you wanted was far more complex."

"Uh-huh," Renji said, still looking at the ground and remembering...

_He stood quietly at the window, looking out at the falling rain, while just behind him, Byakuya slept soundly in the hospital bed where he had been ever since being brought in from Soukyoku hill. Only once had he regained consciousness, and in his delirium had asked Renji to bring his tea. On the advice of Unohana taichou, he made the tea and brought it to the noble, sitting down at his bedside and tempting his lips with a small bit in a spoon._

_Byakuya remained silent and nearly still, breathing steadily in and out. And as he did, the scent of the tea invaded his nostrils, and began to stir him. Renji touched the spoon to his taichou's slightly parted lips, his breath catching as the soft looking lips moved and Byakuya took a mouthful of the tea._

_"Arigatou, Hisana," he whispered incoherently, his hand moving and somehow managing to entangle itself in Renji's hair as he leaned forward to feed the semi-conscious man a bit more of the tea._

_Byakuya's palm touched Renji's cheek and the redhead froze in place, staring and unable to move as Byakuya's hand guided him down to those soft, hungry lips. And the kiss his taichou gave him was so warm and sweet and mind numbingly beautiful, he dropped the teacup onto the floor, shattering both the cup and the delicate exchange. He pulled away and bent to pick up the broken pieces as Byakuya's eyes opened and blinked dazedly._

_"R-rukia?"_

_"Sorry Taichou," Renji said, escaping to the other side of the room, "I just dropped something. I'll...um...I'll go if you want."_

_"Ren...ji..." he mumbled incoherently, reaching up to touch his lips with his fingertip, "Did...did something...happen?"_

_Renji returned to his side and gave him a sip of water._

_"No," he said quietly, "Nothing happened, Taichou. You were just dreaming. Get some more rest."_

_"Renji, I thought that you...hated me. Why...?"_

_"It's okay, Taichou. Go back to sleep."_

_He needn't have said the words as Byakuya had already drifted off. But Renji's heart pounded strangely, and his throat felt dry. He felt a sensation on his skin that was like a fever, and his body shook softly. He told himself it was nothing. _

_But..._

_"Taichou kissed me," he whispered to himself._

_He knew the noble had mistaken him for Hisana, but the kiss he had delivered had been gentle, sweet and more affectionate than anything he had seen Byakuya ever express. Byakuya was cool, quiet and closed off. He never observed Renji with anything but calm, distant eyes, as though he was above any kind of feeling._

_But there had been such wonderful feeling in his kiss!_

_And it left Renji confused._

_He thought back, trying desperately to remember if he had ever felt anything like this for a man before. He had, of course, always liked girls, mostly just Rukia. Even though they were more like a brother and sister, having grown up together, he had always wistfully hoped she might begin to see him differently as he grew up and became strong enough to protect her. But although he had made himself strong, Rukia continued to see him as the big, lanky goofball he had always been. It was frustratingly like she couldn't see the difference, no matter how he changed._

_"I must just always like people who don't like me back," he muttered._

_And, to be sure, the situation with Byakuya, if indeed, he was feeling something for the man, was that Byakuya was a person who hadn't even paid any mind to him at all. For years he had quietly stalked the man, watching him carefully and learning his habits and abilities. It was all for the purpose of regaining the right to see Rukia, but somehow, as he had observed the solemn, aloof taichou, it had become more than that. He had thought that he hated Byakuya, because the man stole away his lifelong friend._

_But what he had felt upon learning what Byakuya had done to save Rukia, shook Renji to the core. That such a beautiful and powerful man could have gentler emotions like Renji's own was intriguing. And somehow, he thought, the idea of that powerful man becoming vulnerable was unexpectedly attractive._

_"But it can't be that," he chided himself, studying Byakuya's lovely sleeping face, "I'm just...maybe I'm just real lonely. But even if I am, I have Rukia now."_

_That was what he told himself as time in the hospital went on and the quiet noble regained consciousness and began to heal. And although Renji was touched and very pleased when Byakuya told him in that solemn, contemplative tone, that he didn't have to be transferred, that, given all that had happened, he was willing to allow Renji to continue as his fukutaichou, as long as he kept one promise..._

_"You must always look out for Rukia and keep her safe."_

_He had always wished before that Byakuya would entrust something important like that to him. But as the days moved forward and the two were released from the hospital and returned to work, Renji felt more of an urge to protect someone besides Rukia. He told himself that it was just that Byakuya was his taichou, and that finally, he was developing the connection they should have had from the start. But hour by hour and day by day, he realized more and more that it wasn't just that. When Byakuya was sitting at his desk, silently working, Renji couldn't stop stealing glances. When those smoky gray eyes regarded him, he quivered inside and he hungered for another taste of those soft, sweet lips, to hear the purr of Byakuya's voice in his ear, as he sometimes did while they were training together and the man moved in close to him to correct his technique. He even caught himself purposely making mistakes to encourage more of those moments._

_It began to become like an odd madness, a wicked game where he told himself repeatedly that he couldn't be in love with any man, let alone that man. But slowly, he was forced to admit that what he was feeling was a dangerously powerful attraction...and one that Kuchiki Byakuya couldn't possibly ever return. He had said it all in their battle._

_"Let me tell you the difference between you and me. It's class. It's like the story of the monkey trying to reach the moon. Again and again, the monkey reaches out for it, but he never realizes that it is only the reflection of the moon on the lake's surface. So, time and again, he sinks down into the water."_

_He was talking about the difference in their powers, of course. But Renji knew well that if they were different in power, they were even more different in their hearts. Byakuya had been married to a woman, and Renji had never in his life desired to lie down with a man. But he very much, he found, desired Byakuya. And as he struggled to force down that attraction, he nearly lost his mind in the process. It all came to a head, one rainy night when he had walked Byakuya home from work, lying and saying that he was going that way to meet a friend. As they reached the entrance to Kuchiki Manor, Byakuya paused and turned to look at him in the darkness._

_"Would you like to come inside to dry off and have something warm to drink?" he asked the redhead._

_Renji didn't know whether to be flattered or scared. Byakuya had never asked him to do anything outside of work, making tea and training together. But was this just a courtesy for walking the man home, or was Byakuya offering him another kind of 'warmth' entirely? He tried to read the noble's expression, but couldn't tell what he was thinking. And scared to death of ruining the better terms they were on, he gently refused, wishing Byakuya a good evening and saying that he would see him the next day._

_He had fled Kuchiki Manor then, running through the dark streets, not knowing or caring where he was headed. He didn't remember leaving the Seireitei, nor taking the path to Inuzuri, but only realized what he had done as he arrived in the cold, poor town that had been his home._

_The streets were dark and muddy, and the ones lucky enough to have a place to go were inside. Renji stood in the street, soaked to the skin and miserable, wondering how things could have looked so normal on the surface, when he was so distraught inside all of this time._

_"Even I didn't know how fucked up I was inside," he mused, "But this proves it. This..."_

_Renji froze suddenly._

_A few feet in front of him, a door opened and a slender, pale figure exited one building and started towards the next. The height was right, the step was spot on, and even the person's bearing..._

_"But I just left him..."_

_"Hey, beautiful," a man passing the person said, "Would you like some company tonight?"_

_...Oh, Renji thought, shaking his head, She's a..._

_He stared as the woman's head turned and dark, contemplative eyes found his and wondered at the state of him. Renji swallowed hard, stunned by how like that man she was and not knowing what to do. But the woman seemed to make up her mind about something. She straightened and walked out into the rain, then stopped in front of him and looked up into his tormented expression._

_"Do you need something, sir?" she asked, "You look troubled. I can offer you a place out of the rain for a bit and a cup of hot tea."_

_Renji's eyes closed for a moment, then opened again and focused on her, and he forced out what was in his heart._

_"Can you make me forget someone?" he asked, tears joining the rain in his eyes._

_"Come with me," the woman said, taking his hand._

"Are you all right, Renji?" Sakiko asked, breaking him out of his reverie.

Renji didn't answer, but abandoned the distance between them and embraced the woman tightly.

"Thank you," he whispered, kissing her on the cheek as she brushed away a tear that had leaked onto his face, "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't taken me in that night!"

He sniffed softly and blinked away more tears, looking down into her wide, lovely eyes.

"I'm sorry that I can never repay you. I wish that I could find a way."

"Renji, your friendship is more than repayment," Sakiko assured him, holding on to him tightly, "You know that."

"I know, but...I just...really want to be able to find the way to make you better. I want to save you. But I can't do that! I can't do _anything_!"

"Stop," the raven-haired woman admonished him gently, placing her hands on his face, "If you really think that you still owe me, and you want to repay me, then find a way to do as I told you. Take that next step that you have been avoiding. Stop being so afraid and tell that man what is in your heart! You know that it torments me to think of leaving you, Renji. But think of what a relief it would be, what a comfort, to know that my friend is finally happy."

Renji shook his head, stifling a soft, unbidden sob.

"How can I be happy if you go away?" he managed softly, "You've helped me so much!"

"Then, if I've helped you to admit to yourself that you are in love with him, you should tell him."

"But don't you understand?" Renji asked, sniffing and closing his eyes, "If I tell him now and he doesn't feel the same, then I'll lose you both! I can't do that, Sakiko. I just..."

"I know you are afraid of him rejecting you, but I have a very strong feeling that he won't. After what you told me, I can see that you two both need each other. He lost someone meaningful to him, and you are losing someone close to you. You have history and shared pain. And you told me yourself how it was to have him sleep in your home last night. Renji, if the man did not feel anything for you, he would have left your home the moment he woke. But, not only did he stay, he ate the food you offered and was complimentary."

"He was just being polite."

"He was showing his gratitude," Sakiko said firmly, "And he was sending signals. He is comfortable with you. And that being so, you should give him a chance. Talk to him, draw him out and find out what he feels on the subject. Renji, you will never get out of this place you are in unless you talk to him. You are trapped, just like you were when you lived in Inuzuri. Your strength and your courage got you out of there, and if you will only..."

"Enough already," Renji laughed softly, "Let's just enjoy the flowers, okay? Don't make things complicated."

"Ah...you fool," Sakiko muttered, rolling her eyes as they moved onto a path that led around a tranquil pond.

She sighed softly, feeling grateful for the strength that had let her enjoy the walk with her friend.

_All things considered, I have been very fortunate..._

"So, when do you have to go back to work?" Sakiko asked.

"Taichou gave me a short leave," Renji informed her, "I've got a few days off."

"Then, could we do something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Well, if I am up to it tomorrow, I want to go somewhere where it is snowing."

"Snow?" Renji repeated, a thought coming into his mind, "Yeah, I just might be able to do something about that."


	7. Kietsu (Joy)

**Chapter 7: Kietsu (Joy)**

**(My deepest thanks to everyone reading this story and PMing to support me in my grief over my friend's situation. In a few short hours, I will be going to the hospital to say a final farewell before my friend's life support is removed and we will be parted from each other...for a while, anyway. I named this chapter and a character in it Kietsu in my friend's honor, as Joy is her middle name. When she comes into the story, I will give you a glimpse of the beauty and strong spirit of the friend who has been a part of my life since we were teens. In that way, a bit of who she is will live on in all of us. Thank you.)**

Rikichi felt a sensation like panic inside and his heart ached for the young man who still leaned against his shoulder, his arms wrapped around and his breath teasing Rikichi's neck, just under a blushing ear. He tried to think of something to say, but found himself at a loss. No one had ever held him like that...ever noticed him, really. He had always been underfoot, less than useful...and Renji sometimes had called him a pain in the ass. But there was nothing but affection in Tetsuya's warm embrace. His eyes registered nothing but happiness and relief at Rikichi's pleased acceptance of his words and touch. He waited, then, to see what Tetsuya would do next, but was stymied as the other young man simply continued the quiet embrace and seemed at a loss for words.

"I am happy being held by Tetsuya-san too," he confessed finally, "And I am glad that you feel the same way. I don't know what made you feel unhappy before, but I am glad that feeling is gone. You are a good friend. But...is Tetsuya-san saying that he would like for us to be more than friends?"

Tetsuya caught his breath and swallowed nervously. For a moment, the room they were in and Rikichi disappeared, and he was taken back to the small cell in Itamigiri, where a brown haired boy with gentle brown eyes like Rikichi's, but a more often solemn face, knelt in front of him, touching his face with affectionate hands.

_"Do not let their darkness inside you, Tetsuya-san," Naoki instructed him, "When they take you away and do those things to you, think of me and of the love we share. Do not let their cruelty shake your faith in love. Our love is always there, to brighten any darkness, to calm our hearts through everything. If we just focus on that, we will be strong enough to survive until Byakuya-sama comes."_

He lifted his head and looked into Rikichi's hopeful, smiling expression and found himself smiling too. He leaned forward slowly and placed a delicate kiss on the other boy's smiling lips, breathing in his lovely, youthful scent and reeling from the emotion that swelled inside him.

"Yes," he answered softly, "I want to be _more than friends_ with Rikichi-san."

Rikichi's happy expression blossomed into a look of pure joy.

"Tetsuya-san, really?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes," Tetsuya assured him, blushing furiously as his confession made some of Rikichi's shyness fade, and he curved his hands around Tetsuya's face and returned the kiss the other young man had given him.

He captured Rikichi's hands in his and held them, cupped around his face as he went on.

"I want very much to be more than friends with you. And if you want this, then it will be. But I do not know if Rikichi-san will want to, once he knows what I am doing for my clan."

"What?" Rikichi asked, blinking, "I really like you, Tetsuya-san. Why would you think that your service to the clan would make me not like you this way?"

Tetsuya bit at his lip gently, not sure if he should explain.

_But my heart aches at the thought of losing him. I must confide this in him. I want to. I trust Rikichi-san..._

"What I am going to tell you," he said softly, "is a clan secret. No one is supposed to know except for family members. But I want you to know, so that you do not misunderstand me. You see, the truth is..."

He broke off, gasping in surprise as a tapping sounded on the door and Renji's voice sounded outside.

"Oh no!" Tetsuya whispered, grabbing onto Rikichi and hastily invoking the power of his zanpakutou.

He dragged his startled friend down into the water, breathing the release command for his shikai as Renji opened the door and walked into the room. Rikichi's eyes rounded in dismay as their bodies became clear like the water and disappeared into the hot tub's depths. Another frightening jolt went through him as he began to feel the need to breathe, but was held firmly beneath the surface.

_Breathe,_ Tetsuya's voice whispered into his shocked mind, _It is all right, Rikichi-san. This is my shikai. I have made our bodies into waterforms. As long as you are close to me, you can breathe under the water, like I can._

Rikichi shivered uncertainly, but couldn't hold his breath anymore, so he tried a cautious inhale. The water he breathed in was warm, but did not make him uncomfortable, and he still felt Tetsuya holding on to him to reassure him.

_Are you all right now?_

Rikichi's smile returned.

_I'm okay._

He felt a soft quiver in Tetsuya's reiatsu that felt like regret.

_I am sorry that I startled you, but I thought that Rikichi-san and I would be embarrassed if Renji-san came in and found us this way. He would know that Byakuya-sama wouldn't mind me using his room, but...well, there is something else that I am worried about that I will tell you about once Renji-san has gone._

_Okay, _Rikichi thought back.

He remained quiet in Tetsuya's warm embrace as, outside the hot tub, Renji looked at the bubbling water and frowned.

"What the hell?" he muttered, "What's this? Taichou's hot tub's turning itself on? That's weird..."

He was halfway to the door before he noticed the clothing on the pegs in the dressing area. He took a closer look and smirked to himself, chuckling inwardly.

_Tetsuya-san and Rikichi? _he mused, _Nice catch, Rikichi!_

He shook his head in amusement, looking back at the bubbling hot tub.

"Behave yourselves, you two," he laughed, "And don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."

He exited the room, still smiling, as Tetsuya and Rikichi surfaced and Tetsuya's shikai faded. Rikichi looked over at their clothes, then back at Tetsuya.

"Will you tell me something?" he asked the noble.

"What is it?" Tetsuya asked in reply.

Rikichi's eyes took on a wounded look that sent a bolt of concern through the noble.

"Is...Are you...ashamed of seeing me?" he asked, making Tetsuya catch a pained breath and hasten to answer.

"Oh no! Of course not, Rikichi-san!" he said reassuringly, brushing strands of wet, black hair out of his eyes, "I was going to explain before, remember? There is another reason why I am worried about being seen. But, it is not what you are thinking. I would be proud if Rikichi-san became my boyfriend! It is just that...you see...I..."

He paused, searching for the right words.

"Rikichi-san, you must promise not to tell anyone that I told you! It is very important. I would be punished by the elders if they found out."

"Found out about what? That we are boyfriends?" Rikichi asked.

"Well, they would not be happy about that because of what I am doing for the clan...specifically, for Byakuya-sama."

"I promise, then, that I won't say anything," Rikichi said firmly, "You can trust me."

"I do trust you," Tetsuya said, giving the other youth a tentative smile, "And that is why I a going to tell you. You see, the clan has long desired for Byakuya-sama to court another woman and to get married again, so that he will have children to continue his father's and grandfather's legacies. But after losing his wife, Byakuya-sama is not of a mind to follow their wishes. They understand, of course, but a way needed to be made for Byakuya-sama to have children. And...because he rescued me from the noble's prison when we were teens, I want to help him."

"H-help him?" Rikichi asked, blinking, "How?"

Tetsuya hesitated, swallowing hard and gazing anxiously at the other young man.

"I am...noble born...and so am able to capture reiatsu from another man, and to bind it with mine to make a new soul...to carry a child."

"Ah...um...a child?" Rikichi whispered, staring.

Tetsuya's expression became tormented.

"Not wanting to be paired for marriage," Tetsuya went on, "Byakuya-sama could have used one of the clan's approved concubines. But...he was uncomfortable doing such a thing. We are close...not lovers, but we do love each other as cousins. So, to give him another way, I offered myself and was selected by the elders to bear Byakuya-sama's child."

"You?"

"Yes," Tetsuya confirmed, tears threatening, "It is a great honor, but it is also a great responsibility. I must undergo a purification ritual with Byakuya-sama, and when our bodies have fallen into balance, we will have to lie together to place the reiatsu. After that, it will be several months before the baby comes. I will not be able to be with Rikichi-san publicly until the baby is born. So...I will understand if this makes Rikichi-san rethink himself."

Rikichi's smile returned, and he surprised Tetsuya with a gentle kiss of acceptance.

"R-rikichi-san?" Tetsuya said uncertainly.

"I don't have to think at all," Rikichi said firmly, "Tetsuya-san saw me when I was invisible to everyone else. He loved me when no one else would. I would wait a lifetime for you, Tetsuya-san!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji finished a quick review of the division reports filed for the day, then left the sixth division headquarters and stepped out into the street. He paused for a moment, then started walking in the direction of Kuchiki Manor, only to spot Rukia a few minutes later, moving in the opposite direction.

"Hey stranger," Renji said amiably, "I was just going over your way to see Taichou. We're supposed to go take care of something together this afternoon."

"You mean, he left your apartment?" Rukia asked worriedly.

"Oh," Renji said quickly, "I don't know, actually. I...had some things to do and Taichou needed rest, so I left him at the apartment earlier and thought I'd probably find him at the division after. Figured he'd be checking in before going along with me."

"Well, Nii-sama did send a message to the clan to request a visit from the clan healer, but he didn't come back to the manor. So, I assumed that it meant he was still at your place. Are you saying that he left there?"

"I don't know," Renji confessed, "I just didn't go there first because I was visiting Hitsugaya taichou and Rangiku-san and was closer to here than my place. I'll go back to my place now and see if he's still there."

"Well, I would go with you, but Ukitake taichou just sent a hell butterfly and I have to check in with him. But could you let me know that Nii-sama is all right when you find him?"

"Sure. No problem," Renji promised, "I'll send word as soon as I find him."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You have come back, Byakuya-sama," Sakiko said, smiling up at the noble's solemn face, "It is good to see you again. Renji was here a little while ago...but you knew that, didn't you? That is why you waited until now to come in?"

"Yes," Byakuya said quietly, handing the woman a cup of hot green tea, "I have not yet confessed to Renji that I know about his association with you. I want to let it be his decision whether or not to tell me. However, I am not able to know about your situation and stand idly by. Is there...anything that you need?"

Sakiko's eyes held his for a time as she considered the question, then she calmly nodded.

"There is something," she answered, "It is something that has troubled me for a long time."

Byakuya looked back at her expectantly and waited in silence.

"Renji has tried to help me with this, but we lacked the resources to see it through. You see, I gave birth to a daughter, some time ago. It was...during a time when I was not able to work because I had gotten pregnant, and the pregnancy was difficult. I was destitute by the time she was born and was forced to give her up. Fortunately, an orphanage in the mid-Rukongai agreed to accept her. I know where she grew up, but the orphanage lost communication with her after she became an adult. I have tried to find her, but have not been able to. I would just like to see her, to know she is all right, and to ask her forgiveness for not being able to care for her growing up."

Byakuya hesitated, closing his eyes for a moment, then nodded in assent.

"If you will give me what information you have about her, I will see to it. I assisted my wife in her search for her lost sister, and was able to find her, albeit after my wife's passing. But, I will attempt to help you find your daughter."

He went quiet again for a few moments, then met her eyes again.

"Sakiko, may I ask you a question?"

Sakiko looked up at him as though she knew what he was going to ask and smiled at him.

"No," she answered, making Byakuya's eyes widen slightly in surprise, "Renji did not father my child. Come now, Byakuya-sama. You know Renji. You know how he views those who would use a woman for sexual release without love. But...that you were going to ask me that question says something quite profound about your connection to Renji. Tell me, are you in love with him?"

Byakuya stared at her silently, his mind spinning at the bluntness of her question. He considered everything, from that first moment, when Renji had burst into the room where he stood with his relatives in the midst of inviting Rukia to join the family to the revelation in their battle that Renji had been watching him, learning everything about him and plotting to overcome him, and on to the white walled hospital room where the redhead had confessed the desire to remain his fukutaichou and Byakuya, after much thought, had accepted. He considered the training they had done together, and how Renji had taken care of him after his collapse the day before."

"You do not have to answer me," Sakiko assured him, "I only asked so that you would think about it."

Byakuya was silent for a heartbeat longer, then sighed softly.

"I have been thinking about it," he confessed softly, "I think you understand very well the direction of my thoughts. However, at this point in time, I am unable to consider what desire I may have for him."

"Oh?"

Byakuya bit his lip gently, considering.

"I am in the midst of a service to the clan, and while it is underway and I am undergoing ritual purification, I may not become involved with anyone."

"I see," Sakiko said, reading his expression carefully, "But you do not say that you are not interested in Renji, just that you are prohibited for now?"

"That is correct," Byakuya answered, a soft blush touching his features.

Sakiko's smiled warmed.

"I am sorry, Byakuya-sama, if my questions were indelicate. I did not mean to be rude."

"You were not rude. You care about Renji."

"I care about both of you."

Byakuya blinked in surprise.

"But, you barely know me."

Sakiko gave a gentle, lovely little laugh that sent a flutter of memory through him.

"I know you better than you think, Byakuya-sama. Remember that it was my life's work to understand the needs of the men who engaged my services."

"Ah," said the noble, blushing more notably, "I see."

The two went quiet for a time as Sakiko slowly sipped at her tea and looked out the bay window.

"Byakuya-sama, thank you for assisting me...by catching me when I began to fall and by agreeing to help find my daughter."

"You are welcome," Byakuya replied, inclining his head.

"Her name is Kietsu...Joy, because that is what I felt when she was born. Even though she was not born of love, I loved her. And even though I could not keep her, my heart went with her."

"I will find her, and I will bring her to meet you," Byakuya promised.

Sakiko nodded gratefully.

"Thank you, Byakuya-sama. You will find the information in the drawer over there."

She waited as the noble retrieved the papers, then returned to sit down in the chair at her side. He watched quietly as she finished her tea, and then leaned back, sighing, and closed her eyes, then leaned forward, laying a hand on her forehead and letting his reiatsu build around them. But as he started to infuse her with the bit of his life force, her hand rose to touch his face and her eyes opened and looked up into his.

"You should not do that again," she objected, "Renji-san said that you passed out yesterday, and I think you and I both know why."

He silenced her rebuke gently with a throb of kido that relaxed her into sleep, then calmly continued the infusion, before leaving her sleeping peacefully and setting out to return to Renji's apartment. All of the way there, her words echoed teasingly in his mind.

_"Come now, Byakuya-sama. You know Renji. You know how he views those who would use a woman for sexual release without love. But...that you were going to ask me that question says something quite profound about your connection to Renji. Tell me, are you in love with him?"_

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji opened the door to his apartment, and paused, staring at the sight that met his eyes. From end to end, the apartment had been meticulously cleaned, and a cooked meal waited for him in the oven in he kitchen. And curled comfortably in his bed was the person he had been seeking.

"What's going on?" he asked softly, watching as Byakuya stirred in his sleep, then opened his eyes and met Renji's, "You have your staff pay a visit?"

"No," the noble said softly.

"What?" Renji asked, frowning, "You mean, you...?"

Byakuya looked back at him and said nothing.

"Huh," Renji mused, "Well, that must be why you called for the clan healer, and why you still look like hell. I guess that trip to the Rukongai will have to wait, ne?"

"Perhaps until tomorrow," Byakuya agreed.

Renji looked around again and noticed that the couch had not been made up, then looked back at Byakuya.

"Thanks, Taichou. You didn't have to clean house for me, but I am grateful."

"You are welcome."

Renji moved on to the kitchen as Byakuya settled back and closed his eyes. The redhead stole glances at the sleeping noble as he ate, then sighed sleepily and went to shower and change. He returned to the sleeping area, hesitating for a moment as Byakuya stirred and looked up at him.

"Is this okay with you?" he asked quietly.

"It is fine."

Renji took a fluttery breath and forced himself to move, pulling back the covers and sliding into the bed, beside Byakuya.

"Just don't kill me if I snore in your ear, okay?" the redhead joked.

"I will attempt not to."

"Thanks, Taichou."


	8. Love Ties

**Chapter 8: Love Ties**

"You look better this morning," Renji commented, studying Byakuya's still somewhat paler than usual face as he set a tray of food on the nightstand next to the bed and turned on the lamp.

Byakuya stirred and sat up slowly, his stomach rumbling noisily as the scent of the food reached him.

"Thank you," he said, picking up the tray and placing it in his lap, "But, I did tell you that I was capable of taking care of myself. I am already imposing by staying here so long. But, I will be out of your way after this morning."

"No rush, Taichou," Renji said affably, "You're a real good roommate...quiet, you pick up after yourself, and you and I get along really well. Best roommate I've ever had, actually."

"Hmmm, well, much more of your fine cooking and I would not fit into my clothes anymore."

"Heh, that's not my fault, you know," Renji chuckled, "Your reiatsu's been so damned low lately, you have to eat that much, just to keep from fading away completely."

"You exaggerate," the noble commented, digging into the meal with somewhat less that his usual manners.

Renji smiled at the unusual sight of Kuchiki Byakuya struggling to hold himself back as he ate, but slowly giving way to the intense hunger that plagued him.

"So, if your powers are sealed away for this thing you're doing for the clan, and you've just been here resting, eating and cleaning my apartment for the past two days, why doesn't that seem to do any good restoring you? What, are you running marathons while I'm out doing what I do?"

"Hardly."

"Then, why are you so...?"

"What is this incessant need of yours to hover over me, Abarai?" the noble asked, frowning, "You said yourself that I looked better, and yet to continue to fuss over me like one would a sick child."

"Okay, you be nice, or I'll take back what I said about you being the best roommate," Renji quipped, feigning annoyance, "I'm doing my best here, filling you up with good food and letting you sleep all day. But as much fun as it is spending this quality time with you, I'm getting kinda worried."

"You don't need to worry, Renji. I will be fine."

"Yeah...says the guy who collapsed in my arms a couple of days ago," the redhead reminded him, "Taichou, if something is going on...if you're in some kind of trouble..."

Byakuya smirked.

"Abarai, if _I _was in trouble with something _I_ couldn't handle, then I doubt that _you _would be able to..."

He stopped himself suddenly as a harsh memory cracked across his mind.

_"A bastard like you has no right to wield Senbonzakura!" the redhead screamed at As Nodt._

_Byakuya clutched a hand to his bleeding torso and forced himself onto his feet, sending his shikai petals at the quincy from behind as Renji engaged As Nodt head on. Too quickly, the quincy's head turned and he realized that many of the petals around him were not being controlled by him, but by the battered taichou behind him. Byakuya's heart froze in his chest as a huge wall of petals closed in on him. He met them bravely, refusing to fall, even as they enveloped his body and threw him backwards and into a hard, stone column. He heard Renji scream, but couldn't see through the raging petalstorm to know if the redhead was able to fend off the attack on him._

_"R-renji," he whispered, as the area around his beaten body went quiet and Senbonzakura's blade cracked ominously, then shattered, "Rukia...I'm sorry."_

Byakuya blinked and refocused on Renji, forcing away the memory and taking a steadying breath. He was surprised at the comprehension in the other man's eye...the look of worry that told him that Renji knew exactly where his mind had gone, and that the redhead had returned to that place too.

"My apologies," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes, "I was...insensitive."

"No, you're right," Renji said in a softer, wounded voice.

"No," Byakuya corrected him calmly, "If I were to run into trouble, there is no more capable person whom I would rather have at my back than you, Renji...whatever the outcome. But this is not getting us anywhere. And there is something that I have to be seeing to today. Are you still amenable to going to Inuzuri with me?"

"Yeah, sure," Renji answered, nodding briefly, "I have something to do this afternoon, but I'm free this morning."

"Very well," Byakuya said, setting aside his nearly empty tray, "If you do not mind, I'll want to shower first and change."

"Well," Renji said, recovering his usual smile, "You know where everything is. Just give me a yell when you're ready to go."

Byakuya had no sooner finished showering and stepped out to dress, when a hell butterfly flitted into the room. Renji looked up at it as it gave the noble its message, too softly for the redhead to hear.

"Let me guess," the redhead said, shaking his head, "No Inuzuri today?"

"Hmmm," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes, "I must go today, as it is the anniversary of my wife's passing. But, it will have to be later. Will you come to the manor when you have seen to your obligation?"

"Sure, Taichou," Renji said agreeably, "No problem."

XXXXXXXXXX

Rikichi stirred softly and slowly came awake, for the second time, finding himself warmly entangled in Tetsuya's arms. A sleepy smile crawled across his face as he quietly admired the lovely face of the young noble, and breathed in the light, sweet scent of sakura that surrounded him.

_It's hard to believe he's still here, now that it's morning. For a little while, just before I woke up, I thought that the warmth around me was just a dream, that I'd dreamed the whole thing and I was still alone. But, Tetsuya-san is really here. He slept the whole night again, next to me._

_Nobody ever did that before._

_I was wondering if anyone ever would._

_But Tetsuya-san made all of those feelings disappear. Now, when I fall asleep, it's so warm and I feel like as long as he is there, I am at home. How can being with Tetsuya-san make me feel this way? And what can I do to tell him how he has made me feel?_

His eyes fixed on the young noble's lovely sleeping face, the tumbled waves of silken hair that framed it, and the soft glow that seemed to light his resting body from within.

_Tetsuya-san looks like an angel._

His thoughts suddenly scattered as one sapphire eye opened and regarded him drowsily. Then, Tetsuya's contented smile warmed him inside all over again.

"Good morning, Rikichi-san," he said, nuzzling closer and nipping playfully at the other young man's lips, "Were you up all night watching me? I felt your eyes on me, even as I slept. Were you worried I would leave you?"

Rikichi laughed.

"I was more worried that Tetsuya-san had never really been here at all, and I just dreamed the whole thing."

Tetsuya's eyes softened and he rested his head over Rikichi's heart.

"It would still have been the best dream I ever had," the third seat went on, "but I much prefer having Tetsuya-san really here."

"And here, in Rikichi-san's arms is where I prefer to stay," Tetsuya assured him, "You must understand, I gave this a great deal of thought before revealing my feelings to you. It wasn't an easy decision, because...because of what happened when I gave my heart to someone before."

Rikichi paused, gazing at Tetsuya's solemn expression and not knowing whther he should speak or keep silent.

"When I was imprisoned in Itamigiri, the noble's prison for mixed bloods, I had a kind and gentle friend named Naoki. His eyes were brown like Rikichi-san's and he was protective of me. We were cellmates in the prison, and we could only make love if we were very quiet and did not let the guards see. But even with that challenge, our love endured through everything."

"What happened to him?" Rikichi asked, feeling an uncomfortable knot in his throat.

"Byakuya-sama found out about the prison, while he was a teen, and still heir to the Kuchiki clan leadership. He led a raid against the forces holding us. But...someone he trusted betrayed him. They warned the prison guards that Byakuya-sama was coming to our rescue...and...the guards began killing all of the prisoners."

Rikichi's face paled and his heart quickened beneath where Tetsuya's head rested upon it.

"Byakuya-sama came into our cellblock and attacked the guards, but one of them fired a deadly kido spell at me. Naoki pushed me down, but was struck, himself. He...died in my arms."

"Oh, Tetsuya-san!" Rikichi whispered, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Tetsuya smiled sadly.

"Byakuya-sama was kind enough to allow Naoki to be named my legal husband...and to have him buried at Kuchiki Manor so that I could mourn him properly. Since that time, I have never again felt the feelings inside that I felt in Naoki's presence. Not once did I desire another lover...not until that day."

_"What happened?" he whispered dizzily, raising his head and feeling dread well up inside as he encountered the sight of Arashi's fallen form. _

_The stallion laid ominously still on the ground where the two had landed after being blown from the hilltop by Soi Fon taichou's stolen bankai. He loosed a sob and forced himself painfully up onto his hands and knees, then crawled to the stallion's side._

_"Arashi!" he panted, his breath stinging his lung, "Arashi!"_

_He didn't dare look down at his body or take stock of his injuries. And he didn't stop to wonder why they were still alive, but simply dragged himself to Arashi and tried to bring his healing powers to bear. But the light around him flickered fitfully, and after a moment, faded._

_"No!" he whispered, brushing the stallion's black forelock out of his eyes, "Arashi...!"_

_"Do you need help?" a youthful voice asked softly._

_Tetsuya's head turned, and he went breathless and still as he found himself looking into eyes that mirrored Naoki's and a sweet, guileless face that managed to smile at him, even amidst the destruction all around them._

_"I am Rikichi. I am from the sixth division. Kuchiki taichou sent us to search for his cousin. Are you him? Are you Tetsuya-san?"_

_"Is Byakuya-sama all right?" Tetsuya asked desperately, "He and Renji-san were with me when Arashi and I were brought down! That bastard, As Nodt...and another, they...!"_

_Kuchiki taichou told us," Rikichi said, kneeling in front of Tetsuya and coaxing him down onto his back, "Lie down, Tetsuya-san. You are badly hurt."_

_"Do not worry," said a cold, male voice, "You will both die soon and you won't need to worry about your injuries!"_

_Instantly, Tetsuya was on his feet and holding on to Rikichi, shielding the younger shinigami and moving back to protect Arashi. The quincy in front of them laughed._

_"What are you going to do?" he asked mockingly, "Are you going to fight me with your sword alone? I can feel that your powers have been depleted. And that one with you is a weakling."_

_The quincy stepped forward threateningly and Tetsuya's arm tightened around Rikichi. He felt Rikichi's hand move between them as the younger shinigami slipped his weapon free. His lips moved softly as the quincy continued his leisurely approach._

_"I am not the most powerful of my brethren, and I do not have a stolen bankai to kill you with. But, I do have my own power, and the use of blut. The two of you and that carcass behind you are no match for me. But let me show you."_

_The two shinigamis watched in horror as white light swelled around the quincy and he moved to attack. Unable to summon his power, Tetsuya stepped back defensively, then gasped in surprise as the quincy's attack was launched and Rikichi suddenly moved._

_"Dageki!" he cried, pointing his blade at the quincy and simultaneously raising a protective shield around himself, Tetsuya and Arashi._

_As sharp as his eyes were, Tetsuya barely caught sight of the something that fired itself from Rikichi's blade. He realized, then, that it looked to be a medium-sized bird of some kind. It was so fast that the quincy in front of him had no time to stop his attack and switch to his defensive blut, nor even time to move as the small bird flashed through his defenses and drove itself deep into the quincy's chest. The quincy's eyes widened in distress and his hands clenched, as the reiatsu exploded around the small bird and blew the quincy apart completely._

_Tetsuya's legs went weak and he dropped to his knees, panting harshly as Rikichi dropped down next to him and quickly began to heal him._

_"Wh-what was that?" he asked, shakenly, "What did your zanpakutou do?"_

_"Ejiki no Tori," Rikichi answered, wiping the sweat from his brow, "My zanpakutou launches a peregrine falcon that seeks the core of the enemy and then explodes, destroying him. It is one of the fastest zanpakutous, though I have yet to master its greater powers. But, I knew that if I waited until the quincy was attacking, I could strike him while his defenses were down. And when he was destroyed, his attack lost its power and was easy to block."_

_"You were...brilliant, Rikichi-san," Tetsuya said, his voice fading as he fell back and began to lose consciousness again._

_"It'll be okay, Kuchiki-san," Rikichi assured him, "I will take care of you."_

_"Arashi..." Tetsuya whispered, barely coherently._

_"There are more healers coming now too," Rikichi promised, "You and your Arashi will be fine."_

"It wasn't so powerful a quincy," Rikichi said, blushing, "And I only defeated him because I knew exactly when he would be vulnerable."

"Ah," said Tetsuya, smiling up at him, "But Rikichi-san, much of a man's power does not rest in his ability, but in his intelligence and strategy. You handled yourself admirably that day. And you protected Arashi and me when we were injured defending our leader, and left powerless."

Rikichi blushed more brightly and found himself momentarily speechless. Tetsuya reached out and captured his face with one slender hand, bringing him closer and seeking his lips again.

"I wanted that very day to see Rikichi-san again, but Arashi and I were evacuated to Kuchiki Manor and placed under the care of the clan healers. And after, I was unsure of myself. I wondered if opening my heart to Rikichi-san might not be too reckless a thing to do. I watched you from a distance, and I searched my heart carefully. And I found that my heart very much wanted to love you, Rikichi-san. For no matter how it might end, the idea of loving you is so beautiful that I would not miss it...not even knowing how it could end."

"Tetsuya-san!" Rikichi exclaimed, trembling at the noble's confession, "Tetsuya-san, that is so...beautiful!"

Their lips met again in a flurry of kisses, and Tetsuya's hands touched the folds of Rikichi's yukata, but stopped short of baring him.

"I would make love to Rikichi-san now, if I could," Tetsuya whispered between kisses, "I wish now that I..."

"No," Rikichi said, touching his lips to stop him, "I think that what you are doing for Kuchiki taichou is wonderful. I think that Tetsuya-san will be cute, carrying a baby inside him."

A flush roared across Tetsuya's features and he bit at his lips and looked away.

"You are not even supposed to know," he reminded the younger shinigami, "And my body will not 'show' as much as a woman's does, because the reiatsu cluster in me will not swell to its full size until it leaves my body."

He started to say more, but froze as a hell butterfly fluttered into the room.

_Kuchiki Tetsuya,_ the head elder's solemn voice said stoically, _We are pleased to inform you that your reiatsu and Byakuya-sama's have reached the optimum balance. You will report to the Kuchiki council hall immediately for the conception of the heir._

Tetsuya's face went very pale and his eyes filled with tears. Rikichi hugged him tightly and brushed them away.

"It's all right," he assured his new love, "This is okay with me, Tetsuya-san. You made this agreement before you confessed your love to me. I will not be jealous. I am okay with it."

"But," Tetsuya said in a choked voice, "I don't know now if I can go through with it!"


	9. Frozen Tears

**Chapter 9: Frozen Tears**

Byakuya walked calmly up the stone steps and entered the Kuchiki council hall.

"Good morning, Kuchiki-sama," the hall guards greeted him, bowing as he passed.

He proceeded into the entry, his feet tapping softly on the white marble floor with each light step. He turned to the left and was met by a hall attendant, who walked with him to an ornate door and opened it for him. Byakuya passed through the door and entered the small room where Tetsuya waited silently, his back turned and his sapphire eyes focused on something outside the window.

"Tetsuya."

The younger noble turned and met Byakuya's eyes quietly. He frowned in concern at Tetsuya's troubled expression, but he didn't have to ask why his cousin was feeling that way.

"Are you all right?"

Tetsuya considered the question for a moment.

"I am content."

"No, you are lying. I would like the truth. Before, you were comfortably accepting of this. Has something changed?"

Tetsuya held on to his composure and smiled stiffly.

"Things change all of the time, ne?" he answered, "Transient life suffers constant change. Do not be concerned for me. As I said I am..."

He paused, turning away form his cousin again.

"I am all right."

Byakuya's footsteps sounded softly, and Tetsuya felt a warm hand touch his shoulder. He closed his eyes for a moment, forcing down the emotions that welled up and the tears that longed to follow.

"It has happened, hasn't it?" Byakuya said solemnly, "My favored cousin has finally fallen in love again, ne?"

"I have," Tetsuya answered honestly, "But...do not worry. I had this obligation first, and I will see it through with you, Byakuya-sama. I really am content to do so."

"Does Rikichi know about this?"

"About me being in love with him?" Tetsuya pondered, a sad smile touching his lips, "Yes. And he returns the emotion."

"Does he know about...?"

"I had to be honest with him," Tetsuya confessed, "But you know that he will say nothing. He is not angry, and in fact, is more calm about it than I am."

"It is all right," Byakuya assured him, slipping his arms around Tetsuya and embracing him, "I, too, have a rather turbulent heart going into this. And if it will not offend you..."

He broke off, releasing Tetsuya and turning towards the chamber door as it opened, and a council sentry stepped inside to join them.

"The elders have gathered," he informed the two, "Come."

Byakuya followed the sentry, with Tetsuya a silent shadow, a step behind, at his right. They traversed the long hallway and entered the council hall meeting chambers, where the elders sat, waiting for them. Nori rose as the two moved out in front of the seated elders and waited.

Tetsuya felt Orochi's eyes watching him closely, but looked instead at the head elder and ignored him.

"Welcome, Byakuya-sama, Tetsuya," Nori greeted them, "The Kuchiki elders offer their blessing to this union, and hope that it will be fruitful."

"Thank you, Nori, members of council," Byakuya answered.

Nori started to say something, but paused, his aged blue eyes questioning as Byakuya went on.

"However..."

Tetsuya went breathless and still.

"With most abject apologies, it seems that I will be unable to fulfill the requirements for conception at this time."

"Why is that?" Nori asked, his eyes widening at the clan leader's words.

"There has never been a case of such a thing!" objected Kuchiki Fumio, frowning.

"I don't think we know what would happen if the purification ended without conception," added Kuchiki Arisu, her curious green eyes blinking slowly, "It has never happened in the whole of our clan's history."

"I think, rather than wondering about the 'how' of it, we should be asking about _why_ he wants this, all of a sudden!" demanded Kuchiki Orochi, his striking black eyes fixing on Tetsuya. So, tell us, Byakuya-sama, why would you withdraw from this procedure at this late time? Has something changed that we don't know about?"

"It seems that our leader once again displays a blatant disregard for our rules and procedures," complained the more youthful, blue-eyed Kuchiki Hana, "I thought that he had promised to obey the rules of the clan."

"There is no rule on record that he must complete the purification and conception," Fumio explained, "The laws simply outline the conditions under which purification and conception must take place."

"Well then," said Orochi, his lips curling into the beginnings of a cold smile, "Perhaps we should also verify if there has been yet another circumvention of the rules."

"What are you saying, Elder Orochi?" asked Arisu, "Do you accuse our leader of something? Come out with it, then."

"Come now," said Orochi, shaking his head, "We _know_ that he has spent the last two nights at his fukutaichou's apartment."

"That is because he collapsed near the Rukongai," Kuchiki Ryuu objected, "A clan healer visited him."

"Yes, he did," agreed Orochi, "And the healer reported that Byakuya-sama's life force had suffered from a fall-off. Now, you know that there are few ways that such a thing can happen and they are all illegal under our laws...which means..."

"It's _my_ fault!" Tetsuya exclaimed suddenly, stepping away from Byakuya and facing the elders.

"Tetsuya," Byakuya began.

"No!" the younger shinigami insisted, "You cannot let them corner you into taking blame for something like that. The truth is...I could not go through with it! I wanted to, of course, but..."

"Tetsuya, you must..."

"No, please, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya argued, dropping onto his knees in front of his surprised cousin, "You must just let me take responsibility! They are trying to accuse you of a capital offense. You have done nothing wrong. But_...I_ have."

Byakuya looked ready to argue the point, but Tetsuya went on quickly.

"I...was...attacked," he said, swallowing hard and not daring to glance at Orochi, "And...Rikichi-san of the sixth division stopped my attacker from sexually assaulting me."

Shocked exclamations filled the room and Orochi's smile grew more wicked.

"I don't understand," he said dulcetly, "You say that you were attacked, but you never made a report of this. We would, of course, have investigated the attack thoroughly, and attempted to bring the perpetrator to justice."

Tetsuya's eyes narrowed, but he held back from accusing his cousin directly.

_There is no way that, without any other witnesses, I could prove that it was Orochi who assaulted me. It would be my word against his. And I have experienced just how such a thing plays out..._

"We understand that such a situation would certainly unnerve you," Nori said kindly, "And we are willing to consider delaying the conception."

"I agree that, given the attack on Tetsuya, we must refrain from any further action until the incident has been fully investigated. And Tetsuya should be examined by our healers to ensure that..."

"I am fine, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya insisted, "It is not that I have become unnerved, but that, in the aftermath of what happened, I...acted irresponsibly."

"You must stop, Tetsuya," Byakuya said warningly, meeting the younger man's eyes meaningfully, "I appreciate what you are trying to do, but..."

"By all means, go on," Orochi said, a cruel glint in his eye, "Tell us the rest. You said that there was more."

"We agreed that there should be a postponement," Byakuya argued, "There is no reason to question Tetsuya any further. I will investigate the attack personally."

"But a postponement assumes that he is still fit to perform this duty," Fumio said, looking down at the notes in front of him, "If Tetsuya has something to confess that may affect his fitness as a clan concubine, then he should speak it before the council."

"Do you have more to confess?" Nori asked in a regretful voice.

Tetsuya came to his feet and stood proudly before the elders.

"Rikichi-san healed me. And more than that, he comforted me. And in the course of that, we kissed and admitted our feelings to one another. And although we held back from making love, I did break the rules of my contract by spending two nights, sharing his bed. We only kissed and slept in each other's arms, but I understand that this is not appropriate behavior for a clan concubine. I submit to the will of the council as to my punishment, and I offer my sincerest apologies."

The room went silent for a moment, then Nori moved to confirm with Fumio. The other elders whispered and stole glances at Tetsuya, where he stood quietly in the center of the room, with his head bowed and his body in a calm pose of waiting. After several minutes, Nori returned to his place and cleared his throat softly. Tetsuya's eyes lifted and met his anxiously.

"Kuchiki Tetsuya, the elders recognize your honesty and penitence by invoking a lesser punishment for your offense. You will serve thirty days in the council hall holding facility, and your place as clan concubine will be revoked."

Byakuya did not miss the shiver that went through his cousin's slender body at the mention of imprisonment, and moved forward to address the council.

"May I have a moment with my cousin before he is removed?" he asked quietly.

"Of course, Byakuya-sama," Nori said, sympathetically, ignoring an icy glare from Orochi.

Tetsuya followed silently as the two were led from the council chambers to the room where they had waited before. Byakuya waited until the guards had left them, then embraced Tetsuya firmly.

"Why did you do that?" he asked softly, "I was guilty of sharing my life force with someone...as you said, a capital offense."

"If you did, then there was compelling reason," Tetsuya answered, "I assume this has something to do with the rumor about Renji-san caring for a very sick friend."

"Yes, but..."

"Then, it is right to let this be as it is," Tetsuya affirmed calmly, "I am not sorry, neither for spending those two nights with Rikichi-san, nor for offering myself up for punishment. Mine is the lighter sentence."

"But you cannot tolerate imprisonment..."

"I will be fine," Tetsuya insisted, "I survived many years in Itamigiri, and I have only grown stronger."

Byakuya sighed and placed a warm hand on his face.

"Then, if you insist on doing this, so be it...but you will not suffer."

"B-bya..."

Tetsuya's eyes widened and stared as Byakuya invoked a flicker of his life force that fired through Tetsuya's stunned form and dropped him lightly into his cousin's arms.

"Sleep, Tetsuya. If you are determined to protect me this way, then I will protect you as well. Your sentence will be served peacefully, and when you wake, you will be free to enjoy the love that has conquered your heart."

He kissed his sleeping cousin gently on the forehead.

"I am happy for you. I hope that someday, I too, will feel the return of love into my life."

Byakuya carried Tetsuya out of the room and gave him over to one of the hall guards.

"Please see my cousin safely to the holding chambers. He is to remain in dreamless sleep for the duration of his sentence."

"Yes, Kuchiki-sama," the guard said respectfully.

"And Miki..."

"Sir?"

Byakuya glanced down the hallway at the entrance to the council chambers.

"Do not allow Orochi anywhere near Tetsuya's cell. Do you understand? That man is not to approach Tetsuya for any reason. And if he attempts to do so, I want you to inform me immediately."

"Yes, sir!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Can I take this blindfold off yet?" Sakiko asked, smiling, "We've come a long way. Are we in the Seireitei?"

"Yeah," Renji answered, looking around the field they stood in, "But no, you can't take it off yet."

He chuckled at the unusual impatience in her demeanor.

"You don't want to ruin the surprise."

"I already know that you're taking me to the snow," Sakiko laughed, "What's so surprising about that?"

"Heh, you'll see. Just don't take that blindfold off."

Sakiko caught her breath as she stumbled, and Renji caught her nimbly.

"Whoa, be careful, all right?" he admonished her, "You could get hurt."

"Hmmm," the girl said, smirking, "It is a little late to be worrying about something killing me, ne?"

She sensed, rather than saw Renji's instantly crestfallen expression.

"It was a joke," she said, shaking her head and tightening her hand in his, "Don't be so serious. It isn't like you."

"Right," Renji chuckled, "Come on."

Sakiko held on to Renji's arm and continued moving forward.

"So...how is your taichou doing? Did you say that he as still staying with you?" she asked, casually.

"Oh...yeah, well he was until this morning. I was pretty worried about him. He's been without his powers for a while now, partially to finish up his healing, but partially to do some sort of ritual for his clan. I don't know what that's all about. But I'll be glad when he's done with it. I hate seeing him so tired looking and having dizzy spells and such. It just isn't my taichou to be like that...although...I have to admit, I really like taking care of him."

Sakiko remembered the gentle infusion of life force that the noble had given her and felt a twinge of guilt, hearing of the uncomfortable side effects.

"I am glad he has you," she said, smiling sadly, "And I am even more glad that _I _do! You are a wonderful friend, Abarai Renji...to Byakuya-sama and to me."

"Heh, yeah, well I guess I just like underdogs and hard luck cases, ne?" Renji laughed.

Sakiko smacked him playfully on the arm.

"You're mean!"

"Oh, so I'm such a good friend and I'm mean?" Renji said, laughing harder, "Just wait. We're almost there. I'll show you mean!"

They reached the crest of a hill and Renji stopped her at the top. Sakiko felt an odd, icy touch of wind on her face, then something very soft and cold making contact with her skin.

"Open your eyes," Renji told her.

Sakiko's eyes opened and her breath escaped her entirely as she took in the sight that laid out in front of her.

"Oh! Oh, Renji!" she gasped happily.

While the weather was warm and comfortable where they stood, the small valley before them was covered in a thick blanket of new snow, with more drifting lazily down from the cloudy sky. It neatly frosted the trees and grass, making a glistening, white spectacle in front of them. Tears rose in Sakiko's eyes and she wrapped her arms tightly around the redhead.

"Abarai Renji!" she cried, pressing her face into his strong shoulder and fighting tears, "This is...unbelievable!"

"So, you like it?" Renji asked, letting his fingers sink into her hair and kissing her on the top of the head.

"I love it!" she whispered, a tear leaking onto her face, "It's been so long since I saw snow...Renji, how did you do this?"

"A friend of mine has an ice zanpakutou. He's a taichou, so it's a damned powerful one. The spell he used here is one of his strongest attacks, actually, but he convinced the spirit in his blade to make it safe for us. Go on. You can touch it, make snowballs out of it, eat it, whatever!"

"Oh, I know what I will do with it!" Sakiko said, flash stepping forward.

For a time, all of the sadness around the two disappeared. Like the Rukon children they had once been, they bounded through the thick snow laughing and grabbing handfuls to throw at each other.

"Oh kami, what is that?" laughed Sakiko as Renji worked at a tall, oddly shaped snow sculpture.

"What? You can't tell?" the redhead said, giving her a look of mock reproach and turning to face her, "It's you and me covered in snow!"

Sakiko laughed harder and placed a hand on her aching stomach.

"R-renji, that...th-that is h-horrible!"

"All right, you!" he complained, hitting her with a soft snowball, "Let's see you do better!"

The midday turned into an a lovely, chaotic revelry, and through it all, neither of the two registered the dark, contented eyes that watched them from within a cluster of trees. Byakuya's heart ached softly with memory as he observed the two for a time, then turned back towards Kuchiki Manor,

_Who are you, Renji, that a soul can be so happy in your presence...even when it is slowly dying?_


	10. Letting Go and Holding On

**Chapter 10: Letting Go and Holding On**

**(Thanks so much to Bijective and Invertible (Here ya' go!), TomyAllen (So glad you liked it! It was a little shorter than usual and read quickly. This one's an easier pace. Enjoy!), DragonPrincess01 (Ah yes, Tetsuya doesn't need to be quite so energetic, throwing himself into harm's way for his cousin. But he's very stubborn when it comes to Byakuya's well-being. He needs a good talking to...and a good boy like Rikichi to give him someone to love romantically. And Renji, that dear boy is about to do something a little bit crazy...in a good way!), Sscullys (Aww, you're too sweet!), and Shenigmatic (Thanks so much! Here's more!) Enjoy the chapter!)**

Byakuya stood quietly in the garden, his eyes somewhat focused on a large, brilliant red flower, and his mind still distracted with a jumble of thoughts. It nagged at him that Tetsuya, who would likely have been in his company and helping him to take some of the turbulence out of his thoughts, was instead, lying in induced sleep, being punished for the terrible crime of, first, falling in love at the wrong moment, and second, sacrificing himself to protect his, once again, errant cousin.

But then, the deep, wonderful blessing of having Tetsuya in his life was the unconditional love that he wielded more capably even than his considerably powerful sword.

Renji, too, was one of the greatest blessings in his life, their earlier struggles having passed and having fallen into the roles of mentor and learner...and even more slowly into a rare and lovely friendship. But now the feelings that he was having were becoming more and more like love. And love, he had found, carried a great deal of risk, when it came to the heart...something that Renji was learning in a dreadfully painful way as he tried to bolster Sakiko's spirits while the gentle woman came to grips with her impending death.

_I am glad that infusing her with my life force is helping to offer them comfort. But..._

"Byakuya-sama, Arata-san from the records department has arrived."

"Please show him in."

He sighed softly, his mind replaying Sakiko's request.

_"Renji has tried to help me with this, but we lacked the resources to see it through. You see, I gave birth to a daughter, some time ago. It was...during a time when I was not able to work because I had gotten pregnant, and the pregnancy was difficult. I was destitute by the time she was born and was forced to give her up. Fortunately, an orphanage in the mid-Rukongai agreed to accept her. I know where she grew up, but the orphanage lost communication with her after she became an adult. I have tried to find her, but have not been able to. I would just like to see her, to know she is all right, and to ask her forgiveness for not being able to care for her growing up."_

Byakuya's heart ached inside as Hisana's hauntingly similar words returned to him.

_"Byakuya-sama, please find my sister. And when you find her, do not tell her that I am her sister. I abandoned her and I do not have the right to have her call me 'sister' anymore."_

_"Hisana..."_

_"But I want her to have someone. So, I ask that Byakuya-sama would make her his younger sister and protect her with all of his strength."_

"Kuchiki-sama?" the records department worker said respectfully, derailing his thoughts.

Byakuya took a steadying breath and turned.

"Arata. I thank you for responding so quickly," he said calmly, "The reason that I have called you here is that...there is someone whom I need you to find for me."

"Of course, sir."

"Your department was helpful in my search for my late wife's missing sister, and now I wish to assist a friend in finding her daughter, whom she gave up for a adoption, due to her circumstances."

"That is no problem, sir. As before, we will just need to know a few things about her."

Byakuya withdrew a set of folded papers from within his clothes and handed them to the man.

"Thank you, Kuchiki-sama," Arata said, nodding, "We will see to this immediately."

"Arigatou."

He sighed softly and closed his eyes, willing away the sadness that had come over him and trying to focus again on the red flower he had been admiring.

_So like Renji..._

"Taichou?"

Byakuya blinked in surprise and turned.

"Ah, Abarai," he said, shaking his head and feeling strangely like he had forgotten to breathe for too long, "I am glad you are here. I hope that your business concluded as expected."

"Y-yeah, it went fine, I guess," Renji said, his mind drifting back to the snowy field and his antics with Sakiko, "Anyway, you asked me to..."

"Come with me to Inuzuri, yes."

Renji grinned and looked around expectantly.

"So, where's the sudden interruption to keep us from going?"

Byakuya graced him with a fleeting smile that made the redhead's breath catch for a moment.

"I seem to have been fortunate enough to have a break between interruptions. But we should go before something else intrudes."

"You've got it," Renji said, falling in beside him as the noble opened a senkaimon.

They passed into the precipice world and continued walking. Renji stole glances at the noble as they traversed the dark corridor.

"Your reiatsu is still barely readable," the redhead noted.

"I am aware," the noble responded dryly, "However, in case it slipped by you, my powers have returned, so you may stop being overprotective now."

Renji chuckled good-naturedly.

"Yeah, right," he laughed, "The second I let down my guard, you'll probably pass out on me again...not that I mind catching you, but you worry me sometimes. But, you say your powers have returned? Does that mean that...?"

"My service to the clan has concluded," Byakuya informed the redhead, "So, I should have no further problems and will return to work tomorrow."

"Then, I will be there too," Renji affirmed.

"No."

"Huh?" the redhead said, looking confused, "But Taichou..."

"I am going to be catching up on reports and our squad has been placed on home duty for the next month. There is no need to cut your leave short."

"But, that's okay. If you're going back..."

"I told you, you do not need to hover over me. And I am sure that you have some obligations to see to while you have the time."

He regretted the words almost instantly as he registered the instant pain that touched Renji's eyes.

_He was thinking of her._

_He is scared to death of losing her._

_Renji, I remember all too well what that feels like._

"I am sorry," he said quietly, "I should not have presumed."

"It's okay," the redhead assured him as they stepped out of the senkaimon and into the dusty, rundown streets of the lower Rukongai, "You're actually right. I do have some things to do."

"Very well, then."

Renji followed him into the town square, then out the far side and onto a faded trail.

"Huh," the redhead commented, "I don't remember this place. Was this where you...?"

"Hisana and I used to come here to a certain glen, where the flowers she liked grew."

They rounded a corner, and came to an abrupt halt as they reached the quiet glen and found themselves looking at a scene of devastation.

"Shit..." Renji breathed, staring, "What happened here?"

Byakuya closed his eyes against the sight for a moment, then forced himself into 'work' mode and surveyed the damage.

"A massive hollow gathering," he concluded, "Some villagers appear to have been captured and killed here in some sort of ritual...then the glen was burned after."

"Damn," the redhead sighed, looking around, "I'm sorry, Taichou. I know you really wanted those flowers."

He went quiet as Byakuya stepped away from him and walked the perimeter of the glen, his dark eyes searching the brush at the corners, the places that had been trampled, but not burned, and the few spots that had escaped damage. He bit gently at his lips, his heart aching at not finding what he was looking for.

"Taichou?"

Byakuya turned and found himself confronted with several of the pretty, white flowers.

"I found these in that corner over there. Is this it?"

He wanted to hug the redhead, but simply swallowed hard and nodded.

"Thank you, Renji. They are sometimes hard to find."

"Yeah, well I wasn't going to let you go home empty-handed. I know how much Hisana-san meant to you."

Byakuya paused, then let out a breath and accepted the flowers from Renji's outstretched hand. Inadvertently, their fingers touched and both men felt a soft, electric jolt pass between them.

"Th-thank you," Byakuya said again, wondering at the way his heart had quickened, and how looking into Renji's friendly eyes had suddenly become intoxicating.

"No problem," the redhead said, turning back towards the town, "But it's getting late."

"Are you hungry, Renji?" Byakuya asked suddenly.

"Yeah, starved," Renji laughed, "What? Are you hungry again? I guess I should take it as a good sign, now that your powers are coming back. You wanna go somewhere? Miki's? Or maybe that teppanyaki place that just opened near my apartment?"

"I was thinking here."

"H-here? What? In this burned out...?"

"No, back that way. Come with me."

Shaking his head non-committally, Renji followed the noble through a copse of trees then out onto a bit of the riverbank and into an almost invisible entry to another shielded valley. To his surprise, amongst the wildly growing grasses and shrubs were a number of more domestic type plants, several herbs and a few trees bearing fruit.

"Wow..." the redhead mused, "I didn't even know this was here."

"Hisana and I found it a long time ago," Byakuya explained, "We planted seeds and came here to gather food during my assignment here."

"Ah, well it looks like stuff just kept growing after you left."

"Fortunately," Byakuya agreed.

He left Renji's side and began gathering some of the fruits, vegetables and herbs, then carried them to a place that looked like it had been used for cooking, where he started a fire and found and washed some of the implements that he and his late wife had left behind.

"It's so weird to think of you being in a place like this," the redhead commented, "N-not that you think you're too good for it. It's just that..."

"You don't have to explain," the noble assured him, "My own relatives do not understand my behavior an appallingly large amount of the time. About the only one who can is Tetsuya, and he is..."

He broke off, his heart aching again at the thought of his imprisoned cousin.

"You okay?" Renji asked, sitting down next to him on the grass.

"I am fine," Byakuya answered, stirring the soup he was making, "I just realized I had started to go on more than I meant to."

"You're getting more relaxed around me," Renji acknowledged, "But I kinda like it that way. I know we have to be more serious at work, but here? No pressure, right?"

"Right," Byakuya agreed, tasting the soup and adding a few more herbs.

He cut up the gathered fruit and the two consumed the sweet, juicy bits while the tea and soup cooked.

"That looks really good," Renji commented, yawning and leaning back against a tree, "Wake me up when it's done, okay?"

He closed his eyes, but opened them again in surprise as a soft, warm weight came to rest in his lap. Byakuya's eyes looked up at him from where the noble now laid with his head rested on Renji's lap.

"You do not mind, ne?" he asked quietly, "I have nothing to lie down on."

"Then just stay there," Renji sighed, closing his eyes again, and still smiling, "I don't mind."

Renji tried to let himself drift off, but found that with Byakuya resting in his lap, he couldn't keep his eyes closed. He stole glances, admiring the noble's dreamy gaze as he looked up into the sky, watching the clouds drift over them and the stars begin to appear. And as he watched, he felt an ache inside, some kind of need that felt like it had been ignored for too long. He surprised himself by speaking it, almost without thinking.

"Taichou, there's something I want to share with you."

Byakuya's eyes found his in the fading light.

"Maybe I should have told you before," he went on, "I know that I was messing things up at work, and I was crabby as hell. The truth is, something has been bothering me. But, I didn't feel comfortable sharing it with just anyone. They might misunderstand, you know? They might think something that wasn't true. And with what's going on, I don't think that I could handle that. It's just that...it's a weight. It feels heavier every day. And it's not going to get better, Taichou. It's going to get worse."

Byakuya started to sit up, but was stayed by Renji's hand that touched his hair and face lightly as he continued.

"I have a friend in the upper Rukongai," Renji explained, "Her name's Sakiko, and she, um...actually, she looks a lot like you. I was down in the Rukongai once, just after Aizen left for Las Noches...and I, I mean, I thought that it was you for a minute. She kinda came out of nowhere and she was really a great listener, because I needed to talk to someone just then."

"It doesn't sound like anything you needed to hide, Renji," the noble said calmly, still looking up at him.

"Well...you see, Sakiko was a prostitute," Renji confessed, "Don't get the wrong idea. I didn't go to her for sex or anything. It's like I said, I just bumped into her at a time when I really needed to talk, and she offered to listen. We got to be friends...really good friends."

"But you didn't think that Rukia or Ichigo or I would...?"

"I don't know," Renji said, shaking his head, "I just...I didn't want people to say bad things about her, you know? Especially, once we found out she was sick. And...when we found out that she was dying, the idea of anyone saying anything bad about her was just too painful to deal with."

"So, you kept quiet about your friendship with her to protect her," Byakuya commented softly, "That sounds very like you to do that. But...you are...sure that her condition is not able to be healed?"

"Yeah, I paid for the best doctors for her, and moved her to a better part of the Rukongai so that she would be comfortable and wouldn't have to work anymore. For a while, she was doing well, but lately she's been getting worse. I've been worried. That's why I've been screwing up at work and being late."

"I imagined that there was good reason for it," Byakuya confessed, "Which is why I did not go to much effort reprimanding you. Although, I wish that you had told me sooner. You were beginning to worry me with the way you were acting."

"Oh, I was? I'm sorry about that," Renji said, shaking his head, "I was trying not to be so obvious...but then you know how I suck at that."

"A blossom that shines as brightly as you will, of course, be ineffective at being inconspicuous."

"Heheh, right," Renji chuckled, "I guess that makes sense...though I don't know if I like being called a flower."

"Try being a man who wields a thousand pink cherry blossoms," the noble said, smirking.

"Hey, those cherry blossoms can slice a guy all to pieces."

"As we have both learned."

The two went silent, the memory of the dead quincy, As Nodt looming painfully in their minds.

Renji cleared his throat softly and went on.

"Well, getting back to what I was saying, I wanted to tell you before, but I was pretty caught up in everything."

"It's fine. You've told me now. And...if there is anything that you or Sakiko needs, you only need ask."

Renji smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Taichou."

Byakuya closed his eyes.

"You are welcome."

The noble drifted off for a time, and Renji spent those minutes looking down into his taichou's face and trying to comprehend what kind of man exactly, he was.

_I had no idea how accepting of things he would be. He's really different when you get him away from the Seireitei and all of his responsibilities. Yeah, when he loosens up, he's really..._

_He's really beautiful._

For some reason, he couldn't take his eyes off of Byakuya's pale pink, soft looking lips. And the thought crossed his mind, more than once that he would like to know if they tasted like the cherry blossoms that scented the rest of him.

_That's really wicked...thinking something like that about my taichou. He'd probably murder me on the spot. As much as it might be worth it..._

Renji's thoughts derailed as Byakuya sat up suddenly, and their eyes locked forcefully. Their faces unusually close, they gazed at each other and neither seemed able to speak.

"I think that the soup is done," the noble said finally, shattering the stillness.

He started to move away, but froze as Renji's arms captured him, and the redhead's mouth captured his in a long, beautifully warm and unbearably sweet kiss.


	11. Living Love

**Chapter 11: Living Love**

**(My deepest thanks to everyone reading and especially to reviewers Katura Uchiha (Aww, thanks! I like the gentler pace and the time I can give to letting the romance bloom gradually...although Renji's nature is more fiery and impatient. And that will begin to show as things progress. I have a feeling that this one is going to be a looong story...but worth every moment it takes to read. I am having so much fun with this, it feels kind of sinful!), MissLilly2012 (Heehee! You think that was fun? Ooh, read on! Read on!), Shenigmatic (Oh, you know these two silly boys so well! Nothing is ever that simple, but if love is true, it's worth the effort of holding it together. And you are right, Sakiko's illness will affect the two as they try to offer her support and comfort. Ah, fluff and angst!), CallMeSenseiKuchiki (And now, the dance begins!), Skrut180 (Aww, :) Thanks so much!), Toshiruki forever (Yeah, Shiro-chan's not so icy as he looks. I have to do a story on him. Just have to find the right person to pair him with!), Renji-Bya-Lover (Wow, it never ceases to amaze me how well you dig in to plot and character. I think you will reall enjoy the interplay of Bya/Ren and Sakiko, tempered with the fluffy Tetsuya/Rikichi romance. Oh...and look for Tetsuya's impetuous attendant and feisty equine companion to treat Rikichi to some funny little escapades. And Orochi is just waiting to cause trouble. We'll have to see if Rikichi is up to handling that bad boy's antics.), Berty05 (Oh, thank you so much! You're very sweet!), WinterStorm03 (You've got it! More is delivered!), TomyAllen (So glad you are enjoying the slower pace and character development. And now, there is more to love. And I am off to write even more!), Chakragoddess (Okay! More kisses coming right up!), Kyuumihaira (Yup! And more kisses are on the way!) and Scarlotte O'Hara (Aww, thanks a million! I am so glad you are enjoying the romances and the introduction of Sakiko. She is a fun character to write. She may be dying, but she is far from helpless or despairing. She has a lot of strength. I like that in a person!) Enjoy the new chapter!)**

"Gomen nasai," Rikichi said, blushing as the huge, beautifully carved door opened and an old woman looked out at him, "Um...I am...Would it be possible for me to see Tetsuya-san?"

The old woman's blue eyes became instantly curious, and she opened the door wider.

"I am...so sorry for not having an appointment, but Tetsuya-san never came back. I was worried."

"I see," the woman said kindly, "Are you Rikichi-san?"

"You know me?" the young man asked, looking surprised, "I only just recently promoted to..."

"Oh, it is not because of your place in Byakuya-sama's squad that I know you," she went on, motioning for him to enter the house, "Come in, Rikichi-san. Tetsuya-san is...unable to come, but his attendant will explain. Come."

"O-oh! Oh, but I am intruding," Rikichi said, his heart pounding, "I will just..."

"Nonsense," the woman said, shaking her head and smiling warmly, "You are not intruding. Come with me."

Rikichi stepped into the entry and froze, staring at the intricate woodwork, dark marble floors and lovely decorations, many of which were made from carved sakura branches. And on the walls leading away from the entry, large portraits of the Kuchiki clan leaders gazed proudly down at him, making him swallow hard and follow close to the old woman who led him along.

"I am Matsuko," the woman said in a friendly tone, "I am Byakuya-sama's head of housekeeping. I am pleased to meet you, Rikichi-san."

"Sumimasen, but...how exactly do you know of me, Matsuko-san?" Rikichi asked.

Matsuko smiled.

"I and several of Tetsuya-san's healers and his attendant all heard from Tetsuya-san, himself, how you rescued him from death by killing that quincy that was trying to kill his Arashi and him. We are all so grateful to you."

"Huh?" Rikichi mused, blinking, "But, I...?"

"Rikichi-san, our Tetsuya-san has had a very difficult life, and those of us who care for him all very much appreciate you protecting him that way."

She came to a stop as they reached a large, warmly decorated suite that Rikichi knew immediately must be Tetsuya's. A portrait of him, seated on Arashi, with Byakuya sitting behind him was proudly displayed on one dark wood-paneled wall and through the open closet door, he could see several yukatas and kimonos he had seen the young Kuchiki wear before.

Rikichi took a startled breath as a young man with black hair and friendly green eyes came suddenly out of the dressing area and encountered them at the door.

"Ah, Koji-san!" said Matsuko, sounding pleased, "There you are. Tetsuya-san's friend, Rikichi-san has come to inquire about him. I thought it would be best if you spoke to him personally."

"Of course!" Koji said, his smile warming even more as he bowed in greeting, "Rikichi-san, welcome to Kuchiki Manor."

"Eh...um, thank you," Rikichi said, bowing in response, "It is nice to meet you, Koji-san."

"Well, now that you have met," said Matsuko, "I must return to my duties. It was good to meet you, Rikichi-san."

"Th-thanks!" Rikichi answered, bowing, "It was lovely meeting you, Matsuko-san."

The two young men watched as the old woman left the room, then Koji gestured briefly in the direction of the open garden doors.

"Come this way, Rikichi-san," he said, nodding, "We can talk in the gardens."

"Kuchiki gardens!" Rikichi exclaimed softly, "They are said to be the most beautiful gardens in Soul Society!"

"I think they are," Koji said appreciatively, "They have been tended by the same attendant family for over a thousand years, and are the most amazing I've seen. But come, you must be very worried about my cousin."

"You are Tetsuya-san's cousin? And...a servant?" Rikichi asked curiously.

"Yes," Koji confirmed, "You see, my subfamily is not in line for leadership, so the way that the strongest and most capable family members are recognized is through being selected to serve the subfamily that leads. My elder brother, Torio, serves as Byakuya-sama's attendant, and our younger brother, Akio, helps the horsemaster to care for Tetsuya-san's Arashi. Oh, and Arashi has been an absolute menace while Tetsuya-san has been away."

"Tetsuya-san is...away? Did he go somewhere? It must have been important for him to leave without saying goodbye."

"Well," Koji said, motioning towards a chair at the small patio table that they had reached, "He is not actually gone. You see, Tetsuya-san was chosen to serve the clan in a special way. But then, word has reached us that he explained this to you while you were caring for him after he was attacked."

Rikichi blushed.

"I know he wasn't supposed to say anything, Koji-san..."

"It's all right," Koji assured him, "You can speak what you will to me and to Matsuko. We have Tetsuya-san's trust and we will be discreet about what we see and hear. It is just that Tetsuya-san's duty to the clan is why he had to...leave the manor for a time."

"Oh," Rikichi breathed, sadness entering his eyes, "So...he has to go away while he is carrying the Kuchiki heir? I didn't know that. I was looking forward to seeing him during, you know. I thought that Tetsuya-san would look cute having a baby inside him like that."

"Hmmm, I happen to think the same," Koji said, measuring his words carefully, "But...Tetsuya-san did not go through with the conception."

"What?"

"I was not present at the meeting, but word came back after the conception gathering that Byakuya-sama had decided to call off the making of the heir."

"He did?" Rikichi asked, blinking in surprise, "B-but why? Tetsuya-san said that he wanted to make an heir so that he wouldn't have to get married again."

"That is what Byakuya-sama had planned. But for some reason, he couldn't go through with it. And when he said that, the council confronted him and scanned his reiatsu, they found that there had been a drain on his life force. They began to question him about it, because, as you know, it is considered a punishable sin to share life force with another. It is a dangerous thing that could harm the person if they give too much. Our clan is very strict about that rule, and if Byakuya-sama had been found guilty of doing that, he would have faced a harsh punishment. Tetsuya-san knew this, and he interrupted their questions, confessing that he was no longer suitable for the procedure. He admitted to having kissed and slept alongside Rikichi-san for two nights."

"Oh no!" Rikichi gasped, his eyes rounding, "Tetsuya-san got in trouble...because of m-me? Koji-san, please tell me. They didn't hurt Tetsuya-san, ne?"

Koji shook his head firmly.

"No...no, of course not, Rikichi-san," he assured the distressed youth, "He was sentenced to spend thirty days in our council prison...which would have distressed him, as imprisonment always has since his days in Itamigiri."

He paused, noticing that guilty tears had leaked onto Rikichi's face, and handing the young man a clean handkerchief.

"Don't cry, Rikichi-san," he said reassuringly, "Byakuya-sama placed Tetsuya-san in a comfortable sleep for the duration. He isn't in any distress at all. He is fine. And he doesn't care about the punishment. He is relieved that he doesn't have to go through with having the heir. He also protected Byakuya-sama by accepting punishment instead, which is what he wanted to do. Rikichi-san didn't do anything wrong. So, don't cry okay?"

"B-but...if I hadn't..."

"You make my master happy, Rikichi-san," Koji said bracingly, "You protected him. I assure you, none of us who love and respect Tetsuya-san blame you for anything. And you shouldn't blame yourself."

Rikichi bit at his lips and wiped his tears away, then sat staring down at the pretty design in the wooden table top, while Koji observed him quietly before going on.

"I know you will miss him while he is in the council holding unit," he commented, "But please don't be sad. You can come and talk to me anytime if you are lonely while you await his return. I like Rikichi-san. I think he is the perfect one to make Tetsuya-san happy."

"Really?" Rikichi whispered, looking up into Koji's kind eyes, "Because he said that I make him happy. And he said that he really likes me. No one has ever even really noticed I was alive before Tetsuya-san. Koji-san, I think I am already falling in love with him."

Rikichi made a soft sound of surprise as Tetsuya's impulsive cousin let out a happy laugh.

"That is wonderful news," he said in a pleased voice, "Then...I have to get you in to see him!"

"Wh-what?" Rikichi yelped as Koji came to his feet and brought the surprised young officer with him, "But, I thought that you said he was sleeping!"

"Oh, he is. But, you still want to see him, right? To make sure he is okay? I know a way to slip into the holding area. I can get you in to see him!"

"But, well, I don't know if I..."

"It's done, Rikichi-san!" Koji said excitedly, "I will be by the sixth division tonight and I will take you to see Tetsuya-san! It will be an adventure...like Romeo and Juliet, ne?"

"Oh, no, I don't think that..."

"Nonsense, we won't be caught," Koji laughed, "Leave it up to me. Rikichi-san, I must get back to my duties, but I will see you tonight!"

"But...!" Rikichi stammered as he was led back to the front door and seen out, "I..."

"It was really nice meeting you, Rikichi-san! Be ready by ten!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya reeled within the powerful embrace of Renji's arms, unable to make himself move and his mind spinning in heady circles as the redhead's blazing hot tongue thrust deep into his mouth, seeking his, and scorching it as it slid along the length, then curled provocatively, tasting him as Renji moaned and held him more tightly. The noble began with his hands braced against the redhead's strong shoulders, and trying to push away, but as their kissing deepened and Renji's mouth coaxed his open wider, a powerful jolt moved through his abdomen and loins, and he felt himself harden where he was pressed up against Renji's body. Heat flashed on his face, and his own body shuddered softly as he felt the heat and large size of Renji's inflamed member where it touched him through their clothes.

He thought he might be falling, then felt the ground touch his back too gently for him to have fallen. Instead, Renji's arms anchored him as the redhead lowered him onto his back and rested his body on top of the noble's, never releasing those soft, pouting lips, once he captured them. Byakuya tried to turn his head away, but Renji only followed, keeping their lips locked together and their bodies entangled as he kissed Byakuya harder. The noble felt Renji's hips moves slightly, creating a wonderful, dizzying friction that made him moan into the redhead's mouth. He lost himself for a moment in the oddly hypnotic sensation, then snapped back suddenly to awareness as his eyes cracked open and he read the intent in his fukutaichou's amorous brown eyes.

He tore himself away, shivering and panting, all too aware of the fact that he had become painfully aroused by the other man. He kept his head lowered, avoiding Renji's eyes as he tried to gather himself.

"Ah...damn," Renji panted softly, "S-sorry, Taichou. I don't know what came over me. I mean...I do. You're really beautiful, and it's been really good spending all of this time with you. And coming out here...seeing you so relaxed like this, out here with the trees and grass and flowers all around you. It just went to my head, I guess. But, I know it was wrong to just..."

"No," Byakuya said softly, "I didn't stop you because it was wrong."

He risked a glance at the redhead and found Renji gazing at him through wary eyes.

"I have...enjoyed the time we've spent together as well."

"Oh. Is it the elders, then? Will they be pissed if some Rukon rat starts playing with their leader or something?"

"No," the noble said, more sternly, "I choose who I want to be with. That wasn't why I stopped you either."

"Huh," the redhead mused, frowning and scratching nervously at the back of his neck, "Well...if you don't think it's wrong, and the elders aren't going to get pissed, then why did you stop me? Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong?"

"No...no, nothing like that," Byakuya managed, searching for the right way to answer, "It is just that...things began to move rather quickly. And while what happened was extremely pleasant, compelling, even intoxicating, I haven't ever..."

He paused, the full nature of what Renji had done causing him to lose the ability to voice his thoughts. Renji's eyes widened suddenly with comprehension, and his smile returned.

"Oh!" he chuckled, a blush rising on his face, "You haven't done it with a guy before? Is that it? Cause, it's not gonna hurt or anything. I can be careful...or you could top. I haven't been taken before, but I wouldn't mind doing that for y-"

He broke off as he moved in Byakuya's direction, only to be stayed by the noble's extended hands. Byakuya held him at a small distance, looking into his eyes.

"Do not misunderstand me," he said quietly, his dark eyes fixing Renji carefully in place, "I do want to explore this with you," he explained, "But...things will have to move slowly. You are going to have to be patient with me. Because, I have not just _never done it with a guy before_, I have never been with _anyone_ sexually."

Renji stared at him in confusion.

"What?" he asked, blinking, "But, ah, Taichou, you were married, ne? And from what I've seen, you loved Hisana-san."

"I did," Byakuya confirmed, "But, as you know, Hisana was exceedingly fragile because of her struggles in Inuzuri. And despite loving her enough to defy my family and marry her, I could not bring myself to be with her sexually. I was terrified of hurting her...or that if she became pregnant, it would cause her health to deteriorate. Hisana was well aware of why I acted as I did, and we agreed to express our love to each other in gentler ways. We brought life to new sections of the gardens...traveled to places that were beautiful and full of life. We poured our affection into sharing each moment we had. I never once regretted that we were not together sexually. We did not need that to be happy together."

Renji went quiet for a moment, letting the words sink in.

"Wow, Taichou," he said finally, "You were really good to her. Sounds like you and Hisana were friends like me and Sakiko."

"Yes," the noble agreed, "She was my closest friend, and I was with her through everything."

He moved away from the redhead to stir the nearly forgotten soup, then poured it into two bowls and returned to where Renji sat, looking down at the pretty, white flowers he had found for Byakuya to lay on his wife's grave.

"You and I are friends now too, ne Taichou?" Renji asked suddenly, making Byakuya look up at him again.

"I would like to think so," the noble answered, blowing gently on a spoonful of the soup to cool it, "I am comfortable with you...when you are not attempting to ravish me."

"Heh," Renji chuckled, "Sorry about that. You just look so sexy when you start acting like everyone else, you know, cooking and cleaning...things like that."

"Abarai," Byakuya objected, a blush rising on his face and throat, "Would you stop that and eat? Your soup is going to get cold."

"Yeah, okay, but can you tell me something, Taichou? You like me, right? I mean, as more than a friend?"

Byakuya smirked and continued to eat.

"What did my kiss tell you?" he said, off-handedly.

"What?" Renji asked in a flustered tone, "You want me to interpret a kiss? I think I probably suck at that as much as I suck at sensing reiatsu!"

"Well then, if you expect to have a relationship with me, then you will learn to interpret my kisses," the noble said firmly.

"Huh?" huffed the redhead, "What is this? Training? I thought we were friends and falling in love! We're sitting here in this really beautiful place, sharing this amazingly good food you made yourself. We just kissed for the first time, and you expect me to figure out what you were thinking? Do you know how many kisses it's gonna take before I can tell you what each one means?"

Byakuya shrugged and continued eating.

"A large number, I suppose...considering how many practice swings a swordsman must undertake to increase his skill. So, perhaps, when we are done eating and have returned to the manor and seen to laying those flowers on Hisana's grave, you can..."

"Oh no!" Renji laughed, dropping his soup and knocking Byakuya's out of his hands as he tackled the noble and brought him down on his back again, "I hope you weren't hungry because, as long as it takes me to learn stuff I suck at, we are going to need to do _a lot_ of kissing!"

Get off of me at once, baka!" Byakuya snapped furiously.

He tried to get up again, but found his mouth immediately occupied by one that tasted of a delectable blend of hot soup, touches of sweet fruit and Renji's own warm, savory flavor. And faced with that, Byakuya found his lips unable to object, his body unable to resist, and his heart too full to consider stopping.

_Fool!_

_You are..._

_Impulsive_

_Impossible_

_Impatient_

_Insatiable_

_You are..._

_Renji...!_


	12. Edges of Darkness

**Chapter 12: Edges of Darkness**

**(Ah, sorry not to include the usual close editing and shout outs, but I will have to add them later, as I have to go to work. Have a great day and enjoy the chapter!)**

"Hey, uh, Taichou? Is it all right to stop in the upper Rukon for a while?" Renji asked, studying Byakuya's solemn profile as they prepared to enter the senkaimon, "You know that person I told you about, Sakiko? I rented her a place there so she would be comfortable. Now that I told you about her, I was thinking that the two of you should meet. If you don't mind, that is..."

Byakuya looked at him out of the corner of one dark, contemplative eye and nodded briefly.

"That will be fine. But, Renji...there is something that I should tell you before we go to her."

Renji glanced at the noble quizzically.

"What's that?"

"Well, actually, the truth is that I have already met Sakiko."

Renji's eyes widened and he stopped walking, just inside the entry to the precipice world.

"You know Sakiko? Really? How? I mean, you're not the kind of person who would...and you said you were a vir-"

"_I_ told _you_ not to repeat that!" the noble snapped, glaring at him, "I did not meet her while she was in that occupation."

"O-kay, then when _did _you meet her?" Renji asked, frowning curiously.

"It was the day that I collapsed on the way home from the Rukongai. The truth is, I was looking for you, because I was concerned that something seemed wrong and I wanted to talk to you about it. I sensed that you were in the Rukongai, and went looking for you. I found you coming out of her house. I saw that you were busy, talking to her healer, so I did not interrupt you. I decided, instead, that I should stay out of your business, and I was about to go back home, when I saw Sakiko walk onto the porch, outside the house and she started to fall. I didn't think, but just caught her and helped her back inside. I didn't know what to say to her, but she recognized me."

"Yeah," Renji said, blushing, "I guess she would. I've spent a lot of time talking to her about you."

"I am aware. But what is telling to me is that she indicated that your association with me has been painful. I know that it hurt you when I adopted Rukia as my sister, but this seemed to be more than that. Things seem well enough between us now, but...are you sure that there is nothing lingering in your mind and bothering you from before?"

"F-from before?" Renji queried, "Well...there was, I guess. But mostly, to be honest, I was really unhappy because I didn't know if you would ever...if you could ever..."

""I do," Byakuya said quietly, slipping a slender hand into his and continuing on, "You do not have to worry about that."

A sweet blush spread across Renji's features, and he squeezed Byakuya's hand gently.

"Thanks, Taichou. That's...really good to know."

He took another few steps, then let out a soft chuckle.

"What is so funny?" Byakuya asked, looking up at him.

"Oh, nothing," Renji said, unable to lose the smile that had been plastered on his face since sharing their first kiss, "It's just that...well, Taichou is a good kisser. My heart's still beating hard enough to make me dizzy. I want to kiss some more, but I'm not sure it wouldn't give me a heart attack."

An instant blush swept across the noble's fine features.

"Don't be ridiculous," the noble muttered, letting go of Renji's hand, only to find it recaptured again, a moment later.

He stopped walking, and looked up into Renji's calmer, happier eyes, feeling a warmth inside that he hadn't been able to conjure since losing his wife.

"And do not call me 'Taichou' when we are alone together. It makes it seem like we are doing something wrong."

"Hehe," Renji chuckled, "Well, I am kinda playing with my boss."

"As long as I am not using my rank to seduce you, we mind our manners at work and do not cause a scene in public, we are not doing anything wrong. We are not breaking any Gotei 13 rules by...b-being together."

"I like how that sounds," Renji said, seeking the noble's lips for another long kiss, "Damn, now that you let me kiss you, I'm having trouble stopping. I'm gonna need to go to a shrink, if this keeps up. It's a pretty wicked addiction!"

"Shut up, Abarai," Byakuya snapped, pulling away from him and continuing through the precipice world.

A short time later, they stepped out into the upper Rukongai, and turned towards where Sakiko's home stood, near a lake, at the edge of town.

"She's going to be real surprised, Taichou, ne? Here, I've mooning about over you and complaining to her that you weren't noticing me, and now, all of a sudden, things are good again."

"Well, I am glad that I could do something to bolster her and to make you so happy."

They stepped up to the door and knocked, then inhaled in surprise as the door opened and the old healer, Michio looked worriedly out at them.

"I am glad you are here," he said quickly, "Sakiko-san has taken a turn for the worse. I found her unconscious on the floor when I arrived to check on her. She is awake and resting now. But, you must understand, she is growing weaker. Frankly, I don't know how she has been on her feet so much lately. I would tell her to go easier, but while minding her health, hers is a terminal case, and I do not want her to miss out on things she can enjoy while she is still with us."

"R-right," Renji said, swallowing hard.

He realized suddenly that the hand that held Byakuya's was holding on too tightly and shaking noticeably. He loosened his hand forcibly, and muttered an apology to the noble as the two took their leave of the healer, entered Sakiko's home and walked together, back to her bedroom.

They stepped inside and found her resting quietly and looking out her window at the cool, blue sky and the lake below the hill the house stood on. She turned her head to look at them as they entered the room, and her smile widened when she saw the two were, not only together, but holding hands.

"Renji-san, Byakuya-sama," she said, smiling despite the feeling of weakness that plagued her, "So...Renji, finally told you?"

She laughed softly, then caught her breath softly as the act became painful.

"I heard you had a bad spell," Renji said in a more serious tone, "You okay now?"

"I am all right," she assured him, "It's okay, Renji. We knew that this would happen as the disease advanced. I am likely to have more episodes like this as time goes on."

Renji looked back at her with saddened eyes, not able to think of anything to say. Byakuya let go of his hand and moved to sit down at Sakiko's bedside.

"Sakiko," he said quietly, "You must have realized that it is growing unsafe for you to live alone like this. I want you to let us gather a few things for you, and we will take you to Kuchiki Manor. You will be more comfortable there. And while you will have a full staff to assist you when you need it, you will also have freedom to enjoy those things you can."

Sakiko gave him a surprised look.

"M-move to your manor?" she repeated softly, "Byakuya-sama, are you sure? I am not noble, nor even a family member."

"You will be my guest," Byakuya said simply.

Sudden tears filled the woman's grateful eyes.

"Thank you, Byakuya-sama!" she whispered, blinking them back, "Thank you."

Byakuya leaned forward, touching her face lightly and flinching inwardly as he remembered.

_"You look so worried, Byakuya-sama. I don't like seeing your eyes so sad. I know that my dying is making you feel that way and I am so sorry for making you hurt like that. I am sorry, Byakuya-sama, so sorry!"_

_"Hisana, do not apologize," he whispered, kissing her on the forehead and blinking back his tears, "I am fine, really."_

_She knew that he was lying, but bit her lip gently and nodded._

_"Will you lie down next to me for a while?" she asked, "You can tell me another story from your family histories. My head hurts too much when I try to read them, but I do enjoy them."_

_"Of course," he said, sliding into the bed beside her and pulling her close, "But you try to rest while I tell you the story."_

_"Very well," Hisana said, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder, "Thank you, Byakuya-sama. You are very kind to share your stories with me."_

_"It is nothing," he assured her, "It is traditional to pass them on by word of mouth through the family, from generation to generation."_

_He went still, seeing the sadness that welled up in her eyes, thinking that she would not be adding to those generations._

_"I am sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to..."_

_"It's all right," she assured him, "I just feel sad that I cannot have Byakuya-sama's child. But don't be sad. I hope that someday Byakuya-sama falls in love again and does have children. You would be a good father."_

"You okay, Taichou?" Renji asked, touching his shoulder, "You went kinda pale."

Renji froze as Byakuya leaned over Sakiko, looking quietly down into her pretty gray eyes as he began to infuse her with his life force. He heard the healer take a surprised breath, seeing what the noble was doing. Then, he thought back to Byakuya's collapse in the Rukongai a few days before and his state of weakness that had lingered for the past several days. He swallowed hard and tears welled up in his eyes as he watched the glowing reiatsu exchange between the two.

"T-taichou, that is...you know it's forbidden," he said in a soft, stunned voice, "Is this why you passed out, and you've been so..."

"You are to say nothing of this to anyone, Renji," the noble said stiffly, "I am not about to sit by idly and let her suffer when there is something I can do to comfort her."

Renji fought the fresh wave of tears the words brought on, and sat down beside Byakuya, nudging him aside and laying his bigger hands on the very surprised looking Sakiko.

"You two are...!"

She went silent, sniffing softly and tears of gratitude leaking onto her face as Renji continued the infusion, using his life force.

"Don't worry about it," Renji said, forcing a smile as the uncomfortable feeling of draining struck him soundly, "I just...don't want Taichou to feel lonely when they lock him up for a month or two to punish him. This way, we can serve our sentences together," he joked.

"Abarai," Byakuya said, giving him the ghost of a smile.

Sakiko looked quietly from one man to the other and found herself smiling widely as she drifted off again.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you sure about this?" Rikichi whispered, sliding down off of Arashi's back and moving into the shadows next to the council holding facility.

"Oh, sure," Koji assured him, "Arashi's a pro at using Tetsuya-san's waterforms. And so, he will make Rikichi-san a waterform. Just try to stay in the shadows as much as possible, so no one gets a good look. The forms are nearly invisible, but they can be detected by a suspicious person, or someone looking closely."

"I don't know about this," Rikichi said, swallowing hard, "What if I get caught?"

"You won't. And you really want to check up on Tetsuya-san, don't you?"

"Well, yes, I do. But..."

"Then, go on, Rikichi-san. Arashi will turn you into a waterform, and then you can either slip past the guards at the door while they are not looking, or you can slip in through that window over there. The form is water, so it can just spill through the opening and re-form on the other side. Go on. Try it."

Rikichi started to object, but froze and went silent as Arashi nickered softly and invoked Tetsuya's power. Rikichi felt, as he had before, in Byakuya's hot tub, that odd feeling of lightness as his body lost its color and faded from view. He watched curiously as Arashi made a second waterform beside him.

"What is that one for?" he asked, "Is one of you going in with me?"

"No," Koji explained, "Arashi has just made you an escape form, so that if you get into trouble, and you are about to be discovered, you only need to will yourself into it to escape back to where we are waiting. Go on, now, Rikichi-san. We will wait for you here!"

Rikichi swallowed his considerable doubts and left the place where they had concealed themselves. It felt strange, stepping out into the open like that, and he quickly sought the shadows as soft voices sounded somewhere nearby. Rikichi froze again as he rounded a corner and nearly ran into a guard detail that was coming out to scout the area around the building. But the men walked past him, talking to each other in quiet, but casual tones.

_Huh, this works pretty well._

He walked slowly to the building entrance, where the guards had come out. Waiting until he heard voices again, he positioned himself in the shadows near the door and waited until it opened to let two more guards out. In a swift flash step, he slipped inside as the doors were closing, and found himself in a large entry hall that had been darkened for the night. He followed the directions that Koji had painstakingly laid out for him, and worked his way into the holding area, concealing himself in doorways and alcoves when guards went by, and working his way to where the night warden sat at a desk, reading a magazine. Watching the man closely, he started across the room, then he went still, his heart in his throat as the magazine was lowered and the man looked in his direction for a moment. He frowned and squinted, then shook his head and cleaned his glasses, before returning to his reading. Rikichi fled while he looked away, then found himself in the cellblock, walking down a row of mostly uninhabited cells. He found Tetsuya's at the far end, and let the waterform squeeze carefully between the bars.

He approached Tetsuya on catlike feet and sat down on the far side of the cot, so that he could see if someone was coming. He studied Tetsuya's pretty, untroubled face, slipping a hand into the noble's as he tried to think of something to say.

"I am here, Tetsuya-san," he whispered, finally loosing his tongue, "You aren't alone. Arashi and Koji-san helped me get in to see you. I am glad you are comfortable and you are not scared or too sad, being locked up in here. It looks like they are not mistreating you, but I will be very happy when Tetsuya-san comes back to me."

He sniffed softly as guilt teased him.

"I am sorry that Tetsuya-san got in trouble because of me. I didn't mean for that to happen, so I apologize for making that happen. But, the truth is...I was sort of sad that you were going to have Kuchiki taichou's baby. Because, the way I am feeling, even though it would be a part of Tetsuya-san, I would wish that it was a part of me too. That's selfish. I know. But, I couldn't help feeling that way when you told me about it. I hope you can forgive me...for feeling jealousy like that, and for getting Tetsuya-san in trouble. I didn't mean to, and..."

He broke off as a soft hiss sounded, somewhere nearby, and then he dashed into a darkened area of the cell. He watched in horror as a large black snake slithered down the row of cells, honing in on Tetsuya's and sliding easily between the bars. Rikichi was about to move out of the corner to intercept it, but held back from moving and covered his mouth in surprise as the snake slowly shimmered and took on the form of a tall, wickedly handsome, black-eyed man.

_Who...is that?_

He took a step forward, clenching his hands as the man reached down to touch Tetsuya to bring him awake. Tetsuya's eyes opened and widened in terror as they found the other man looking down at him. He opened his mouth to cry out, but was silenced with a quick shock of kido. The man moved forward, loosening his clothes as he climbed onto the bed.

_Oh no!_

"Well now," the man said, looking down into the stunned noble's widened blue eyes, "Why don't we continue where we left off the other night in that alley."

_The alley!_

_Then, this is the man who tried to hurt Tetsuya-san!_

_I can't let him hurt Tetsuya-san._

_I have to stop him!_

As the man grabbed Tetsuya and forced him down between his thighs, Rikichi raised his shaking hands and took aim on him.

"Hado number thirty-one," he said soflty, "Shakkahou!"


	13. Nightmare

**Chapter 13: Nightmare**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**(Ah, so many thank yous and so little time! I'm catching up on getting things returned to my library and moving originals to AO3, while still trying to make sure Tetsuya-month is rolling along! Whew! So, thanks to Bijective and Invertible (Orochi will be getting his in this one, but he will also thoroughly earn it, so Tetsuya and Rikichi will have their hands full. And Sakiko will share more heartwarming and heartbreaking moments with Bya and Ren as they cope with her increasingly dire circumstances. But, something beautiful will help to ease some of the angst. Oh, can't wait to write it!), Anelir-Sensei (Rikichi's gonna have it out with Orochi before the end of this! that will be something to really enjoy.), Firebirdever (So glad you enjoyed your vacation! Welcome back.), Sscullys (Something will lighten and brighten things, but yeah, it will get a bit dark before that.), Renji-Bya-Lover (Rikichi is about to officially be ordered to protect Tetsuya...funny since Tetsuya's tryst with him was what got him landed in the council jail! lol But Orochi'd better watch out. Rikichi's earned a few stripes since he first debuted as a weak, unseated officer!), Kuumihaira (Rikichi to the rescue!), TomyAllen (A PUPPY! I LOVE PUPPIES! Haven't had one since my ancient Bichon died. He was a very sweet old guy. I have lots of cats, a couple of turtles, two hermit crabs and a one-eared bunny...he was born that way! Don't have so much time for a dog, but I still adore puppies! Ah, that Orochi...Rikichi will have to prepare himself carefully to deal with that snaky boy!), Shenigmatic (Aww, thanks! I was pleased with how it came out. But I do hit clunkers, now and then, so feedback is really good for making sure I'm staying on track!), Toshiruki Forever (He's on it!), MissLilly2012 (Oh yes, Bya will spend a lot of time lip-locked with his very addicted redhead! :) Ah...don't we all need some of that!), Chakragoddess (Heheh, I think it's really that I haven't written the end to a lot of the fics where he's tormenting Tetsuya. But, more than a few of those will be finished off. And I have a number of ways to make that bad boy pay!), Animemanga Luvr (Yup! I do like to play with characters and try them in different environments, so to see from new perspectives.), Nanome (Aww, I'm a pool of mushy goo! You are so nice! I think I'll be smiling all day!), Skrut180 (Hmmm, yup, that 'first time is _coming_ soon!), DieRedPineapple (Your wish is soon coming true!), Mina Kye (Thanks for the good wishes and loving support! You are so sweet! I am glad to have you reading along.), and the lovely Scarlotte O'Hara (Yup, Bya is seeing the ghost of Hisana in Sakiko, and helping Renji, using what he learned from his own experience.). Ah, finally all caught up on thank yous. You guys are the best!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX **

**"Hado, number 33, Shakkahou!"**

Rikichi's heart leapt into his throat as things seemed to move in slow motion, and Orochi and Tetsuya's heads turned in his direction. It was only then that he realized that attacking had made him visible to the other two men in the cell. Orochi sidestepped the blast, dragging Tetsuya off the bed and holding him like a shield in front of him. But seeing Rikichi seemed to bring life back into Tetsuya's body. He tore away from Orochi, crying out for the guards. Hearing the sound of pounding feet, Orochi grabbed Tetsuya by the throat and glared warningly down into his eyes.

"Don't you or that gutter rat, over there, tell _anyone _a thing, or you will be very, very sorry!"

Black mist enveloped him, and he returned to the snake form he used to enter the cell, then slithered away. Rikichi met Tetsuya's terrified eyes for a moment, then started towards him, but froze as Tetsuya shook his head and motioned for him to conceal himself.

"As long as you do not attack again, you can remain unseen. The form is only compromised while you are attacking, or if you are hit," Tetsuya hissed softly.

He sat down on the bed, panting heavily and cringing at the sound of the alarms ringing.

"Are you all right?" Rikichi whispered back.

But Tetsuya did not look up again. As the guards approached, he remained on the bed, his eyes shut tightly and his mind creeping back involuntarily into the past.

_"Oh no!" Naoki whispered in a horrified voice, flinching at the sounds of nearby screams and rumbling blasts, "They are killing the prisoners! Tetsuya-san!"_

_They backed into the far corner of their cell, holding on to each other and shedding frightened tears at the approaching sounds of killing and dying._

_"Please, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya whispered, burying his face in Naoki's shoulder, "Save us. Please save us. Please save us..."_

_Footsteps sounded outside their cell, and Noaki moved suddenly, shoving Tetsuya to the floor of the cell and throwing himself between the guard and his lover._

_"Naoki!" Tetsuya screamed, staring in dismay as the other youth's body was driven backward and fell on top of him, "Naoki!"_

_He barely noticed the guard being blown off his feet and rescue forces filling the cellblock. All he could see was that the love of his life was in his arms, too still, and not breathing._

"Naoki!" Tetsuya screamed, senselessly, "Byakuya-sama, help us! Please help us!"

Rikichi started to move, but suddenly felt himself pulled back to the escape form. He reappeared outside next to Arashi and a white-faced Koji.

"Rikichi-san, are you all right?" he asked urgently.

"I'm fine, but I have to go back in!" Rikichi cried, "Tetsuya-san is having some kind of fit!"

"Tetsuya-san was _awake_ in that place?" Koji asked, looking alarmed, "We were told that Byakuya-sama made sure that he would sleep! What happened?"

"A man slithered in...I mean, a snake that turned into a man. He had black eyes and he woke Tetsuya-san and attacked him! I fired a spell and he and Tetsuya-san saw me. Tetsuya-san called for the guards and the man threatened Tetsuya-san and me that if we told anyone he was there, he would make us sorry. Then, he turned back into a snake and slithered away. I am sorry. I know it sounds like I have lost it or something."

"No, not at all," Koji said with an angry edge to his voice, "I know who that man was."

"You do?"

"Yes. His name is Orochi-san, and he is a cousin. His subfamily is next most powerful after Byakuya-sama's so if he dishonors our leader, then he can make a play for power. So far, he has feared Byakuya-sama's power too much to act. But, he especially despises Tetsuya-san, for that he is a half-blood. Orochi-san's subfamily does not allow any mixed blood in their subfamily. They have always hated mixed bloods. And Orochi-san was supposed to be a spy for Byakuya-sama in Itamigiri, the old noble's prison where Tetsuya-san was held. But, he abused the prisoners, himself, especially Tetsuya-san. He called Tetsuya-san his property and beat anyone who touched him. But, he, himself, raped Tetsuya-san and treated him mercilessly!"

"Kuchiki taichou knew this, and...?"

"He could not get Orochi-san convicted," Koji explained, "Because to do that, he would have needed testimony, not only from prisoners, but from a full-blooded family member. It was unfair, but that was a rule. Things have changed and most of the subfamilies are not that way anymore, but Orochi-san's is."

"But Koji-san, I have to go back. After Orochi-san left, Tetsuya-san sat down on the bed, and he seemed to become trancelike. Then, he started screaming! He is still screaming. Can't you hear it?"

"I do," Koji said sadly, "But we cannot let ourselves be seen here. We would be in trouble."

"But, Tetsuya-san!" Rikichi objected.

"Shh, don't worry. The guards know that Tetsuya-san can't bear to be in a cell and be conscious. They will calm him and call for Byakuya-sama. Come, Rikichi-san. I know that it seems bad, but they will not leave him alone like that. He is not supposed to be in torment, just incarcerated. They will take care of him. Tetsuya-san will be all right. I promise. And if you come to Kuchiki Manor, it will be safer."

"S-safer?"

"Orochi-san saw you, ne?"

"Yes, when I attacked him to stop him from hurting Tetsuya-san, I became visible."

"I should have warned you," Koji said apologetically, "But I didn't imagine you would have any reason to be fighting anyone. That Orochi-san tried to attack Tetsuya-san like this is disturbing."

"We should tell Kuchiki taichou," Rikichi said, frowning.

"We will," agreed Koji, "But let Arashi take us back to Kuchiki Manor. You can sleep in the attendant's recess in Tetsuya-san's room. You will be safe there. The manor is on guard for Orochi-san, and he knows it. He won't try to hurt you or Tetsuya-san while you are here."

"A-are you sure it's okay for me to be there?" Rikichi asked uncertainly.

"Of course," Koji said quickly, "Now, come on, before we're seen!"

Rikichi gave a surprised yelp as he was yanked onto Arashi's back, and the stallion flash stepped away.

XXXXXXXXXX

"How is she doing?" Byakuya asked, stepping into the guest room, where Renji sat in a chair next to Sakiko's bed while she slept.

"She's better now. Definitely better," Renji answered, managing a weak smile, "Thanks, Taichou, for letting her come here to be cared for. I know that she'll have everything she needs. That takes a weight off."

"Good," the noble said, sitting down next to him and slipping a hand into his, "But Renji, you need more right now. You haven't been sleeping enough and you barely touched the food that was brought for you. I know that it has been a difficult day, but if you do not take care of yourself, you won't just be hurting yourself. Sakiko will know what you are doing. She is very perceptive. She will worry about you. And add to that, that if you let yourself get run down, you will not have the energy to be there for her, as I know you want to be."

"You're right. I know," Renji said, caressing Sakiko's hand and earning a soft, contented sigh, "It's just that it's real hard to sit here and feel helpless like this. I mean, it's not like I've never lost a friend to death. But the deaths down in Inuzuri tended to be sudden, or at least relatively fast. Diseases didn't have to be drawn out. We were weakened by hunger and the dangers of where we lived, so sick people didn't really linger for long. This is different. I have to sit and watch her weaken slowly, fight alongside her, knowing it's a losing battle, but just fighting for as long as I can before it's over."

"I understand," Byakuya said, meeting his eyes quietly.

"Yeah, you do, don't you?" Renji said, tears rising in his eyes again, "It was like this for you too. And Hisana was both your best friend and your wife, ne?"

"Yes."

And suddenly, the thought that occurred to Renji was so sad that the tears overflowed and began to roll down his face.

"Abarai?" Byakuya queried softly.

"I'm okay," Renji half-sobbed, "S-sorry. It's just that...I mean, at least I have you. But Taichou, who took care of you while all of that was going on? Who did you have to...to listen to you and...?"

"You forget that Tetsuya has been close to me since we were teens. And the staff you met, who are caring for Sakiko, are the same ones who cared for Hisana, during her illness. You needn't worry. I was not alone. Though, I thank you for worrying about me."

"Oh...right," the redhead said, recovering himself slightly, "That's...good that you had people to help you."

"I did," Byakuya agreed, looking into Renji's distressed eyes, "And you have all of us to help you now, as well."

All at once, the redhead's defenses, that had been cracking under the weight of the reality of Sakiko's condition, crumbled. His head drooped, and he leaned against Byakuya's shoulder, crying almost silently.

"Sorry," he managed softly, "I c-can't help it. I mean, I knew this was coming, but I didn't want to think about it, you know?"

"I know," Byakuya answered, turning his head, so that his face was rested against Renji's.

"I shouldn't do this here," the redhead sniffed, "I might wake her up."

"She will not wake, for now," Byakuya assured him, "I sensed that you were on the verge of breaking down and deepened her sleep, so that she would not be aware. She needs the rest, and you need to confront what you are feeling."

"Huh," Renji mumbled, "That sounds so strange, coming from you."

"When Hisana was ill, I did the same as you. I focused _all_ of my energy on bolstering her. Fortunately, there were those around me who understood that it was the wrong thing to do, and they took care of me, so that I could give her all of myself."

Renji's lips trembled as he tried to speak, and he took several gulping breaths, then seemed to regain some control.

"Okay, you probably have a point. Unfortunately, knowing what I _should_ do doesn't mean shit to me right now."

"Understandably," agreed the noble, "That is why you'll depend on us to steer you correctly as you flounder."

"Thanks, Taichou," the redhead said, taking another shivering breath as he brought himself back under control.

Byakuya said nothing more, but kept his fingers laced together with Renji's. They remained at her side, quiet but for a few whispered exchanges and more than a few warming kisses, until they were sure she was sleeping comfortably, and the evening meal was announced.

"I didn't even realize I was hungry," Renji sighed, stretching, "But, I'm really starved. It creeps up on you when your distracted, I guess."

"It does," the noble agreed.

They left the room and stepped out through the garden doors, onto the walkway, pausing as Torio came running to meet them, worry plain on his face.

"What is it?" asked Byakuya.

"Word came from the council hall," the attendant told him, panting as he tried to catch his breath, "Tetsuya-san somehow came awake. Byakuya-sama, he is beside himself, and they can't calm him down. They have tried kido, but he is fighting them too hard. They finally just left him with someone to comfort him and they could do no more, but they thought that since you and Tetsuya-san are close, you could help him."

Byakuya glanced back at Renji, a flicker of panic in his normally calm eyes.

"Wait here," he told the redhead, "I will be back."

"Huh," muttered Renji, following as he flash stepped away, "Like hell I'm gonna wait here..."

He remained on the noble's heels as Byakuya raced towards the council hall, his eyes still riled and his reiatsu flaring almost painfully. He flew up the steps and into the building, not slowing as he was waved on by the evening watch, a chill going through him as Tetsuya's hoarse, desperate cries reached him.

"You can't keep us here!" he screamed senselessly, "Let us go! Let us go, you _bastards_!"

"Take it easy, Tetsuya-san," said one of the guards who sat next to him, with a bracing arm wrapped around him, "Byakuya-sama is coming for you."

"Y-yes, Naoki," Tetsuya said, blinking in confusion as he looked at the guard, "He will come. We just have to be calm and wait, ne?"

"Yes, be calm, Tetsuya-san," the guard said, squeezing his sweating hand, "It will be all right."

"What happened to him?" Byakuya demanded, bursting into the cell with Renji a step behind, "I said that he was not to be allowed to wake!"

"We didn't wake him, sir," the guard explained, "He said that Orochi-san came into the cell, but there is no sign of him having been here, and we have not allowed him into the area, as per your instructions."

"It may be a hallucination," Byakuya surmised, "But that does not explain why he woke."

"He's very strong, sir. It could be that he shattered the kido, himself. You know that he suffers from horrible nightmares sometimes. It's in his records. We thought maybe he was having a nightmare and became so agitated that he woke himself."

"I suppose it's possible," the clan leader said, stepping forward and taking the guard's place at Tetsuya's side.

He wrapped his arms around his distressed cousin, brushing the damp hairs away from his tearstained face and looking into his dazed eyes.

"I am here, Tetsuya," he said quietly, "You are safe, now."

Tetsuya looked back at him, uncomprehendingly, for a few moments, then blinked several times, and seemed to regain some sense of himself.

"Byakuya-sama," he whispered, leaning his head against the clan leader's shoulder and closing his eyes.

"I think he's exhausted himself," Renji mused, making Byakuya look up in surprise as he realized the redhead was still with him, "Is he gonna be okay now?"

"Yes," Byakuya affirmed, "But he is not going to be able to stay here."

He nodded to the guard.

"Inform the council about what happened, then tell them that Tetsuya will be serving the rest of his sentence at Kuchiki Manor, being guarded by our own staff and confined to his room, and the gardens. He has been through enough. To keep him here would be far worse punishment than the council intended."

"Yes, sir," the guard said penitently, "And Byakuya-sama, I am sorry that we could not be more help to him. None of us felt that he deserved to be here. Tetsuya-san is a kind, gentle person."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "But do not worry about it. I will see to my cousin."

"Yes, sir."

Byakuya turned his head to look at Tetsuya, who had fallen asleep in his arms.

"We need to take him back to the manor," he thought aloud, "But I was in such a rush, I didn't think to bring Arashi."

"Then, let me help," offered Renji, moving forward.

Byakuya released Tetsuya, looking up gratefully as Renji lifted the younger man and carried him out of the cell.

"I knew that Tetsuya-san had been a prisoner once," Renji said, as they walked back to the manor together, "But I didn't realize that it was still affecting him like that. It's got to have been awful."

"It was," Byakuya said in a low, angry tone, "And the worst of it is that some of the ones who abused him in the prison are walking around free, and have never been punished...the worst of them, Orochi. If I find that he was in Tetsuya's cell, I am going to kill him, myself. Sometimes, I regret that I didn't do so long ago."

"But you couldn't just do that, kill a guy without him facing justice, ne? That's not the kind of person you are."

"Is it really right to let a man, who beat and raped my cousin repeatedly, walk free and to allow him to remind Tetsuya constantly of the pain he suffered? I wonder sometimes, Renji, if it is really justice that we are serving."

"Yeah, me too," agreed the redhead, "But you know that if you did just kill him, it wouldn't be the end of it."

"No. It would just start a war among the subfamilies, and the whole clan would suffer. The situation is not 'black and white,' as they say."

He watched as they reached Tetsuya's room at the manor, and Renji gently laid Tetsuya in his bed, then watched as his attendant tucked him in.

"Koji, I want to speak to you when you are done attending to him. But, make sure that there is someone in the room with him at all times."

"Oh," said Koji, glancing at the attendant's recess for a moment, "I will make sure that he is not left alone for a moment, sir. But, what is it that you want to speak to me about? Tetsuya-san's care orders?"

"Actually, I thought that I might have sensed your reiatsu near the council compound. I thought that we should talk about that."

"Ah," said Koji, nodding, "Of course, sir. A moment, then."

Byakuya and Renji waited as Koji made Tetsuya comfortable, then the three exited the room. A moment later, Rikichi emerged from the attendant's recess and approached the bed. He sat down beside Tetsuya and slipped a hand onto his, then caught his breath in surprise as the young man stirred and opened an eye to look up at him.

"Rikichi-san?" he whispered, looking confused for a moment, then remembering, "Oh...you were...Rikichi-san, thank you. Again, you protected me from that man."

"Well, I couldn't let him hurt you."

"And I am grateful. But...it means now that we will have to look out for each other. Because, since you helped me to escape him, now, twice, Orochi-san will not hesitate to harm you as well."

"Well, then," said Rikichi, moving forward and sliding into the bed with Tetsuya, "We'll just have to not leave each other alone for a moment!"

Tetsuya sighed and curled warmly into Rikichi's arms. The two drifted off together, not waking even when Koji looked in on them, smiled and exited the room again.


End file.
